January 1 - the beginning of a new life
December 30, 2008
Before each New Year's feast we spend a certain amount of time to try to invent what we wish our loved ones in the coming year. The problem is really serious, because all the most important things in regards repeated every year - health, happiness, love and material well-being, harmony in the family, and so on, and in the same spirit. However, there is one New Year's wish that it would be very relevant, as it has for others is as important as it is for us. This wish to successfully change his life and himself.
It is no secret that on January 1, many people choose as a reference point for any new initiatives, as the beginning of the path to something positive, and the first step in dealing with something negative. The content of the "road to a brighter future" can be quite varied: stop smoking
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Get rid of the excessive craving for alcohol, lose a few kilos, overcome his timidity and indecision in communication ... is very common desire - to change himself.
And then New Year's, oddly enough, plays with us zuyu joke. Because these holidays even adults start to think that life is not such a complicated thing, that it is always a good place wizards, grandfathers Frost and Santa Claus, who will help us achieve this. Moreover, we ourselves begin to look at themselves a little differently - it seems to us that before we did not get the desired just a misunderstanding by an unhappy coincidence, but now we will succeed.
And we are encouraged to begin the new year with honest attempts to do with them what we want to achieve as a result. Throw in the trash pack of cigarettes is recorded in the gym silt and buy a set of dumbbells home, give yourself more and vow not to look in the direction of a bottle of beer, vodka or wine. But they say the statistics: the total number of people on the New Year to give yourself and other solemn promises change to the next January can say with a clear conscience perform tasks only every ninth. The other did not happen, and everyone will find this a logical explanation and plausible justification. And with no less enthusiasm than 12 months ago, this new year will give a promise to change from 1 January.
Why is this happening? The reasons, of course, can be varied and individual, and these reasons can count thousands. But if you try to find them something to do, it turns out that we always stop halfway and at the very beginning because they do not have enough determination to overcome the difficulties that will arise without fail. Here arises another equally important question - how to find the strength to overcome these obstacles, what is the incentive to seek to continue the fight?
The answer can be only two. The first of these is now rapidly gaining popularity and becoming the most common. Western scientists, psychologists assure us that the main factor in the success of any project is the luck factor. Thus, under the good fortune and luck they fail serious scientific basis. For convenience, they even composed a formula luck. Record: NATURE OF LUCK = + Health + self-esteem. The concept of "character" in this case, put all the personal characteristics of the person (interpersonal skills, temperament, outlook - optimistic or pessimistic, and so on). Under the "health" is meant not only physical health, but also the financial well-being, and the number of friends. In the "self-esteem" in addition to the appropriate level of self-esteem and more embedded sense of humor.
In addition, on the way to mastering the luck, the assurance of some scientists, it is necessary to pass three stages of self-hypnosis. At first you say to yourself: "inexhaustible bounty of life, and all around there to satisfy the interests of all; you need only a little wider open eyes to see the good luck. " The second step is to look at life as an adventure, not as an ordeal. The third step is to believe that every day gives you plenty of opportunities everywhere - we just have to learn to see them.
This is the first way - to become a successful and good luck to catch the tail. The second way is much more difficult, more difficult and unattractive. There is no need to sharpen their hunting instincts and customize all of your sensors to search, tracking and zaarkanivanie luck (for example, some of the proponents of "successful" theory are advised to communicate with the more successful people - they say, power and success will spread to you). Here you need to understand both simple and incredibly complex thing - you need to change yourself. Or rather, to change their approach to any business, including such important as the transformation of his life. The main thing here, as it may seem trite, do not retreat, no surrender. And remember that if not all, very much depends on it from you.
Scientists, psychologists (other than those that mainly considered good luck) found that of those people who are still fulfilling their New Year's resolutions and achieve their New Year's goals, most of themselves placed in conditions where they just had to move on. For example, men who set a goal to lose weight, achieve results, not when worn with a global goal "Oh, I would lose weight and gain shape like Brad Pitt in the movie" Troy "." Success they achieved when set small, specific, achievable in a short period of time the target - for example, to lose a pound a week, or for the same week to increase the number of push-ups from 10 to 11. Men's psychology - a psychology to achieve a specific goal, global challenges men guard and convince their inaccessibility.
Internal mechanisms several other women. For women it is important the main task, the light image, which they themselves have drawn at the end. If we have already undertaken to give examples with losing weight, we will continue this theme. All the same research statistics show that among women who solemnly promised myself in the new year to become thinner in the waist and hips in elegant, much higher than the percentage of successful among those who shared these plans with their friends. It turns out that only good intentions to change itself is not enough, you need to put yourself in a situation where you are most effective, albeit gradually and under the pretexts unseemly, but still will move to the goal.
Let the second method unsightly, unpleasant, difficult, but personally I somehow he likes. While everyone chooses.
How to live after the loss: the pain that you need to understand
June 25, 2012
Men and women are experiencing a lot of stress in different ways. Women seeking support from their loved ones, for them it is very important that others were there and comforted them after the loss.
Men often believe that showing sadness and pain - a woman's business, and a sign of weakness. Faced with the loss, they are immersed in any case and are pleased that overcome difficulties on their own.
But both men and women need to learn to cope with severe stress
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To survive it without profound consequences for the psychological health.
Woe bereavement - one of the most difficult challenges in life. After going through it, part of the personality change, and will never be the same as before. But the pain can not only destroy the person, but also to make it stronger and wiser.
In some moments, especially soon after the loss, the pain is so strong that it seems it is simply impossible to bear. But think about what your loved one has left hardly like that you feel so bad for him. The loss of loved ones - it's forever, but even now can not imagine how you will live, you will find the strength to cope with this. To restore the lost joy and overcome the pain, try:
- remember that departed closer still with you; They live in your heart. Memories of him will always be alive and to see it, you only need to close your eyes. Every time you feel the need to be closer to this person, find a quiet place, close your eyes and mentally talk to him. So you will feel much better.
- maintain intimacy with the departed person, talking about it. People around you can experience the same feeling to you and will be happy to share their thoughts. Talk about what you have experienced together, the good times and bad, about the funny and sad occasions. The memories of the wonderful time you spent together, will long keep his memory alive.
- strengthen memory. When we leave the road for man, we do not want other people to forget what he has done in his life. You can, for example, to establish a scholarship or a prize in his name. This, of course, not available to all, but to plant a tree the name of a loved one can be one. And believe me, every tree is every bit as important to our world than a charity.
- not for a moment forget that the deceased nearly always wish you happiness. He would like to see, and after his death, you lived a full life, smiled, laughed, slept, doing what you love, love. If you live like this, it does not mean that you forget it. He will never leave your heart. But in the world there are many people and businesses, which can affect their love as well as his, he influenced you. This is the best way to perpetuate his memory, because it's his love will never die, but rather multiplied.
After the loss of a loved one, we have to go through the pain to experience it fully, and - to live. We can take the memory of loved ones with you, wherever we went. We can make them proud of us, after all, one way or another, we will take all the way along.