Parenting style and temperament of the child: how to find a compromise

With the birth of the child's parents' life changing. From the very first day of its life, they have to make decisions: artificial or breast-feeding; open or closed carriage; babysitting or daycare, go to work or stay at home and to educate ... The list goes on. When the child grows and matures, the solutions do not stop, and only change: school, food, pocket money, school activities, peer relationships, holidays. Although the decision of the individual daily dilemmas very important role in shaping a child's personality plays a parental parenting style and attitude. Being a parent is interesting, but a little scary: what if you make a mistake? So much to know, so many important decisions to take.

What is the family parenting style?

As well known to all parents, parenting - a difficult task, in this case there is no simple answers and simple solutions. The combination of many specific actions and attitudes of parents, as well as a number of other factors that affect the development of the child. Family parenting style - a combination of targeted actions of parents, and not a single act.

The types of parenting styles

For the first time parenting styles were identified and described psychologist Diana Baumrind in 1960. Baumrind and other researchers studied the qualities that most people would like to see in their children: independence, maturity, self-reliance, self-control, curiosity, friendliness and result orientation. Researchers then interviewed the parents of children who have these qualities to establish which elements of the training have contributed to their development. They identified two important components of education:

• responsiveness or warmth and support,
• rigor and control behavior (discipline).

These are two key factors formed the four basic parenting styles: liberal, authoritarian, authoritative and indifferent. Each of these styles peculiar to different educational values, practices, behaviors, and the balance between the requirements and response.

• Authoritarian, or extremely strict, a style characterized by a high degree of control. Authoritarian parents dictate how their children should behave. They require unquestioning obedience and encourage discussion. They are demanding and straightforward. They expect that demand will be satisfied not encourage mutual concessions and compromise. They are distinguished by low sensitivity and do not expect resistance from children or objections.
• Authoritative or moderate style is characterized by clear limits. Parents hope that the children will learn from their own mistakes. Authoritative parents explain why rules are important and why they should be respected. They discuss with their children conflicts and consider the views of the child, even if you disagree with it. Authoritative parents are demanding, but kind, to show the child the warmth and love. They set high standards and encourage the independence and autonomy of children.
• Liberal, or indulges style is characterized by high levels of warmth and understanding from parents, but a low level of control and discipline. Permissive parents do not limit the freedom of the children, and give children the opportunity to set their own rules, schedule and choose a class. They do not make demands to the child's behavior as authoritative or authoritarian parents.
• Indifferent or unconcerned, parenting style is characterized by the laxity and parent's non. In some cases, this style of parenting also tend to neglect and alienation.

As parenting style affects the baby?

Studies have shown that the best-adapted children, especially in terms of social adaptation, increasing parents practicing authoritative parenting style .  These parents are able to combine well-defined high demands with emotional responsiveness and respect for the independence of the child .  And authoritarian and authoritative parents have high expectations for their children and monitor their behavior, but first expect that the child unquestioningly accept parental judgments, thus leaving the child for a minimum of freedom of expression .  Therefore, children of authoritarian parents tend to rely on the opinion of respected individuals, they lack spontaneity and initiative .  Authoritative parents, in contrast, provide the child with adequate freedom of expression, which contributes to the development of his sense of independence and self-confidence .  Permissive parents do not make child requirements and their children find it difficult to control their impulses so they remain infantile for a long time and do not want to take responsibility for their behavior .

Parenting styles differ from each other not only in terms of responsiveness and rigor, but also with regard to the psychological impact exerted on the child. Psychological control is an attempt to influence the psychological and emotional development of the child through such educational methods, such as: guilt, shame and deprivation of care. Authoritarian and influential parenting styles differ in the extent of psychological control.

And authoritative and influential parents are very demanding of your children, and they expect the children proper behavior and obedience to the rules. However, authoritative parents also expect that their children will take their opinions, values ​​and objectives without question. On the contrary, influential parents are more open in communicating with their children. Therefore, despite the fact that the authoritative and influential parents much control the behavior of their children, parents have influential on a child less psychological impact, in contrast to authoritarian parents.

At the beginning of the 2000s. US researchers conducted a study of the relationship between the style of child rearing Raising a child: who will win?   and its weight. Initial data were collected when the children were four and a half years, and two years later, scientists examined how their weight changed. It turned out that 11% of children, the study participants were overweight, and another 13, 4% are at risk of obesity. Children of authoritarian mothers were exposed to five times greater risk of obesity than children of authoritative mothers. Children liberal and indifferent parents are three times more at risk than children of authoritative parents. The researchers concluded that too strict upbringing can have a negative impact on the child's weight, since he does not see food as a means to stave off hunger. In such families, the parents use food to reward, force children to eat everything put on a plate, or prohibit the use of certain products.

Parenting styles and everyday dilemmas

Anya four years. She took the ball the little Lisa.

• Authoritarian parents: Come immediately and gave the ball to Lisa.
• Authoritative parents: This ball Lisa. I know you want to play with him, but why do not you ask for the ball from Lisa? Maybe you'll be able to play with him on stage?
• Liberal parents believe that Anna should be free to do as she likes, he offers no solution and does not interfere in the situation.

Roma twelve years. He wants to rent the movie with a high rating, which heard from friends.

• Authoritarian parents loses his temper and forbids Roma take any movies at the box office.
• Authoritative parents are prohibited, but helps the boy to choose a more suitable movie.
• The liberal parents allow the boy to take the interest of his film, the subjects of his persuasion.