Childhood - a time of constant change and attempts to adapt to them. Preschool and school children of younger age scare happening to them change, it causes stress How to beat stress? Create an oasis   and a variety of forms of reaction, including - children's whims.

When the children cry at his younger brother or sister, slams the door, say hurtful things parents - it's often a veiled cry for help, but the child can not admit it even to himself. Typically, children begin whims about three years, and the offensive end of adolescence Transitional age - the period of emotional turmoil . Mood swings, a protest against anything, dissatisfaction with themselves and others at teenagers not called caprices, because of all this there are objective reasons - the sharp fluctuations in hormonal levels, changes in body perception, the emergence of mass psychological problems. No wonder, if because of this people sometimes lose control.

A young child or preschooler reasons to be upset, it seems, is not - he still cloudless, carefree childhood, which is necessary to enjoy and when the baby does not behave in the best way, they say that he whim.

Causes of childhood whims

In fact, the life of young children is not as rosy as it seems. Of course, it should be great to sleep for twelve hours a day, eat cooked food for you, and all the free time to devote to games. However, in two years, children go through a personal crisis: they have just learned to walk and use a variety of tools, and strive as much as possible to explore the world, and at the same time, they are afraid that it may detect. Finally, they are afraid of the idea that the parents, whom they trust so as never to trust anyone will not suddenly disappear somewhere. In addition, parents sometimes behave strangely. From time to time they make a child to do something against his will, and is sometimes very hard say "no" - from the perspective of the child, they do it just like that.

Even if you gently justifies its ban ("No, dear, do not need to take this knife for cutting meat, you can cut yourself"), two year old child still does not understand what you are doing it for the sake of his safety. Because it makes the parents - the people, whom he loves very much, and who trust - the refusal may be perceived as a sign that the child does not like. It causes fear and often leads to the whims - the child is not so much want to get the knife, how to make sure that it is still expensive to their parents. This logic may seem strange, but because the children really do not think like adults. The pain felt by children in situations comparable to that experienced by adults who changes the favorite person.

When a child is three or four years, he begins to realize that his parents will not abandon, no matter what happens, and the reasons are the whims of others. At this age the child already understands that he - not a single entity with the parents, and begins to strive to fulfill their own desires. When it does not work (you refuse to buy a child a toy for the fifteenth month, or try to put him to bed too early - in his opinion), he begins to protest. More often than not the whims of that age are accompanied to spreading anything that comes to hand, and even aggression against others. The reason for this is quite simple. If an adult, with its advanced speech, words can explain the reason for his anger, the child it is not capable of, and uses the skills developed in his best - large motor skills.

In addition, young children are still not well developed frontal lobe of the brain - areas that are responsible for planning, logical thinking, memory and self-control. Therefore, children are literally living in the moment and not thinking about the consequences, can throw glass on the wall (or in person), grab the dog by the tail, and so on.

Poorly functioning frontal lobes are also responsible for the fact that in children there is practically no sense of time, and the call to be patient and wait for them - almost empty phrase. They want the cake, which will bake for another half hour, right now, and do not want to wait a couple of hours until the rain will pass, and you can go for a walk.

You should not consider himself a bad parent if your kids act up - as long as it is extremely difficult to behave differently.

How to cope with children's whims

• Do not pay too much attention

Warning adults only fuels the whims of children, and sometimes leads to hysteria. If a child acts up, go about their business for a while and give it to yourself. Gradually he calmed down, and even to draw some conclusions from the situation.

• Do not buy good behavior

Many parents are tempted to take the path of least resistance, and yield to the requirements of the children to stop whims. They stop, but only temporarily. Some time later, the child starts to act up again, this time with a clear purpose - to get what you want.

• Find a child activity

Sometimes the cause of the vagaries of becoming bored. Carried away the child something - for example, drawing or sports, that in his life there is no room for boredom.

• Distract the child

If your child is prone to the vagaries of, try to switch his attention. Play music, sing him a lullaby Lullabies: universal hypnotic Give him an interesting toy - many children quickly forget about their problems when their attention seizes a new object.

• Walk with your child

Shortage of fresh air could be one reason for the capricious behavior. Walk with the child for a walk every day, rain or shine; Exceptions are possible only in the days when he is ill.

Many women dream about a girl, but the mother of boys claim that does not regret that it was not possible to nurse her daughter. What a good boy, and what features of education "real men"?

Many women are waiting for their first child, dreaming about the girl, and imagine how they podnesut snuffling pink bundle, they are agukat with the baby as raschuvstvuetsya happy father when he first takes on his hands daughter ... But the fate of surprises - and instead of a girl born a boy .

Some expectant mothers are so convinced that a girl wearing a heart that even keep a diary, which begins with the treatment, "my daughter." When the US at the twentieth week shows that a woman is born a boy, she was very surprised about half a second. In fact, the child's gender does not matter, the main thing - that he was born and grew up healthy and happy. Oddly enough, but to be reconstructed with a dream about a girl waiting for a boy is a snap.

Why do women want girls

Psychologists say that the desire to have a child may be the result of your relationship with her mother. Perhaps you have a very close relationship, my mother for you - the best friend, and you want to experience the same emotional bond with his daughter. Or, conversely, your relationship with your mother is far from ideal, and you see her daughter a chance to correct mistakes made by your own mother in your upbringing.

It is natural for a child to dream of your gender, but we must understand that your ideas about the future of the kid - it is a projection of your expectations. Even if you really a girl, she may surprise you, being not at all the person you represent. Do not try to alter her daughter, cherish her individuality and uniqueness.

According to psychology, health education is the desire to raise a child. Dot. The fact that you were never a boy, does not mean you can not raise it. Try to give the child as much love, and it will fill in all the gaps in education in accordance with the innate quality, environment and social expectations. Practicing gentle, friendly, respectful attitude towards the child, mother strengthens its positive sense of self, a sense of the "I", which, in turn, enables the child to be more personal activity, initiative, interest in the development of the world. By the way, do not impose on the child too high expectations, or psychological discomfort prevent him develop into a full-fledged personality. This applies to both boys and girls.

Beauty relationship of mother and son

You may be surprised at the reaction of its own son. Do not underestimate the Oedipus myth and history of the special relationship between mother and son. You have a unique opportunity to create a subtle sense of identity, to grow a good, responsible and sociable man. Many women dream of an ideal - a perfect husband, perfect child - but you have to love is not ideal, but the fact that they still have - a healthy baby. Mother puts the boy in his understanding of life, understanding of the relationship between man and woman, and then the man subconsciously looking for a wife, similar to mother. Against men with women somehow reflect his love for his mother.

Moreover, some women are so "a taste" that, having given birth to a son and dream about the boys, after all, surrounded by loving men, any woman feel like a queen, and the children are very attached to his mother.

When the family, which already grows several sons, a girl is born, the parents have the opportunity to trace the development of children of both sexes, to understand what they are similar than different. For example, girls are more sensitive to pain than boys. Many mothers have probably noticed that boys are much more stoically tolerate the growth of teeth than girls. However, the girls more complex, they often are more demanding and do not want to share their parents' attention.

The differences of temperament boys and girls

Moms of boys often complain of restlessness, disobedience and very active nature of the sons and mothers of girls say that daughter grow calm, friendly and independent. If boys and girls suddenly stopped in their development somewhere in the four to five years, the differences between them would be enormous, but with age they are smoothed. Boys and girls are transformed into individuals with individual characteristics and personal qualities, it does not depend on gender. Every child is unique, and it is impossible to say who is easier to bring up, boys or girls, because the floor - this is not the only defining characteristic of humans.