- Parenting after divorce: the difficulties faced by
- Joint participation
No one comes down the aisle with the idea of divorce. This is a unique and romantic event often marred by reflections on litigation guardianship and financial issues. However, a divorce "cases" was then, when you least expect it. And misery is not only the couple but also the children who are afraid and do not know what to expect when their family is falling apart. So what can you do? When the divorce suddenly sneaked into your house, how can calm the children? How to protect their childhood as they respond to direct questions and in the end, to help them move on in life? It is not an easy task, but you can help your children gradually.
- Take care of yourself: as a single parent, it is important you have a couple of trusted friends, in which you can expect to establish for themselves the spatial framework and priorities.
- Help your child to calm down: listen to their fears, share their problems.
- Give children the opportunity to be children: the temptation to turn to the child for comfort, but it hurts the hearts of the young and the children grow up quickly.
- Be ready to direct questions: Be prepared that your child asks you a question that can hurt you deeply, but you should not give up. Take a deep breath, sit down together and talk heart to heart.
- Believe in the future: all single parents are worried about their child and, in particular, that the same fate may befall him. As soon as you calm the children, see that history need not be repeated.
Take care of yourself
Shortly after the divorce, the mother or father raising a child alone, find that their lives have changed, and peace in the house no longer exists. Sometimes the days when you do not want to live, and only felt tired.
Many people need peace of mind and the world need to acquire. At first, it seems an impossible task. But step by step, you will notice a change for the better. As you begin to control the main areas of your life, the world will come back to you.
Look for like-minded people
One option would be to visit the group therapy sessions, once or twice a week.
Another option could serve as conversations with other single parents. Together with other people experiencing the same feelings, a lot easier to deal with problems.
If you do not know how to find people like you, contact the psychological support or to the church (if you are religious), and ask it about a group of single parents. If such a group does not exist, create your own. Invite single parents attending your meeting in an informal setting a couple of times a month. So you can find a lot of friends who understand your suffering and will support you.
Do not neglect your needs
If you often fly a plane, you probably are familiar with the following statement: "If the cabin pressure began to fall, and you're flying with a child, the first thing put on the oxygen mask on yourself and then at him."
Such an approach is also applicable to single parents. If you relax a little, overdo or ill, the care of children is incredibly hard. You hardly worried day and just exist. You need to relax, eat and fully engaged in fitness.
Sometimes it is very difficult to find time to exercise, especially if you have a busy schedule, but will learn to combine playing with children and sports. Walk with the children for a walk, roller-skating, dance under the video. All this will allow you to avoid stress
How to beat stress? Create an oasis
and deliver a lot of fun.
Learn to say "no"
In a world that is flying relentlessly forward, we sprayed all at once, and teach our children to this. If you take on too much, the risk of stress increases to the same tranquility you can not see. You must learn how to distribute classes between you and your children.
Many parents lead kids on basketball, and soccer, and piano lessons that tires of all family members. Individually, all of these classes are very useful, but if too many of them, fatigue takes its toll. Each member of the family need time to rest, so do not do not get carried away.
Watch out for the budget
To safely handle the finances, you need to control costs. Statistics warn that many families are suffering because of the extravagance.
If you give your child the opportunity to save money on the things he needed, both on the road and on everyday purchases, you will soon notice the effectiveness of this method of saving. Moreover, you will not hear the phrase, "Mommy, Mommy, please, please ...! "When your children save money, it will allow you to save about 40% on low-cost purchases and 50% - on the road. Moreover, the child will not be allowed to spend money on stuff until it collects a certain amount that they need.
Organize a family vacation
Without a doubt, single parents spend a lot of time with the kids, but it often happens that parents are busy at work, and the children spend time in the classroom, in shops or at home.
One embodiment of the union of all family members for one occupation - the introduction of a common family evening. So, every Thursday you can spend time together - playing your favorite games and have fun with the kids. If the weather is good, you can arrange a walk in the park. Time spent together strengthens family relationships.
Sorry ex-husband / wife
This is the most difficult task. If you want to find inner peace, you must forgive my father or mother of your children. Anger and unforgiveness "eat" you from the inside, and for a single parent is simply unacceptable.
Do you suffer every day and feel deprived of something important? Prioritize, choose exercises and practices that will help you change. Start slowly, with the most basic, and do not forget that everything is in your hands.