The crisis of three years, perhaps known to all. His way or another, every child is going through. One he goes more smoothly, and the other so that all the neighbors know. It is not necessary, of course, any deviation from the norm considered as a manifestation of the crisis, but it can not be underestimated. It is better to examine the reasons that lead to the development of the crisis three years The crisis of three years - the period of the formation of personality And go through it with your child with a minimum of psychological turmoil, from both the child and with the parents.

Psycho-physiological characteristics of the crisis three years

For three years in a child is an accumulation of a significant amount of knowledge about the world, but he does not know how to systematize them, so it does seem, if not chaos, it really is exactly welter. The child begins to identify with older people and imitate them, proving its independence. There is a favorite expression of "I myself! ".

Many psychologists call a crisis of three years of "rehearsal" adolescent crisis. Analogies really is: in this and in another case, a man opens up a world of new relationships. In three years - is the interaction with people from the circle of family, friends, kindergarten. Each contact with a new person leads the series of discoveries: for example, when a child says hello, the man nods, smiles the other, the third turns - action on the part of the child is the same, but the reaction of the people is different. How hard is it to understand! The child did not blame the man who turned instead to say hello, and himself. In general, always a child has an inner desire to be good and to please their parents. If an event does not lead to the result that awaits the child - it decreases self-esteem, develop a sense of inferiority. Scream at this age is a cry for help, turned to the world.

How does the crisis of three years

The crisis of three years, like all crises, develops suddenly. Yesterday, the child was calm and obedient, but today was a real rebel. His protest he expressed rapidly and quietly, for any reason: not fulfilling the request of parents, do "the opposite", "can not hear" speech addressed to him. Moreover, he may begin to beat their parents yell at them - it does not mean that he no longer loves them, he just checks his place in life. To understand the logic of the world it operates empirically, constantly expanding the range of their "want", "give" and "could."

On the other hand, the child is committed to independence. He wants to dress and undress, wash dishes and floor, there are not only using the spoons, and forks, knife. Often his actions are wrong, slow and sloppy: cleaning the floor with a sponge for dishes or wear shoes on the wrong feet, puts food from a plate on the table and there trying to pick up her fork. The child does not vrednichaet - he experiments and optimize the process. And we can agree that it is more convenient for small hands to wash the floor with a sponge for dishes than a large cloth, less food on the tablecloth slides and shoes worn on the foot - that is, all the goals are fulfilled.

How to survive the crisis of three years

To help your child survive the crisis of three years should always be on his side. Do not indulge, do not go at it on occasion, but do not respond to any act of the child immediately, you first need to think about what it is called and respond only taking into account all causes. For example: the child wears long - no need to rush and blame - should be commended for what he himself does, and gently suggest how you can wear the thing faster. If the child is laid out food from a plate - you need to ask why he did it and react in accordance with its answer. The child should feel that parents are always by his side, sympathy, help and understand. Then the crisis of three years will turn into a fascinating process of exploring the world and systematize the acquired knowledge in which parents act as conductors child into the world of the unknown.

Svetlana Shimkovich

Children grow and change, and with them are changing, and their fears. The monsters living under the bed, a thunderstorm, a loud strange noise or darkness will no longer cause the child to run to my mother and seek her protection. The most common phobias in children of school age: the fear of being kidnapped, fear of parents' divorce, fear of death, fear of fire, thieves, fear to fail the exams and fear of being loyal friends.

Analysis of the situation

Psychologists say that children are difficult to separate anxiety Anxiety - how to distinguish normal from disease?   because of fear. Fear - is a reaction to certain factors, internal or external stimulus (such as a neighbor's dog), while anxiety - a concern because that has not happened yet, and may never happen (for example, an earthquake or attack aliens). When parents understand that it hurts their child - fear or anxiety - they will be able to help him cope with this problem.

• The most important thing - to take seriously the child's fear, acknowledge its existence. If you talk about fear as something real and natural, the child ceases to erect it into a cult. But beware: be careful not to pass the child their own fears and not be intimidated him even more. If the child does not want to talk about their fears and phobias, ask him to tell or write about them in the form of a fairy tale, in which the protagonist deals with fearless monster of fear (the story can be and draw).
• Get rid of the fears often helps logical analysis of reality and a plan of action. For example, with your child, you can figure out what to do if the dog will approach too close to him. If the child is afraid of the dentist, play with him on the eve of a visit to the dentist in the dental office. Try to make sure that your child is accustomed to fear. The more independent the child - the better it is to cope with their fears.
• Learn to recognize the disturbing behavior of a child, to give him a quick help. Some children experience fear and anxiety deep inside. Other such experiences translate into disobedience, bad behavior, sleep disorders Dreams: how to understand our dreams , Headaches or stomach pain.
• Find a balance between care and total control. The child should feel secure, but does not have to rely on parents and hold parent skirt. He must remain calm one. Of course, the duty of parents - to protect the child from unpleasant situations, but should not be deprived of its ability to fill their own bumps and learn from their mistakes.

If the child's fears and anxiety prevented him from leading a normal life, seek help from a professional psychologist or therapist.

Stress at home

Many parents ask themselves: how children affect used methods of education? Not everyone has the time and the possibility of the "right" to bring up children. Often in the morning we wake up a child is not sweet words and shouting: "Get up! Hurry! Going to school (garden)! I'm late for work, and you need to hurry. Faster breakfast, get dressed and go! "

Fears of parents are well founded. Children almost from the cradle to get used to the crazy rhythm of life and the constant rush. Home and family are often a source of stress for the child How to beat stress? Create an oasis He can feel throughout life. Since the source of the problem is a home and family, its solution is to be found in them the same. The behavior of the parents, their relationship to each other and to the child largely determine his future life, his values ​​and priorities.

Modern parents are forced to work long hours, they are constantly busy and pay little attention to children. We do not encourage quit work or stop doing household chores, leaving a mountain of unwashed dishes and dirty laundry. We just want to remind you how important it is to find time to socialize and relax with the family.

It is not necessary to do everything in a hurry, on adrenaline. In everyday life, too often we spend nerves, effort and energy on things that do not require it. In addition, in the excited state is simply dangerous to drive a car, and then relax uneasy.

Some emotions Emotions and culture: how to decipher the emotional code   stimulates the release of adrenaline: anger, resentment, anger, resentment. Do not bring home with irritation and anger - the children very sharply react to them.

If you feel irritated at the thought of what awaits you at home cleaning or unwashed dishes, think about something else, and set up home affairs until calms down. Returning home, hug a child, ask how his day, play with him in the "Monopoly", look TV together - in other words, pay attention to him. Believe me, the baby will be very happy with the change in your behavior, and it is sure to affect his emotional health.