The first thing you need to do to cope with the challenge - to stop suffering and start troubleshooting. Broke up the marriage - is no exception. Of course, the rift in your relationship with my wife has a lot of hidden psychological causes, but their detection and analysis you can do later. Now you have to cease to be those to whom your wife, like other women, biologically predisposed not to feel sympathy and even more attraction. That is, stop being weak, passive, and too obedient and ready for anything. For reasons originating in biology and evolution, women are looking for a strong man who can protect them. And men do not respect women who forgive them everything.

Most affected people who do not like to "play games." But you know what? You are participating in the game, even if you did not give the consent, do not know and do not want to know its rules. Men and women unconsciously constantly check each other that if I got a partner, he is strong enough, he will stand it? And this is? Whether you like it or not, you have to be a player, and if so, it is better to be strong.

And it's not as difficult as you think. It is necessary to do only ten errors.

Error №1. Trying to be too nice and accommodating, and believe that it will help

How many times have you heard that girls (and women, and your wife, too) like bad guys, yet realized the meaning of this statement? Or have not realized?

You can not just agree with everything that says a wife and expect that you will have a great relationship. Do not believe? Look from this point of view in each of interesting stories there is a conflict, right? In "Star Wars" is the good and evil forces, family dramas and melodramas, too, always something restless.

Conflict creates interest. If the relationship does not have conflict, everyone gets bored. Being too nice is to be passive, insecure, anxious and predictable. It's boring.

And that's not it. The conflict provides an opportunity to develop. There is no conflict - no questions - no answers and discoveries - no development. Again, boring.

Do you want that in your relationship was the spark? And you need that a spark? Friction ... Draw your own conclusions.

Error №2. I am trying to convince his wife to return, using logical arguments

You do not save a marriage by means of logic. You can find logical reasons for divorce, but in the opposite direction, this method is not working. You can not convince a person to feel sympathy for you, love you, want to be with you. Emotion and Logic - different phenomena.

Rather than try to persuade his wife to return, you need to do something that will cause her emotional response. Declaration of love, laid out candles or balloons, reference to it on radio or television, a flock of pigeons, released into the air when it comes out of the house, or ... Be creative and implement.

Error №3. Pretend to be a pad feet

How many people begged her favorite: "Please stay, I'll do anything you want ..." Do not do it. Most likely, then she immediately lose respect for you. And if not - you pobudet some time errand boy, a cook and cleaner, and a couple of months it will cease to respect you. And at the first opportunity would prefer someone strong.

And maybe a third option - you arrange it as an obedient householder. How long will you fulfill all her whims? As soon as the stop - it rightfully say that you have deceived her, and again from you leave. And if you continue to be a "manual", you lose self-esteem. In any case, there will be nothing good. So never beg his wife to come back.

Error №4. Showered his wife with flowers and gifts

Ever heard that love can not be bought? With flowers and gifts to express the sympathy of well, gratitude and love, but not to restore relations. In fact, it might scare. Whatever you think about his gifts, they are betraying your wife the following message: I'm not good enough to take me and love for my dignity, so I buy for the money that should attract it. Even if she likes what you give her, it does not return her feelings for you.

Error №5. Every five minutes, repeating "I love you"

Fall into this trap is very easy, because many people believe that as soon as his wife will understand how much you love her, she immediately gladly come back to you. It is a misconception. It is not nearly like the truth. "I really love you" - not what he wants to hear from you ex-wife. She needs to see that you are doing. For your life together, she must have heard from you a lot of nice words, they are now able to bring her back.

Error №6. Forget about the attractiveness

Too many people completely forget that you need to attract the opposite sex, making what would attract them or just like them - other words, people of the same sex.

No, it's not that you are gay or behave as gay. Just men and women tend to be attracted to different things. For example, men in women often like appearance, women in men - personality. Of course, important to you, and the identity of the woman, but for her matter what you look like, but we're talking about what attracts the average person the most. So when going to a meeting with his ex-wife in the first place do not think about the costume and hairstyle, and that will say and do. And take care of that body language does not contradict your words.

When the pair only met, everyone expects their finances. But now people are starting to live together, and one of the most difficult problems is budgeting. Plan the family budget is not so simple: because such planning should be as efficient as possible and to meet the needs of all family members.

What is the family budget

Family budget - is more than a list of income and expenses. It is no secret that the financial dispute - one of the most frequent causes of divorce. People can not agree on how to make money and how to spend money. And the inability to find a compromise solution leads to the fact that the loving couple splits.

Parting can be avoided if before beginning to consider the future of marriage and the family budget come to a solution that satisfies both sides. So, you need to discuss in advance whether a budget joint, shared or separate; who is responsible for finance; as a couple will come if income or expenses change increase.

Together or separately?

The joint budget is the most common. The essence of this method of distribution of money is that all income of spouses are added together, the pair together to decide how the money will be spent within a certain time (usually - one calendar month). This way of doing the budget allows the couple to feel unity: both are equal partners together to plan all expenses. The income may be different, but the money is still being spent together. For example, this happens when the wife devotes his time to care for a child, and her husband has all the family.

If the budget together, the couple can be hard to give each other gifts. In addition, if one partner is different extravagance and another stingy, inevitable family quarrels over money.

Equity or co-separate budget is also quite common. In such a family, the couple put in a common fund only part of the money, while the remaining income they spend on your own. From the "general" of money paid, for example, utility bills and food, and to "own" the money the couple can have fun, make each other gifts or organize some surprises.

An equity budget is very convenient, if the spouses have approximately the same level of income, otherwise the possibility of serious disagreements. Many also believe that the budget assumes a shared distrust of the spouse.

Separate budget - the choice of independent people. This method of distribution of family assets is small enough common, because if people live together, they will almost certainly any joint expenses. But mostly separate budget independent software requires its own needs. If one of the spouses of their available funds run out, he can borrow money from a partner and be sure to repay the loan within the specified period.

Separate budget allows spouses to full independence from each other and significantly reduces the likelihood of conflict over money. But the proximity of a pair of separate budget suffers too - there is no feeling of one family, one team, there is no common financial problems, there is no overall financial goals.

Who is responsible for the money

Another important question: who in the family is responsible for financial matters. Despite the fact that most people dream of a democratic peer relationships, in practice, only one member of the family has the right to vote. As a rule, a person who earns more, but possible options. For example, the final word may be the one who is better versed in the needs of the family, and better able to assess the need of certain expenses.

If finances wholly owns only one spouse, his partner may feel uncomfortable: he had to literally beg for money to meet some of their needs, and to give a detailed report on their spending. Yet this method of financial management can be useful in some situations, for example if one of the pair - spender or does not know how to manage money. In any case, from the "chief accountant" in the family need to beat: do not revel in their power over the partner and his dependents.

It is much more convenient option when the spouses jointly make decisions about any major expenditure, but everyone is entitled to a casting vote in the area that is closest to it. For example, the wife is responsible for cooking, planning costs for the products, and a husband who understands construction, calculates how much the repair will cost. Better to indicate the amount of expenses that need to be discussed with a partner to further quarrels arose on this occasion.

How to Budget

Many couples are faced with a situation that money somewhere mysteriously go, although no major purchases is not made. Fixing all the income and expenditure reveals the "black holes" in the budget, which goes completely unnoticed large sums. As a rule, the results of research are unexpected: a lot of money is spent on small things, without which it is possible to do. Sometimes it is enough to give up these little things to find the money for a large purchase and necessary.

The most convenient way to keep a record of expenses by using special accounting software designed for home use. These programs allow you to draw graphs and charts, so that the picture becomes clearer. Usually quite a few months to write down all your income and expenses to see on what can and should be saved, and what better to allocate more money for planning costs for the next month. It is better if these decisions based on a thorough analysis will be taken jointly by the family council.