You're shy? If the answer is yes, then you are in great company - according to surveys, considers himself shy, almost half of adults. Thus, when the shy people hear such data, they wonder - until now they thought that people like them - units. Shyness in adults as well as children and adolescents, is a kind of excessive introversion - people are extremely concerned about what he does, how it looks and what people think around.
How shyness affects the way of life
Although shyness affects people of all ages, it can have a particularly serious impact on the lives of adults - particularly shy person harder to succeed in professional life, establish a romantic relationship, and so on. Such people are hard to start and maintain a conversation, move on to intimacy, to interact in a group, contact the authorities.
People who for a long time can not cope with shyness, rarely go out on dates, have not well developed skills of verbal and non-verbal expression of his own thoughts and feelings, are less interested in other people (and not because of the fact they really are not interested) . As a result, it is becoming harder to arrange them at both the workplace and in a variety of situations of social interaction.
Shyness is particularly evident in times of significant change in life, for example, after a divorce, dismissal, moving, and so on. As a consequence, man is difficult to adapt to changing conditions, because of what he can develop depression, anxiety, and other disorders.
Common features of shy people
Shyness all manifested in different ways, but shy people have a lot in common. Firstly, many of them are struggling to avoid situations when you have contact with other people, especially strangers, bosses or government officials.
Generally, shy people want to chat and interact successfully with people, but for some reason they believe that it is not capable of it. Therefore, the typical shy experiences associated with the inability to get what you want.
Secondly, shy people are slow to adapt to situations of social interaction
. They can come to some kind of event, to be ten minutes and leave, making sure that they feel at ease
. In fact, they need a little more time to shop around, to understand that they are no one looks accusingly, and perhaps find one or two people with whom they could communicate quite well
. Another common mistake that many shy people if the party starts at eight in the evening, they come at nine, hoping that among the guests already on them will not pay too much attention
. Psychologists recommend them to arrive early, maybe half an hour before the start (7
. 30), to a little getting used to the place where the party will be held, to greet arriving guests and then to nine in the evening they will feel more or less comfortable
Third, shy people have very little comfort zone. They have friends and acquaintances, but very few. They tend to deal with the same things with the same people again and again, because it makes them feel more or less confident. They refuse to try new activities, and may limit their social contacts, if friends start to regularly offer them to do something new. Even if they want variety, fear to go beyond the tiny comfort zone is often stronger. At the same time they would like to expand the comfort zone, but it sure can not do it, and feel as if stuck in it.
Shyness and work
Shyness can significantly hinder your job search. Call a potential employer, a job, go to the interview - to do this, a shy person should be many times more work than those who do not suffer from shyness
How to win your shyness?
. But even if he gets a cherished place, it will not end the problem: Many positions require good communication skills, self-confidence and ability to speak convincingly. The statistics show that shy people and introverts, harder to get promoted than extroverts. The more timid person, the less impressive are his career achievements - even with a high level of education.
What to do if you are shy
Many shy people eventually begin to suffer from family problems, anxiety, alcohol abuse and other forms of abuse. They can see a doctor and take medication, usually antidepressants, but they only help to cope with depression
Depression - a little more than a bad mood
Anxiety - how to distinguish normal from disease?
; shyness after drug therapy is not going anywhere. Many people with time just dropped his hands; they begin to justify the failure of all his shyness and unwillingness to do anything else, explaining simply, "I'm shy, there's nothing you can do about it."
However, shyness - it is not a sentence. Maybe get rid of it completely impossible, but man can overcome it constantly reminding myself that shyness - it is not a vice, but just such a character trait (overconfidence, if you think nothing is better). Communicating with others, think it is about them, not about how you look in their eyes. Remember that most people do not want to hurt you, and that around you certainly still a lot of people who suffer from shyness, too - after all, they are almost half of the total population. Gradually, you will cease to withdraw into themselves, become more open to dialogue and see - many people really want to chat with you. Shyness - not a disease, and it is possible and necessary to live a happy and fulfilling life.