What if you lost your temper in the presence of a child?

When the parents' actions are unpredictable, the child in the head lights red light alarm and he starts to panic. He quickens the heartbeat, acute hearing and vision, he instinctively goes into standby mode to the non-standard, a critical situation. Typically, in such a situation, the child will begin to own or hysteria to distract attention from other "stimuli", or attempt to quietly disappear.

For example, if a parent raises his voice, he slams the door, throws things, swearing, or otherwise demonstrate their anger, pets and children are usually hiding and try to make as unobtrusively as possible. But inside, they panic and can not calm down for a few hours. Perhaps they even increased blood pressure, stomach aches, head, they feel a sense of fear and hopelessness.

But even the less violent manifestations of emotions surrounding the cause of children anxiety and concern. Provoke panic might accidentally overheard parents about problems at work, financial problems or even an increased tone of the conversation.

If the child's anxiety and worry caused by your own emotional breakdown, try it as soon as possible to calm down, and find the child and calm him down. Assure him that everything is all right, and you just get into a fuss. Explain that it was a minute breakdown, and you have calmed down. Be sure to sit with your child at bedtime Dreams: how to understand our dreams   and once again be assured him that everything is all right.

The child needs to know that parents are always looked after and cared for him, no matter what. Use the critical situation to calm the child, to assure him that you will always be his mother (or father), you'll always be a family, and the child will always be home, no matter where he lives.

Carrying out a clear boundary between feelings and thoughts - is another way to calm the child. Teach him that emotions can sometimes - on time - to go out of control, but the most important decisions are always made not under the influence of emotions, as a result of deliberation and reflection. Try to plan all the important events and write a plan on paper to show your child. Psychologists are also advised parents to make a list of priorities and clearly explain to the child that is in the first place, that - in the second, and so on. It turns out that children experience a great relief if they know that they (and the family as a whole) are at the top of the priority list, and that is a real confirmation.

On one of the top positions in the list of priorities set health because without health you can not give the child the protection and support that he needs.

Show your child how important it is for you. Explain that to him if something happens, you leave work and will deal with their health because the child and the family is more important for you to work and career (this is especially important if you work hard and pay little family time).

Ask your child to draw his own priorities, for example in the form of a circle, the center of which are the most important things for him. A few weeks later, return to this conversation, ask the child have not changed its priorities during this time.

Whenever possible, the child Demonstrate that his deeds and actions must be logical, deliberate and well-founded, as well as teaching him that his life should not be subordinated to emotions Emotions and culture: how to decipher the emotional code And reason.

In the evening, before going to bed, be sure to calm the baby, make sure that it does not disturb anything that night he slept soundly and peacefully. Parents can significantly affect the mental state of the child, if each day will be given a few minutes to remind him of her love and support.

How to help your child cope with stress: effective tactics

To apply these principles of education of children in stressful situations in practice, use the following tactics:

Protect your child from excessive displays of emotion, such as too emotional expressions in adults.

• Make sure that the child is fully fed and a lot of moving.
• You can not protect your son or daughter from fast food at school, but homemade food should be healthy and beneficial.
• Every week there is a house "raids" in search of harmful food: potato chips, salted nuts, cookies, candy and other things, which often brings a child from school.
• After lunch or dinner, try to go with the child for an evening stroll. Talk to him on topics of interest, do not discuss anything negative. Admire the beauty of the sunset, talk about nature, that even after the strongest thunderstorms and bad weather still the sun comes up.
• If the child himself takes the conversation to the topic or problem that was bothering him, ask him more and offer a solution or a critical situation, but do not dedicate the child in your own problems. At the end of the conversation, ask the child to summarize what you discussed, to be sure that he did the right conclusions and will be able to sleep peacefully.

Because in times of disagreements and quarrels between the parents become more frequent, the child should see their relationship with the two sides:

• If you had a falling out in the presence of the child, should also be put up in his eyes that he knew that the quarrel - a temporary phenomenon, and that mom and dad love each other no matter what.
• If you can not come to an agreement with your spouse, and your relationship is going through a serious crisis, please be daring and visit family psychologist-consultant, consult with a spiritual mentor or a senior member of the family.
• Drop pride and ask for help to your home at peace, and the child saw that stress can destroy the family.
• Never, under any circumstances, do not draw the child in disagreement with your second half.
• It is not necessary to spoil the child childhood, though he does not know about adult problems until problems are resolved.
• If a child tries to intervene (this happens quite often), politely ask him to go to his room and tell him that adults will understand: "We'll let you know when your help will we need, and now we shall understand ourselves. You'll be the first to know about our decision. "

Another thing, if you talk specifically addresses child. A child can (and should!) To participate in a conversation about daily routine, time to return home and school performance.

To calm the child, it should be a little "slow down", for example, give him a job. If he can not take part in the conversation of parents, ask them to write down everything that was bothering him, and all comments and suggestions. The room would be much quieter, and the degree of tension will subside immediately. In addition, this method of presenting ideas to get the child to think and not just act under the influence of emotions Emotions and culture: how to decipher the emotional code . Another advantage of such a "conversation" that adults can then review the written carefully consider all proposals and make an informed an informed decision.

Psychologists advise parents to give children in the details, but to insist on in important matters. This course of action enables the child to feel that he also has the right to vote, they can make decisions and control some things. Remember: the more control - the less anxiety and worry. Is it so important to you that the child will eat for lunch: potatoes or rice?

If a child regularly witnesses the emotional breakdown and explanation of the relationship of adults watching television programs that incite emotional swings, or faced with other factors, stimulating increased activity of the nervous system, parents are obliged to help him reduce anxiety Anxiety - how to distinguish normal from disease?   and stress.

• Surround the child's care and kindness; he should know exactly that at certain times, such as after dinner or before going to bed Dreams: how to understand our dreams , You give him time to calm him down.
• Most talk about his love child, remind him how important it is for you, and that he can always count on you, even if you are not sure.
• Most child needs to know that Mom and Dad always understand and support it. The mere presence of parents in a child's life works wonders.

No matter what happens in your life, you can always find time to talk with your child, even by way of phone or Skype, and surround him with their attention and love.