Excessive parental care: helpful or harmful?

May 21, 2012

 excessive parental care
 What could be the consequences of an excess of parental care and attention to children? Previously, women took care of the house and were immersed in the household chores while their children are entertained in the street with endless fun and games. Women in the kitchen preparing soups, baked sweets and doing the cleaning. What has changed today? Instead of working at home, women are more worried about whether their child falls under the category of "normal", according to the same age, and by the standards of consumer ideology.

Nowadays, parenting has become very stressful, highly organized and competitive employment and is seen as a project that you need to perform.

 Excessive parental care: helpful or harmful?

Can choke loving embrace?

In the old days children were confident and were able to go to school on foot or to run out somewhere on the instructions of, despite the fact that it could take a long time.

Many parents tell stories about how to go to school in the rain, in spite of the wind and snow. Some of these stories in our time may seem ridiculous. Nowadays a new type of parental fears that cause harm to health and well-being of children. It is the parents that show excessive care and custody.

 Excessive parental care: helpful or harmful?

Excessive parental care - the result of hysteria in the media?

In the occurrence of the phenomenon of excessive parental care to blame the media, in particular the reports of the abduction and sexual exploitation of children. Naturally, we all want to protect their children from the surrounding violence. Television advertising and ads in the newspapers give the appearance as if the horrific events occur continuously and just around the corner of a neighboring house.

Like it or not, but the tragedy of the eleventh September 2001 on terrorism has provoked speculation in the media that made parents more to think about the safety of children. Fear generates only fear and, unfortunately, the media take advantage of this by spreading more stories of abductions, intimidation, abuse of children. Nowadays, parents who allow children to walk freely, to travel, ride a bike and explore the world, condemn and criticize other parents. They are considered irresponsible and bad parents who put their children at risk, but not the parents who develop the child's independence.

 Excessive parental care: helpful or harmful?

What is excessive parental care

There is a myth that in order for children to be happy, you need to protect them from any unpleasant or sad events, that is constantly defending them from the huge and terrible the world. That is why so many parents drive their children to school, even if it is not needed. Many parents also take decisions. And the problems are solved by parents, too. They also bear the consequences of the mistakes committed by the child. The problem of excessive guardianship is most common in affluent families.

 Excessive parental care: helpful or harmful?

What are the consequences

Children who experienced the excessive parental care grow up spoiled, insecure people with low self-esteem and fear of their own decisions and try something new. Children who are frightened of responsibility, tend to blame others, they are often cowardly and humble or arrogant, and arrogant. These children are considered to be emotionally immature for his age group.

 Excessive parental care: helpful or harmful?

How to get rid of the habit of excessive take care of their children

The excess of parental care depends on the parents' level of confidence in himself as well as the confidence in the world around them. Parents who allow children to make their own decisions, allocate them a lot of free time to play and to study the outside world, confident. They are optimistic, cheerful and have fun better than sad. Such parents honestly tell children about accidents and tragedies that happen around that allows children to learn how to face life with confidence and self-assess such events. As soon as you notice that your child begins to move you make decisions, plan their time, experiences and challenges - it's time to stop to take care of it.

Many schools, unfortunately, support the media in the spread of horror stories, so parents initially be difficult to change the habitual behavior.

You can also become a victim of the pressure of other parents who are not going to change his point of view, and will be afraid of your. This can mean one thing - you will have some time to be in the minority.

On the other hand, you can share your view and your friends invite children to walk or ride bikes to school together.

Place the edge of laziness and change the daily routine so that your child will feel independent and responsible. Give him a chance to make mistakes and encourage the manifestation of nature. Believe in your child and make him believe in himself. Be responsive parents - empathize your children, help them, because you will not control them, but it would not be a manifestation of excessive care. If notice of a return to the old habit - parental care, stop and let the child grow, develop, explore, plan, create, learn, make mistakes, fall and get up.

Article Tags:
  • parenting styles

Sexual child's behavior normal, anxiety and aggressive

May 29, 2012

 the child's sexual behavior is normal anxiety aggressive
 Along with the physical and emotional development of children also demonstrate sexual behavior that is a normal part of growing up. Sexual development of children develop differently, and most of these displays are perfectly natural and normal.

But sometimes the child's behavior may be unusual, disturbing or even harmful to himself or others. How should I treat the child's behavior - as normal, anxious or aggressive - depending on age and situation. This short guide is designed to help you decide whether or not to worry about the behavior of a child or adolescent, as well as supporting a possible strategy of behavior in identifying problems.

 Sexual child's behavior normal, anxiety and aggressive

The phases of sexual development

In the sexual development of the child are the following phases:

  • childhood (preschool age);
  • primary school age;
  • dopubertatnogo age;
  • adolescence.

Each phase of development characterized by certain behaviors that are the norm (ie, corresponds to the age of the child), but also normal if the child exhibits sexual behavior that corresponds to the previous or next age group.

If a child has learning difficulties or behavioral difficulties, it is important to take into account the stage of development at which it is located.

The manifestations of sexual behavior in the child cause discomfort and awkwardness in many adults. They are lost and do not know how to react. Our judgments depend on age, gender, personal experience, are formed on the basis of cultural traditions, religious philosophy and profession.

The manifestations of sexual behavior that are typical of each developmental stage

Pre-school age (from 0 to 4 years)

  • baby kissing and / or other hugs;
  • child shows curiosity about the human body, considering the private parts of others;
  • the child says about the intimate parts of the body;
  • child freely and without hesitation uses words such as "Kaka", "ass", "pisya";
  • child playing "house" or "doctor";
  • child shows touches or rubs own genitals;
  • child sometimes masturbate to calm down.

 Sexual child's behavior normal, anxiety and aggressive

Younger school age (5 to 9 children)

  • baby kissing and / or other hugs;
  • child shows curiosity about the human body, especially the opposite sex;
  • Child sometimes uses obscene words or words with a sexual meaning;
  • child playing "house" or "doctor";
  • child sometimes shows others their own genitals to children or adults;
  • child sometimes masturbate to calm down.
  • Dopubertatnogo age (from 10 to 12 years)
  • baby kisses, hugs, gently touching the other;
  • child shows curiosity about the human body, examines nudity, including on the Internet;
  • child touches the genitals of other children;
  • child masturbates.

 Sexual child's behavior normal, anxiety and aggressive

Adolescence (13 to 16 years)

  • a child asks direct questions about intimate relationships and sexual behavior;
  • Child uses sexually suggestive language (including the foul) and discuss sex with their peers;
  • considering child nudity;
  • child masturbates in secret;
  • the child begins to sexual experimentation with peers.

For children of any age normally play games with sexual connotations, to experiment and to take an interest in one's own body and the bodies of other children.

However, this behavior may be cause for concern if:

  • the child's behavior does not correspond to the age / stage of development;
  • the child knows about sex far more than would be expected at his age;
  • the child's sexual behavior affects children much older / younger than him;
  • child forced to what he wants to do;
  • behavior continues for a long time or become more serious;
  • sexual behavior accompanied by a display of power, aggression, manipulation or deceit;
  • Sexual behavior affects other areas of a child's life, such as his performance at school, or social interaction with other children;
  • sexual behavior is compulsive.

 Sexual child's behavior normal, anxiety and aggressive

What to do if you are concerned about the child's sexual behavior

Calmly talk with your child and ask him about what happened. Sometimes children do not realize that certain behavior is permissible only in an intimate setting, with no outsiders, rather than in public. Also, the child may not understand that his behavior offends or hurts other children. Sometimes children are ashamed to talk about anything related to sex, or worry that the "naughty" and will be punished, so your tone and manner of communication is very important.

Sometimes words child may alert you - listen carefully, perhaps he has seen, or a victim of sexual violence.

Article Tags:
  • puberty child