"Children - cheerful. They quickly return to normal. " People who have already started divorce proceedings, must have heard such words. As parents who hurt their children, they hope that these words are true. They dream that the children have gone through this whole nightmare with less emotional turmoil that he left deep wounds. Although children can easily adapt to any, even the most severe conditions, divorce leaves painful sores. That is why children need help and support of parents.

Because children experience divorce weight loss: Move one of the parents, their own move to a new house (depending on the financial situation of the family), the loss of familiar surroundings.

Sometimes changing and friends, brothers and sisters are suffering deteriorating financial situation, a bad mood at the custodial parent, there is anger and pain. A sense of security and well-being questioned when the kids look back and see the new, unstable around the world.

What can parents do? For many, divorce - it's a shock to the nervous system. How can I recover from this, the more help in this to your child? In this article you will find a practical guide that will help ease the pain, to overcome the difficulties associated with divorce, to comfort the children and let them be kids, when parents are going through hard times.

Where to start recovery

Recovering from a divorce - it's a long process that starts with you personally. Divorce will be for your child less emotional turmoil, if you yourself are calm. Take note of a few tips on the complacency that can help you and your child:

• Find a support group

That the child has recovered normal, you need to feel it in your strength and support. The group should be a source of encouragement and support. The group also needs to be a partnership, the mission comforter and adviser did not go on the shoulders of the child. This role traumatizes the child and reinforces his experience.

• Tell the truth

Explain to your child that the divorce has nothing to do with him. Tell him that this is only you and your former spouse (wife), and in any case not the child. Reassure him that he is still loved by both parents.

Tell him the truth, he can understand, that is, take into account the child's age. If you do not honestly and openly discuss these things, you will only reinforce his anxiety and increase the number of questions about the issue. If your wife left the family for another man, tell the child: "Your mother decided that he no longer wants to live with me. She wants to be with another man, but she is still very fond of you. "

• Gradually move on to change

Give your child a chance to get used to the changes in the family. The child is difficult to perceive the parents separately, but even worse for the child - to lose family members, familiar environment, home, school, friends and neighbors. Some changes are needed, but try to reduce their number.

• Wait with personal life

It is best to wait two years, and then begin a new relationship. So you give yourself time to recover and the child after the divorce. In an extreme case, have not met with anyone until the divorce is not decorated. You're still married. So you can set an example for your child. Even after the divorce, focus on your own recovery, and on the needs of the child. You are still too vulnerable, and other relationships can cause more damage.

• Allow the child to love the other parent

Do not let resentment interfere with your child's good relations with the former spouse (wife). Help your child to buy greeting cards and gifts, if necessary. Your child will feel relief that you allow him to love the other parent.

Never opposes itself the other parent. It may be hard, but refrain from negative talk about your ex-husband (wife), for your own child.

• Discipline the child in accordance with the situation

Do not let your own sense of guilt affect the educational measures - be executive parent. Remember that persistence and perseverance form the character. Strict discipline, reasonable limits and daily work will be able to give your child a sense of security and confidence.

• Allow the child to remain a child

Please refrain from talking about finances, schedule of visits (the other parent), family problems and quarrels in the presence of a child. Do not use it for the transmission of information or as an argument in the debate. Preserve and protect his innocence.

Divorce deals a devastating blow to your children. Stay gentle to your kids and remember that the most important thing - their emotional recovery after a divorce.

What you need for your child to recover from the divorce of their parents

Some people would not say that their family is disadvantaged and parents were divorced. Rather, it would have sounded a compliment Compliments and their meaning: do not mistake the words   for them, it is very difficult to be in a difficult situation and not to show it.

Many parents after the divorce, children are transported to other cities, most often there, where they live by their own parents. Thus disappears and financial support to the other parent. A parent raising a child works hard to support his family and does not reject the help grandparents of the child. Only through faith in the family can survive a divorce. Whatever may be said, after his parents divorced children to grow up and to take steps to adulthood is very hard.

The impact of divorce on children depends on their age. Young children (ages five to eight years) regress in development, behave more emotionally than they are "supposed" age. They feel guilty that the other parent left the family ("Dad got angry at me?") Or experiencing the fear of loneliness.

The researchers concluded that children of that age (to understand what is happening, but do not know how to deal with etoim), experiencing a turning point in his life when faced with the divorce of parents.

Why parenting style and tactics of behavior of parents are so important to a child's development? Many of us have had children or are planning to have children in the future. It is important to understand what is meant by a good development and education. My family upbringing will influence the future of children.

Even if you think you have chosen the right style of education, you can be wrong. In 1960, psychologists have identified three main parenting styles: authoritative, authoritarian and permissive. Later he was assigned another, fourth, style - indifferent (indifferent). In this article we take a closer look are two styles of family education: liberal and indifferent.

What is the indifferent style

How it affects children indifferent parenting style? It's very simple - this style means a sloppy approach to child-rearing. It is inherent to parents who are too busy with their own problems and can not meet the minimum needs of the children. They are emotionally distant from the children, showing very little love and do not think about raising children. Such indifference of the parents contributes to the development of children of mistrust towards others, anxiety and stress How to beat stress? Create an oasis . This is due to the lack of family support and poor parenting. Children whose parents are practicing indifferent parenting style is often difficult to construct a meaningful and valuable relationships. They prefer to take care of ourselves and rely only on themselves.

Signs of a liberal style

Compared to the indifferent style of education, liberal can be called a more "humane". Parents who adhere to this style show to children is very low requirements, but are open to dialogue. Liberal parents - unconventional and indulgent to children. They rarely require children mature behavior and try to avoid conflicts.

Parents who follow a liberal style, often contradictory to set the rules, but usually very caring. They use bribery to obtain the desired behavior from the child. Permissive parents often acts as a friend, and not as the child's parent. Children who are brought up liberal parents, often referred to as "spoiled." In other words, they can get whatever they want from their parents, provoking them. They grow up with a lack of discipline, poor social and communication skills, very selfish and self-doubt. Recent studies have shown a link between liberal parenting style, and drug and alcohol abuse. Such parents do not have the patience and time for children, so he prefers to bribe them with gifts.

It is important to understand the different styles of family education before you bring up the child. It is the parents affect the future behavior and skills of the child. The indifferent and liberal style - not the best styles of child rearing Raising a child: who will win? If you want your child has grown to be a successful person. First you need to familiarize yourself with all styles, and only then proceed to the education of the child.