Five child restraint techniques tantrums

Remember, you know your child well

You know that it tires. You know how to help him. And you know what the situation upset the child. Prepare it before it will be in a new environment. Say: "If you feel that you're tired, let me know. We will rest. Good? If you're upset and feel that they no longer stand up, tell me and we'll go home. If you threw a tantrum, we still go home. " If parents really know the nature of the child and discuss with him the plans in advance, it is easier to manage the child's behavior in public places.

Encourage your child slowly

If parents know that the child is large enough tantrums in public places, they should try the so-called "slow dive." In other words, if the child can not stand going to the mall, lead him to start the pharmacy. Say, "Let's look at your behavior. We go inside for five to ten minutes. " Parents need to clearly define the rules. Thus, instead of the shopping center you are in a more controlled situation and close to the child. Begin training with small, teach the child to communicate and teach it to solve problems and act like everyone else.

Write down the rules and keep them handy

Before you take the child with him in a public place, you must identify limitations in his behavior. Children need to know exactly what will happen. For children from 9 to 12 years, parents are advised to keep the card in the car with the three rules of conduct:

• Responding to a request from the first time
• Take "no" for an answer
• Do not raise your voice and behave.

Read the rules written on the card before you enter the mall or store. These actions will help the child to control himself. Read the rules of the child develops a model of behavior.

It is necessary to look at the situation from the other side: Let's say you increase the speed and you fined. Presumably, when the next time you are in a hurry, you will remember how to feel when you are paid no more than a fine and do not exceed the speed. And it really works, for example, in America, in every state on the roads every ten kilometers, you can see the sign of the speed limit. Therefore, you must always provide the child appropriate reminders that will facilitate concentration.

If the rules are still violated

If a child violates the rules established for it, you have to take him out of the mall. If he is satisfied with the fit, stay with him, and when he finished, take him out of the store. All the show is over, no more joint purchases.

Younger children, you can simply take the hand and lead to the car. But if they resist, do not use physical force. Let your child arrange a tantrum. Sit and watch the scene. And if people will ask questions, answer: "He's hysterical, and nothing I can do about it." Parents must do so each time, until the child is no longer hold public scene. If you have the opportunity, take a magazine or a book to a child could see that it does not attract your attention to his bad behavior.

Of course, this can put parents in an awkward situation. But you must understand that children are also aware that their behavior bother you. This is emotional blackmail, which the child is applying to you. So children think: "Surrender to me, or I'll blackmail you in front of all these adults. I'm going to embarrass you, and you will find yourself in a difficult situation. " Everything is very simple. Parents should not allow your child to make himself a hostage of his bad behavior.

Remember, if you are not going to make concessions to the child, he begins to look for other ways to solve problems.

Leave the baby at home

There is nothing wrong to put the child at home under supervision. Tell him: "You're not going, with me today, because you can not control their behavior. The last time we went shopping, you threw a tantrum, so now you're staying at home. "

If the child promises to behave well, begs, tell him: "Let's see how you will behave in the house. If you can do it, then we'll talk. " And yet, leave it at home. Let the child know that you are not going to give in to blackmail and that you are a strong personality - and when you decide you're not going to change it.

That is the simple truth: if children use inappropriate behavior to get their way, they will never learn to solve problems .  If they do not possess this skill, they are not adapted to adult life .  We can often observe adults who are angry and shouting at each other whenever experiencing emotional distress .  The reason for this, in a sense, communicative skills are poor and lack of problem-solving skills .  Faced with a problem, they only know how to avoid it .  But sometimes it is developing within them, until they can not stand and break .  Therefore, you should take a clear position and not allow your child to keep you hostage to his bad behavior .  Do not succumb to emotional blackmail, when your child is threatened by a scandal .  Parents need to tune in to what the child has to go to bed now without hysterics .  That is the main task of the parents .  You must teach their children the skills they need .  If you can do it, you took as a parent .

Reaction to the action of the child

Features of the development of sexual behavior in early childhood may include sex games, masturbation, swearing, obscene jokes and dressing up in the clothes of the opposite sex.

Sexy games

Many parents are surprised and even are shocked when they learn that their children play sexual games or visiting each other. This reaction arises from the fact that adults see in this game sexual connotations. However, this behavior in childhood is impelled by curiosity.

Your reaction to these situations will give your child a better understanding of sexuality Nine ways to experience their sexuality . If you respond with anger, disgust or punish the child, he may feel guilt, shame or embarrassment. If you respond to this incident the usual questions: "You pretend to adults? "Or" Tell me about the game that you play ", you agree to encourage a child's curiosity and give yourself the opportunity to gather more information and food for thought.

You will need to discuss with your child questions about the privacy and personal security, setting the boundaries of what is permitted and forbidden. For example, if your daughter is playing the role of "doctor" and examine the genitals of his friend, you might say: "I see you inspect the Dima just like a doctor. But Dima can look at his penis, he should keep it in his shorts during a game. If you want to see how the boys look, we can together look for patterns in the books. "

Reading books to children about sexuality will satisfy children's curiosity.

Masturbation

Touch their genitals - a natural and quite familiar activity for children of all ages. They can do it out of curiosity, because it is nice to relax or calm down if they are upset about something, tired or bored. Some children do not masturbate, others do it occasionally, while others masturbate regularly.

Masturbation - normal and harmless phenomenon. Scolding and punishing a child because he touched his genitals, you do not stop it, but rather it will plant a sense of guilt and shame for such behavior. If you notice your child masturbates, it is better to ignore it. Usually by the time the child goes to school, he was already familiar with the generally accepted norms of behavior and know that touch their genitals in public is impossible. If not, explain to your child that touch you normally only if he / she is doing it in private, in my room with the door closed. For example, you might say: "I know that touching the vulva / penis nice, but the body is very personal. People tend to touch them, when they were alone in a secluded place. Can you name a lonely place? ".

Swearing and jokes with sexual fantasies

When children swearing and telling obscene jokes, this is usually a reaction to the words that they have heard from other people. Often, such behavior - a way to brag to your friends, or to see how far you can go in the presence of a parent or adult. If such an event - the only one of its kind, it is best to ignore. If such cases are repeated, should discuss with the children the meaning of words they use, and explain to them how these expressions are unpleasant and offensive to you and to others.

At puberty Puberty child - stages of a complex path , Profanity may permanently enter the lexicon of the child. This may be a manifestation of the growing interest in sex, or one way to prove their maturity and their peers 'cool'. Certainly, all children use words. This kind of expression is an important stage in adolescence, but if frequent profanities or if it upsets you, you need to set boundaries of behavior, that is, to limit the use of profanity and vulgar jokes with friends, family and personal space.

Sometimes cursing and writing profanity in public places is an expression of anger. It is important that children are not associated feelings of anger and frustration with sex. Help them to identify the things that make them angry, and discuss with them how intelligent behavior in complex situations. Encourage them to express emotions desire Emotions and culture: how to decipher the emotional code , Talk about their feelings and experiences.

Wearing clothes of the opposite sex

Young children like to dress up and play different roles. It might be in disguise, and the role played by the opposite sex. Encourage children. They should be comfortable in different roles.

Self-defense

Children can be taught from an early age the skills needed to protect against sexual abuse and exploitation. The most important thing for parents and caregivers is to strengthen trusting and open relationship with their children, so that they could tell adults everything. Self-advocacy skills for young children include the ability to call the private parts: ass, penis, scrotum, the testicles, vulva and vagina; understanding that their body belongs only to them, and the ability to identify which of the adult you can trust and talk about everything.

Children are not responsible for your own safety, so our task - to teach children to trust adults who are able to help. If you are concerned about the behavior of the child or if the child committed sexual violence, it is very important time to seek professional help.

A variety of programs that teach young children self-defense. Take an interest in the kindergarten or school about whether there is such a class schedule. If not, then you must enter this course for the safety of children.