Modeling healthy sexual behavior

May 25, 2012

 Modeling healthy sexual behavior
 It is believed that children learn about the world from their own experience. This opinion is very accurately conveys the attitude of the children to their body and sex. The most unexplored aspect of parenting - it is their ability to learn are not the words of parents and perceiving and analyzing their actions. Even before the collision with the concepts of culture and with life's problems, children behave, as is customary in their home. Thus, children learn about the world from their own experience. This is a true statement also applies to the perception of his own body and sex.

Children deserve respect and manifestations of parental warmth. Adults need to know how you need to apply to children. Children need parental understanding. Every parent wants the child to become his own reflection.

Since the education of the child Raising a child: who will win?  Raising a child: who will win?
   - A long and gradual, it is hope for a better future is always there. Right now - a good time to identify the main issues and to introduce changes that could strengthen the family.

 Modeling healthy sexual behavior


For example, the little boy grew up with a mother whose behavior was beyond acceptable. So, the boy grew up, but her mother continued to go to the bathroom, where he washed. Up until his sixteenth birthday his mother invited the child to the bathroom when taking a bath.

On the one hand, a repetitive behavior dulled sensitivity and modesty of the boy. Nudity became habitual for him. Frames conventional modesty are violated. On the other hand, such actions of his mother led to an unhealthy perception of nudity and constantly forced the boy to think about women. Over time, this behavior leads to lustful towards all women. Were you surprised when the boy would be dependent on sex? Sadly, this story is not unique. Some parents say that their children grow up without complexes and that nudity is actually beneficial.

Another example is the story of a girl whose father was a Sunday school teacher. He was esteemed man, a good family man and a devoted husband. But the youngest of his children, a girl of four years old, not terribly lucky, because often she had to take a shower with his father and brothers.

It is hard to imagine how you can protect yourself from this kind of indiscretion which occurs everywhere. Indiscreet behavior at home, leads to the fact that children start to behave accordingly as elsewhere. Too often the indiscretion and depravity run further sexual behavior of children.

The family needs to establish a framework of humility and modesty. For example, proper for a family member to leave the bathroom door open? Shame on you walk around the house in his underwear? Often, "cute" look child, running around the apartment after taking a bath naked, but setting boundaries natural modesty, absolutely can not allow this. Children need a safe and healthy behaviors in the home.

 Modeling healthy sexual behavior


Secularization today exhausted skills. Slang and blasphemy often appear in the media and in society. Much of modern information devalues ​​the moral and ethical standards and principles.

Traveling with young children can often hear swearing. For example, a family with children (a boy and a girl of seven years, four) stopped a snack near the airport and close to hear the dispute and blasphemous men. Parents concerned about what is happening and what has to listen to their children, appealed to men than only increased their resentment.

Such cases are unpleasant, but enable parents to familiarize children with the real world and explain the meaning of swear words.

Nobody is perfect, even in the family there are reservations. Thus, it is impossible to demand that children perfect literary language. It is only necessary to allocate their mistakes, to help children understand their own and improve speech, temper the character.

 Modeling healthy sexual behavior


Humor - an obvious part of the conversation, which deserves special attention. Most people laugh at some funny incident or event, while the man thinks that laugh at him.

Sitcom emphasize that humor is often at the expense of another person. Within the family, which is to be familiar, misuse of humor can deprive a person of self-esteem.

It is appropriate to mention one young woman who often cried, remembering how joked about her father and brothers. As a child, she suffered from obesity, so it is mocked, not only in school but also at home. When she grew up, her body has changed - it became a beautiful woman. Sadly, my father continued to make fun of her figure, emphasizing only the beautiful feet.

Humor with sexual overtones may contain veiled sexual abuse. It can deeply hurt the child and leave emotional scars on appearance, gender or self-importance. An example of a woman, above, has unfortunate consequences that impact on the behavior of its men in the family, with men in general, and my husband and I, as a young woman bent on their own attractiveness, so important, in her view, for men.

Encourage kindness. It is believed that every negative remarks against another person should be balanced by positive affirmations family, to restore the old relationship. It is known that children are more vulnerable than adults. You may want to review the family jokes and to support those who can not defend themselves.

 Modeling healthy sexual behavior

Anger - a manifestation of the behavior

Anger always find support. Unfortunately, anger often falls on the children who are not able to calm the angry parents. It is not difficult to imagine how hard it is to raise a child who is opposed not only to ill-treatment, but also parents.

So, the girl brought up in a home where his mother runs the wicked. By that time, when she went to study, anger began to appear, and her own. It is the hour stops the phrase: "Well, it spilled mother! "Which was used by his father to calm his wife at the time. The surprise was to see a woman his evil mother.

Anger may be justified, but the ways of expression are subject to condemnation. Children in homes where there is anger, often forbidden to complain about, even if they are old enough to have an opinion. Children who were forced to restrain anger, it remains in my heart and waiting for the right opportunity to show and injure someone else.

Home should be a safe place where there is always support in difficult times. Many people are easy to anger, considering it one of the ways to negotiate in a joint life. If anger - a frequent guest in the house, it's never too late to get rid of it. Parents need to know two things: the children want to love their parents, and they love them, they are easy to adjust in order to achieve their goal.

While the unbridled anger remains in the house, the children clearly do not have enough love. Starved for love and affection, children will look for it in the manifestation of sexuality Nine ways to experience their sexuality  Nine ways to experience their sexuality
 Once they understand that can use this method. And soon the sex of the ways to show love can turn into a demonstration of self-worth.

Keep in mind that change takes time. Many of the problems described in this article occur in families for generations. If so, it is important to use not only new parenting skills, but also explore the hidden problems and take into account the "pitfalls".

Article Tags:
  • sex education

Psychosexual development of the child: the norm and deviation

April 23, 2012

  • Psychosexual development of the child: the norm and deviation
  • Adolescence

 psychosexual development of the child's rate of deviation
 In the process of mental and sexual development of the child is the establishment of his identity. Through its own development activities actually mediated by its relationships with adults, the child acquires social experience. Human sexuality takes place in several stages of development. Generalized about sexuality Nine ways to experience their sexuality  Nine ways to experience their sexuality
   built on the belief that sexual desire and sexual instincts are awakened suddenly at the age of puberty Puberty child - stages of a complex path  Puberty child - stages of a complex path
   (twelve to seventeen years) and mature gradually.

Flexible change when children get older, changing one form of expression to another, the sexual instincts are transformed into adult sexuality, differing harmonious and complex state and a combination of feelings, which complement each other, strengthen and balance. Sexuality, a sense of belonging to a particular gender are inseparable from the personality.

Many parents find it difficult to accept that their child, even a very small, has a sexuality, may experience sexual desire (even if unconscious) and interest in sex and the opposite sex. Curiosity (or quite natural curiosity) often have children far enough: they study, are considering or touch his genitals or the genitals of other children, which often leads parents horrified.

The natural child curiosity about sex can manifest itself in different ways: sometimes children spying for adults in the bathroom or toilet, eavesdrop at the door of the master bedroom, browsing "adult" magazines, books, videos and websites on the Internet.

But it is sometimes difficult to distinguish between the normal behavior of a child experiencing a healthy curiosity about sex, by abnormal, indicate the possibility of emerging or deviations in his psychosexual development. "Normal" games of a sexual nature in children has the following characteristics:

  • The participants of these games are the children who are in friendly or friendly relations, mutual sympathy experiencing.
  • In games of a sexual nature, participants are in the same position - they are about the same age, social status, are at the same level of physical and emotional development.
  • Such games are frivolous and spontaneous. Children laugh, fool around and do not take seriously what is happening.
  • If the parents set the rules of play and define the boundaries (for example, do not allow your child to remove clothing), children listen to them and do not violate the rules.


Pre-school age (0-5 years)


  • The child is interested in the genitals, actively asking questions about sex and demonstrate knowledge of:
  • the difference between girls and boys, their genitals;
  • personal hygiene, urination and defecation;
  • pregnancy and childbirth.
  • Child explores their own genitals and gets pleasure from touching him.
  • The child shows sexual organs to other children and is considering other's genitals.


  • The child knows exactly how the adults are having sex, and also owns the appropriate vocabulary to describe sexual relations.
  • The child enters with the other children in the sex, sex imitating adults.


Younger school age (6-8 years)


  • The child wants to know and ask questions about:
  1. physical development, family relationships, sexual behavior;
  2. menstruation and pregnancy;
  3. personal values.
  • The child "experimenting" with their peers, often the same sex, playing with them in role-playing games, or sexually suggestive.
  • The child continues to explore his genitals; their possible stimulation for pleasure.


  • A child comes into serious sex simulating sex in adults.
  • The child knows about different sexual activities, as they are called, and how come.
  • Child indecent behavior in public places (masturbating, shows genitals).