Divorce - one of the unpleasant realities of modern life. When two people meet, fall in love, get married and have a child, often say that now their life has become full. Nevertheless, with time and under stress in modern life against two cooling often occurs and they do not want to come together. As a result, divorce, division of joint property, and children who play the role of observers.

When parents think about the separation and divorce, children experience intense emotional stress and often receive psychological trauma. Psychological effects of divorce on children have long been the object of study of psychology. Although known ways to help your child survive the divorce of their parents, to completely eliminate the effects of this event possible.

How divorce affects children

Children are afraid that after the divorce will change their lives, that Mom and Dad will no longer love them, as before. Children think about the parent with whom they stay, where to live, whether to keep in touch with friends, or they would have to completely change the social circle. Because of this uncertainty in the child a feeling of loss of control over the situation, because from it it depends nothing.

After a divorce, the parents are often corrupt relationship when they met scandals and quarrels, do not hesitate child. This tension between parents may negatively affect the mental state of the child. Sometimes children try to reconcile the parents, of course, they did not work, so the children often feel guilty. They blame themselves for the divorce of parents, believing that misbehaved or put little effort to reconcile father and mother. In addition, the children begin to doubt themselves, they do not know which of them are now parents to love more. In some severe cases, a child may begin depression Depression - a little more than a bad mood   and he goes to, or, conversely, will behave aggressively and provocatively to attract attention.

The impact of divorce on children: a psychological dimension

Children react differently to divorce. Many children have increased levels of anxiety, because they feel a sense of loneliness and loss, they think of their father or mother was thrown. Regardless of the relationship between parents, divorce is somehow reflected in the emotional state of the children.

Here are some of the psychological effects of divorce on children:

• children think that parents are not like them, they feel abandoned and useless;
• when children realize that their parents are no longer together, they feel a sense of helplessness and powerlessness;
• Even if children do not show anger and aggression, many of them have a strong destructive emotions Emotions and culture: how to decipher the emotional code ;
• Children often feel guilty for what happened, believing that it is their behavior led to a parting of parents;
• In addition, children feel guilty for what continue to love both parents equally, though still with mom or dad.

The impact of divorce on children: behavioral aspects

The behavior of the child after the divorce may experience a variety of changes associated with stressful experiences How to beat stress? Create an oasis   and undergoing psychological trauma, including sleep disorders Dreams: how to understand our dreams   (insomnia), aggression (violence towards animals or other children), destructive addiction (alcohol and drugs), even suicide attempts.

When parents divorce, it is also possible the child's regressive behavior (psychological defense, expressed in a return to childish, childlike behaviors), when he can not sleep without a favorite toy, crying, when frightened, always in need of praise and approval. The signs of regressive behavior is bedwetting, and the emergence of nervous habits.

The child may be tearful, moody, require constant attention. During this period, parents need to understand the behavior of the child, because it requires a greater emotional care.

Many children feel they have to take care of their divorced parents, so they assume the role of a friend and confidant. The belief that the child's mind is very mobile, and the child will easily survive the divorce of their parents - a dangerous delusion. In fact, most children need the support of parents and other loved ones to go through and make changes in their lives.

  How like a girl, care of almost all the young people who came out of childhood. Of course, there are some universal key to a girl's heart. Yet the knowledge of some simple techniques greatly simplifies the task of conquering your favorite girl. In addition, it is important to avoid some of the mistakes that sometimes permit men.

They are afraid of everything

Traditionally, men have to be more proactive in relations, including when meeting than women. On the one hand, it is very convenient - much more comfortable than just sit back and passively wait for favors from a girl. On the other hand, the more activity - the greater the probability of failure.

Failures are unpleasant for everyone. But one man, if she turned him down, can plunge into a depression Depression - a little more than a bad mood   and to hate the whole world, and another five minutes to mourn, and to continue the search. Of course, the chance of a great familiarity far more for those who belong to the failures calmly.

It is impossible to please absolutely everyone - do not even try to do it. The man who tries to please everyone you meet looks sorry for: the unnatural behavior and obsequiousness produce very unpleasant impression. Therefore it is very important advance to accept the fact that elicit sympathy at all possible.

The ability to safely treat the failure rate is very important. A man who does not want to, no matter what was to please everyone, behave naturally, calm and confident. And, paradoxically, as a result of love if not all, almost everything.

First impression

According to psychologists, the opinion of the person is formed in the first three minutes of conversation with him. Of course, then this view can vary, but often those who do not like it at first glance, just do not give a chance to prove himself. And that means that you must immediately make a favorable impression.

Regular features, sports figure, clothes prestigious brands and an expensive car, of course, does not interfere. But there is a chance, and those who do not have such cards. In most cases, look neat and stylish. Under precision implies normal good hygiene: how little girls like guys who smell from the mouth, and his clothes covered with a crust of mud.

As of style, this concept is interpreted in different ways. But usually to appear stylish enough to properly combine the articles of clothing (such as leather jacket looks good with jeans, but the suit is not very suitable) and use interesting accessories. The latter include expensive electronic gadgets, notebook prestigious firms and even casually around the neck crocked bright scarf - the main thing to wear it all with confidence. Particular attention should be given to shoes that many women believe that she will tell a lot about a man. It is desirable that the shoes were expensive and well groomed.

Ability to communicate

To please a girl, is not enough to look attractive. Much more important is the ability to communicate. It is advisable to have in reserve a few amusing stories on interesting topics for the girls - for example, celebrity, fashion or some fascinating journeys. It is advisable to avoid stories about the terms and boring, but the ability to vividly narrate must constantly hone.

Speaking about himself, it is desirable to avoid the obsessive self-promotion. Much more impressive are hints in between times - they are sure to be appreciated. If you are constantly praising yourself, you can easily earn the title of a braggart and windbag.

Usually the girls themselves quite talkative and does not like to be the interlocutor of bottled nightingale, not letting them get a word in. Therefore it is better to avoid monologues and constantly engage the girl in conversation. It is advisable to ask questions that can be answered in monosyllables. In addition, it is useful to encourage the interlocutor to talk about themselves. This story should be accompanied by enthusiastic comments.

Compliments do not happen, and you should not skimp on them. But the compliments should ring true. Most of the girls are already fed up with listening to the standard praise their eyes and figures. But the guy who appreciated the elegance of their wrists and shoulders beauty, is bound to cause concern. It is advisable to praise precisely those parts of the image over which the girl obviously worked: for example, it is interesting chosen accessories. Such a compliment Compliments and their meaning: do not mistake the words   It will certainly be perceived favorably.

Not only the right thing to say: you have to at the same time to behave correctly. This means you must smile, eye contact, and in every way to show kindness and sympathy. But it is in any case should not behave obsequiously fawning and - it will cause nothing but contempt.

Intrigue

In a conversation with you like a girl should refrain from banal phrases. This applies not only compliments and questions. Tactless remark, too, will not cause sympathy. It is undesirable to use in communication and so-called "home-made" - supposedly universal phrase that can conquer any. Such phrases sound very artificial and cause only irritation. Where better to improvise, even based on the same proven phrases.

Usually the girls want to look sexy as possible, but they can not tolerate vulgar allusions. It is necessary to pay tribute to an attractive girl, but to do so should be as thin as possible. It is important that she felt flattered, but not nervous because of the fact that it seemed to her that her safety is threatened.

Of great importance in dealing with the girl has intrigue. By demonstrating goodwill, we should not still be too predictable - otherwise she will quickly lose interest. Meaningful hints and pause necessarily interested in the girl, and she was willing to continue the dialogue in order to solve the mystery of a guy who behaves mysteriously.

Maria Bykov