If you read in the title phrase "neurolinguistic programming" with sighs and groans were quick to translate his view of any other material or even gone to other home pages, this is not surprising. In absolute incomprehensibility of the language that describes the Internet neuro-linguistic programming, NLP can safely give 1000 points sopromat odds, the basics of Marxism-Leninism and quantum physics together. But do not be afraid, we still try to briefly and clearly explain what kind of a beast, NLP.

In fact, if we ignore the many side techniques, principles, sub-complexes and related ten-and mostly devoid of real meaning of the words, it turns out that neurolinguistic programming is a way to, on the one hand, to understand what caused this or that behavior of the object (the individual or group of individuals, group) with whom you are at this point in time you contact the other, to find the most effective way to persuade the object to the actions that are beneficial to you in the first place.

The concept of NLP and its basic principles were formulated in 1973 by American scientists John Grinder, Gregory Bateson, and at the time was a student of Richard Bandler (later, in the late 80's - early 90's, fathers NLP quarrel with each other as to who was the chief "father" and how should be the same neuro-linguistic programming - it came to litigation). The basic principle and the cornerstone of all the NLP, which is in the programming and holds a principle of modeling, that means before you act, you need to create a strategy to simulate the behavior of the object to which kontaktiruesh and who are trying to influence. Modeling in this case passes through the following stages:

• proper monitoring of the strategy of behavior of the object;
• so-called coding strategy, that is, identification and description of the principles of the algorithms by which an object creates its own strategy;
• "Subtraction" of the model created by the factors and principles which are minor and do not determine the purpose and character of the strategy of the facility;
• Double-creation strategy, with the help of which you either copy existing facilities to achieve very good results similar to, or are there a weak link, acting on that neutralizes this strategy.

Relatively speaking, the whole system of NLP is based on the conviction that not only and not so much the way a person sees the world affects his thoughts, reactions and behavior as contrary .  That is, according to this view, if you want to achieve something from a man, do not try to change his outlook on life and values, it is enough to encourage him (honestly could say 'make it through a series of manipulations ") on those actions, which will be beneficial to you .  Of course, this kind of knowledge and skills can be useful in all walks of life, as they somehow assume all communication between people, including for the purpose of medical treatment of neuroses and similar psychological states .  But the most principles of neurolinguistic programming, of course, common in business and in communion with the opposite sex - in these directions correct communication promises the most significant dividends .

Of course, NLP many supporters and even adepts .  However, many people are opposed to practical use as the active principles of Neuro Linguistic Programming and against further theoretical research in this area .  On the one hand, many scientists say the absence of this scientific base at the NFP, as this system has proven firm foundations of any psychology or linguistics or industry engaged in the study of particular biochemical reactions .  On the other, it raised moral and ethical aspect of NLP, which is actually a way to manipulate the human mind against the will of whom this action is .  For example, many accused the creators of Neuro Linguistic Programming is that it is due to the use of these techniques adherents of various destructive mystical sects were able to recruit into its ranks a large number of people .

However, supporters of NLP, including make up the bulk of managers at various levels and the foreign conquerors of hearts, dismiss these objections. Scientists, they say that they matter, whether NLP scientific basis or it is not, the main thing that this system gives them a narrow range of practical results. Well, and the champions of morality "NLP-ists" in general given up - it's somewhere where, as in love and in business all good.

  Alexander Babitsky

  First of all, the necessary conditions, which means "right"? Correct - it is familiar, in which you achieve the object of desire of the subsequent communication. In other words, to achieve reaction "positive".

How to start?

Naturally, attracting attention, and you can achieve this in different ways. The most common of them: "Hello! ". Rules of etiquette just leave "victim" choice but to answer his own "hello! "

The next most popular followed by "supervopros." However, questions have yet to learn to ask! There are two kinds of them: first, the question is closed, there are a limited number of variations of the response; second, respectively, open question, but it is not limited in the response. For example, attracting the attention of the phrase, "the girl, tell me: what time? "And received a laconic:" 17:34 ", you will have to stretch the imagination to continue to keep the attention of the object and continue to communicate. And, say, to ask her a woman's opinion on what style of dress you would fit more in response will receive a detailed monologue!

Compliment expresses our natural desire to show their sympathy for the object. The difficulty is that a compliment, we tend to put what is most clearly a matter of priority and catches the eye. For example: "What are you beautiful! ". On the one hand, every woman is a pleasure to hear once again reinforce their pride, on the other hand, the beauty knows that she is beautiful - is not new for her! Originality is several times increases the efficiency of compliment Compliments and their meaning: do not mistake the words "You have such a penetrating gaze, perhaps, you can see through people? ".

You can also fully trust the situation and act in accordance with it, "Stop, you can not go there! Passage closed! Come on, I know a short cut! "Take an object by the hand and win over him; or, for example, as "sir, but could you help me bring the bags, but I do not seem to calculate the forces in the store ...". In the above variation between men and women played the role of the strong and the weak, that is prirodnopredpolagaemye. It is also notable for the fact that between you installed tactile contact directly (through contact) or indirectly (through item), which contributes to the feeling of confidence call.

To draw attention to possible and sound effects, for example, obstuchal shoes from the snow: "What a slob! I hate winter! Do you like? ". Or scare her bicycle trill call and offer to bring the lady.

But if you want, that acquaintance was vivid and memorable escort him outside the box! You can, for example, to introduce an employee sociological service, and test object on the topic of sexual preferences - will come in handy for the future!

What's next?

And then, in fact, left with two choices: either you ready to communicate and keep or share your contacts and transfer meeting. If you are still not ready or for some reason can not continue talking, let's hurry to work, then simply exchanged phone numbers with the object. For example, going to object and ask her to help you write a SMS acknowledgment of sympathy for the girl. When the last will help you make it, just say it in line to enter a destination number and send SMS!

What should I say?

You can talk all you want, but that is acceptable to both. It could be a joke, stories and anecdotes; It can be life stories, dialogues about science, politics, or your favorite cartoon. The main thing that the conversation was interesting and comfortable for both! To what extent have to adjust to the partner and to find common ground.

Sometimes, when we first met shyness gets the upper hand, and to find a common theme vzaimointeresnuyu turns out far not at once. A great way to save is going to the movies. While viewing, firstly, it provides the ability to set a break and tactile contact (for example, take the hand); and, secondly, - opens the door to dialogue: here and directing idea and hidden meaning, the acting ...

Pawn luck any endeavor - a positive emotion Emotions and culture: how to decipher the emotional code . Give them to each other, then communication will be easy, joyful and so desirable!

Collegiate Olga