Bad behavior and self-esteem

Children who are ill and defiant behavior toward their parents or brothers and sisters, often do so because of low self-esteem. They are afraid to feel certain emotions, or be in a certain situation. Aggressive behavior gives them the illusion of control over people when one of the parents or brother (sister) becoming a victim.

It is natural that such behavior is often the child's parents have mixed reactions. Parents angry at the child and each other, which also contributes to unity. Somehow it is easier to sort things out and constantly quarrel with each other because of the child's behavior than to require the child to change and behaved normally. In the meantime, this is what parents should not do.

Parents need to come together and decide what they are going to do together when the child behaves aggressively and insults one of them. It does not matter whether there while the other parent, they both have to say, "there is no excuse for such behavior." Tell that to the child directly, clearly and firmly, that he realized the seriousness of his offense. Do not try to justify his behavior, shifting the blame to other children in the family. Do not blame her husband. Transfer the responsibility for bad behavior back to the child.

The most important word in the child's upbringing Raising a child: who will win?   - The word "we", no matter whether you are a family or foster parents. Ignoring stepfather Dasha ignores the authority of a senior whom he represents. Lisa does not have to try to carry the burden of this conflict alone, and Dennis shall neither refuse to accept the role of the teacher in order to avoid conflict or provoke him, responding to aggression with disrespect Dashi.

Lisa and Denis have come together and send a clear Dasha understand that they are both her parents and disrespectful to one of them will be punished, despite the fact that Dennis is not her biological father.

Dima situation is somewhat different. Children feel who can put them in place (and unconsciously they are respected), but about who can wipe their feet. Dima's mother had not been for his authority, so he insulted her and disrespect. Dima's parents, Boris and Light must understand that their son knows that he can not behave with impunity in front of strangers - he did not like the consequences. Parents should let him know that the house he also is responsible for their behavior and will be punished. So when he offended mother or younger brother, the effects must also be quick and unpleasant. Dima Parents should watch how changing their behavior in public, and to use these observations to correct his behavior at home.

The child who bullies and offends certain people at home should learn other ways of self-affirmation, more appropriate to his age. Parents need to solve two problems:

• They should help the child to develop social skills in conflict resolution, negotiation and compromise.
• They should work together to establish clear rules of behavior of the child and the necessary restrictions (always remembering how important it is to unite and use the word "we").

Ultimately, the child should learn more ways to control their emotions Emotions and culture: how to decipher the emotional code And not the losses at close people samoutverzhdayas at their expense. He must learn to manage their feelings, to cope with the feeling of their own insignificance, confusion and helplessness alone, not vputyvaya others. When the parents manage to teach children, both sides are satisfied. Despite the fact that the child does not always desirable, but parents have to make an effort to control his behavior, they feel happy, because they know that the problems are solved within the family.

How to prevent partner violence

A few tips to help you build a healthy relationship with a partner, and protection from physical or psychological abuse by a partner.

• Gain experience and practice. Even if you are confident in their actions and do not need the advice of strangers, awkward age Transitional age - the period of emotional turmoil   - The time when you need to gain experience intimacy and learn their basic rights. In a sense, at this age, you get practice for future relations, "rehearse" their. At this time, formed patterns of behavior (good or bad) in relation to the partner. This is the perfect time to acquire habits, for which in the future will thank you for your partners.
• Understand that violence can lead to big trouble. In some cases, a crime committed against a partner, entail an additional penalty. For example, in the United States, if you scratch the car keys friend, you will not only be charged with vandalism, and violence against the teenagers. And, of course, to beat someone or forced to have sex with someone who said "no" against the law in any case, regardless of the country in which you live.
• Listen to yourself. Know yourself and define your own boundaries. If your partner's actions cause you discomfort and seem "wrong", do not give him no matter what he said. If the boy with whom you meet, or that you like, hit you, or climbed into your emails without permission, do not answer him in the same coin. If friends think that your girlfriend lets himself too much, and offer "to put it in place and show who's boss", ignore these provocations. Do not let yourself be manipulated. If a boy or a girl, with whom you meet, insults you or intentionally hurts, do not suffer this.
• Look for a healthy relationship. Sometimes it is not easy to understand what is good and what - bad and abnormal. If you do not know how to act, ask the adult you trust. Coach, teacher, parent or other parents can help you make the right choice (it is better to seek advice from an adult who shows respect for other people and knows how to keep a healthy relationship).
• Do something. If a friend or classmate verbally or physically hurting someone in your presence, find a safe way to stop the violence. For example, you can speak with the offender in order to distract him, or tell an adult about what's happening, you trust if they themselves can not interfere (if it is not safe for you). Your active action - a contribution to the common struggle against violence, they remind others that any violence is unacceptable.
• Remember that not everything in your power. If the person that you like, your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to stop seeing you, no prayers, entreaties, threats or control did not make him love you. No matter how much effort you put in to keep a loved one close by, you still did not leave. Love can not be. If you can not trust a partner - because he is not credible, or you feel insecure when he's not there - this relationship is better to stop until it's too late.

If you have been the target of violence

If you are exposed to physical or psychological abuse by a partner, it's time to ask for help or come up with a plan to ensure their safety (unpunished brutality only increases with time), or run without a backward glance.