Transitional age - this time serious changes not only for teens but also for their parents. To the children and parents have successfully gone through this time, it is important to understand what happens to a young man, how it affects the awkward age, and how it can help adults.

Physical development

When a person enters into puberty, his body is changing so fast, it has not changed since he was an infant.

• Rapid weight gain and growth. During the growth spurt that adolescents lasts about a year, the girls grow, on average, 8.9 cm, and the boys - 10.4 cm. Typically, growth spurt in girls occurs two years earlier than boys. Weight gain is due to the development of muscle tissue and fat boys - the girls.
• The development of secondary sexual characteristics. Changes in hormone levels leads to the fact that teenagers are developing secondary sexual characteristics. These include: pubic hair, menarche (first period), or penis enlargement, voice change (in boys), the growth of hair in the armpits, facial hair growth in males, increased activity of the sebaceous and sweat glands.
• The development of the brain. Recent studies have shown that the brain is fully developed only by the end of puberty Puberty child - stages of a complex path . In particular, adolescents still work well enough connections between neurons that influence on the emotional sphere and some mental functions. This may be the reason that many teenagers are not well controlled by your emotions Emotions and culture: how to decipher the emotional code   and actions.

How does it affect a teenager?

Teens sleeping longer than usual. Experts believe that they really need to sleep for a long time, so the body can normally cope with a heavy workload during rapid changes. The average teenager requires 9.5 hours of sleep Dreams: how to understand our dreams   per day.

Clumsiness is caused by the rapid growth and the fact that the teenager does not have time to adapt to the changes that are happening to his body.

Adolescent girls are starting to pay attention to your weight. According to approximate data, more than 60% of girls in the transition to adulthood for the first time go on a diet. In 1-3% of them develop eating disorders - anorexia Anorexia nervosa - symptoms and effects on the body   or bulimia.

Teens are being more interested in sex. It occurs naturally under the influence of hormones and the changes that occur with the body. There is nothing wrong, and parents should not blame the children for such an interest (or try to convince them that it is too early to think "about it"); it is best to tell your child about how to protect themselves from unwanted pregnancy and disease, as well as to explain that sex should ideally precede deep, trusting relationship between the partners.

Cognitive Development

• Development of abilities to argument. At puberty a person learns to accept and justify the decision, taking into account the different circumstances and possible scenarios. His thinking is more logical, precise and independent.
• The development of abstract thinking and the ability to metamyshleniyu. Abstract referred thinking about what can not be touched directly, that you can not see or hear; abstraction in thinking exist only in the human mind. The development of this ability is that teens may engage in the study of more complex things, as well as serious reflection on topics such as faith, trust, belief, spirituality, and so on.
• Metamyshlenie - the ability to think about what a person thinks and feels. Because of this ability a person begins to understand better how it is perceived by others; He is also aware of how his thinking, and this allows him to better store and organize different information.

How does it affect a teenager?

Shyness. At a certain period, almost all teenagers are convinced that the people around will certainly care about how they look and what they do. They become shy (although sometimes it may be trying to cover too aggressive, ostentatious behavior), and only as they mature to understand that most people, in fact, think mostly about themselves.

The lack of fear ("it can not happen to me"). Capacity for abstract thought and reasoning is not immediately allow young people to do the right conclusions. Therefore, so prevalent among these risky behaviors: they are convinced that will not become pregnant if they have sex without a condom, do not develop cancer if they smoke, and they do not happen anything wrong, if they drink or take drugs in an unfamiliar company.

Propensity point around their mistakes. Teens already know how to analyze the actions of others, but they are usually judged very harshly: for them there is only black and white, with no shades in between. Most often "victims" emerging thinking teenager become parents. Teens can say very bad things, without thinking about what the other person feels (or thinking, but later), and it is very sensitive to criticism.

Psychosocial development

• Formation of personality - one of the most important tasks of adolescence. Teenagers usually do not question - who am I? In contrast, in the transition to adulthood, they attach great importance to the opinion of others, and often try to change yourself to please others. However, as a result, try on a few social roles, a growing person understands what it is he wants, and begins to appreciate the unique features of his personality.
• Formation of independence. Teenage Riot - the most common sign that a person begins to assert its independence. Although he can do it pretty rough, as a result, contrary to the fears of many parents, all will be well: the teenager learns to be an independent person, and at the same time to interact successfully with others. Can not interfere with this process, otherwise you risk to grow infantile personality, which in 30 years will continue to need your support.
• Selection of targets. Many people in the transition to adulthood to understand what they want to achieve in life, and start to somehow move toward your goal (although the target can be changed more than once). Adolescents need to understand what he has most marked ability, and how it can be applied in the future. Parents should encourage the aspirations of the child and offer him various opportunities for the realization of his talents.

There are many different styles of family education. Understanding what style is right for you, will create a positive environment conducive to personal growth, emotional and intellectual development of the child.

The most common styles of family education

Good parents characterize the set of qualities. One of these qualities - consistency. To achieve better results in education, stick to one style of education, promote the achievement of children and punish them for breaking the rules - it will help your child understand the place it occupies in the house. Children need loving guidance; for peace of mind and balance they need structure with clear causal links. Four different parenting style determined the extent of care and control, aimed at children. These are two key factors formed the four basic parenting styles: the liberal (indulgent), authoritarian, authoritative (democratic) and the indifferent. Each of these styles peculiar to different educational values, practices, behaviors, and the balance between the requirements and response.

Style convergence

Although the style of convergence did not arise yesterday, in recent years can be seen a surge of interest in this style of parenting.

My approach (natural training) assumes full involvement and active participation of parents in a child's daily life .  Many parents begin practicing this style of parenting, when the child is still in the womb: sing him songs, read books aloud, listen to music and "talk" to the unborn child to the most serious topics .  When a baby is born, the parents prefer to contact education: they try not to lower it with the hands, worn in a sling, to strengthen the emotional bond between parent and child .  When the child grows, parents, practitioners style convergence, direct them in a positive way and encourage the development of all spheres of perception .  Many parents even refuse to general education and teach children in private, inviting teachers home .  As a rule, parents supporter style convergence, stand up for the protection of the environment, they are vegetarians and have a proactive stance .  In their home predominant natural products, including the menus and environmentally friendly toys .

Although specific methods of education may differ, all parents who have a style closer, trying to create a favorable environment for the child, full of love and positive emotions Emotions and culture: how to decipher the emotional code .

The authoritative (democratic) parenting style

The authoritative style - the most disciplined parenting style. Authoritative parents take responsibility for their children, their behavior and actions, until the children reach emotional maturity. Authoritative parents some consider too strict, but in fact the authoritative type of education to promote positive behavior, as they are used entirely reasonable moderate discipline.

Children reared by authoritative parents in later life achieved the greatest success, they become self-reliant, responsible and self-confident people. Thanks to the care of authoritative parents, their attention to the life and needs of the child, he not only seeks to please them, but also gets the general direction for the further development and personal growth.

Authoritarian parenting style

The authoritarian style relies on cultivating a child's fear and desire to strictly follow the rules. Authoritarian parents try to instill at an early age the child of fear and discipline. This style of training is focused on punishment rather than promotion. It can adversely affect the self-esteem of the child and prevents its full development. Authoritarian parents seek to control all aspects of a child's life. Children of authoritative families have virtually no rights and are deprived of freedom of action. Authoritarian parents often send their children to boarding schools, for example, military schools or boarding schools.

If you seek to create a favorable environment for the development of the child, recommends not to use this style of parenting. The most favorable for the development of children of a system in which there are clear rules, limits and values.

The liberal parenting style

Permissive parents tend to give their children all the best, all of them are trying to please. Parents are willing to give this type of requirements of the child from an early age and readily indulge in any of his whims and fancies, without bringing him virtually no requirements. The principal figure in the relationship "parent - child" is a child, not the parents.

Permissive parents tend to be guided by good intentions, but their efforts could lead to the opposite effect. Most of us at least once met with the children of permissive parents - they are irresponsible and childish to believe that others owe them, do not like and do not know how to work. In short, it's spoiled children, the nature of which was formed under the influence of a combination of low expectations and low discipline.

The indifferent parenting style

Unfortunately, many parents are practicing indifferent parenting style, often without even knowing it. Apathetic parents just ... indifferent. They do not participate in the child's life, is not interested in his needs. Children in such families tend to grow lonely and withdrawn or aggressive and unmanageable. If you realize that your child began to a stranger, or you're prone to depression Depression - a little more than a bad mood   and you can not give him enough attention, seek help from a professional family psychologist and visit several consultations.

Children brought up indifferent parents tend to be compensated and antisocial behavior. They often become alcoholics, drug addicts, rapists and criminals.

How to find a middle ground

Not every style of parenting is right for your family and for your child. It may be that your child is disciplined by nature, but it is required for the development of warmth and caring. Or your child, on the contrary, requires discipline and a clear structure, he needs order to feel safe. Before selecting a style of parenting, parents need to understand what values ​​they can and want to transfer your child what is expected of him, and what in your view should be the ideal family.