Psychology of relationships: how to achieve harmony

November 6, 2013

  • Psychology of relationships: how to achieve harmony
  • How to keep warm

 psychology of relationships
 How to start a family? How do you know your own child? How to please the boss? How to communicate? These questions are always relevant, because the psychology of human relations care of almost all. Aristotle said that man - a social animal, which means that a human life is a great place is given to relations with their peers.


Orientation in the world Relations

Psychology relations - a concept quite blurred. This includes relationships with the collective psychology, and psychology of the business relationship, and the psychology of interpersonal relations (including between men and women) and the psychology of family relations. It is noteworthy that people tend to want relations from all fun and benefits for myself. But as the interests of different people may overlap, conflicts arise, to resolve them has to make concessions to both sides.

Most people call the most important for myself interpersonal and family relationships. At work relationships, of course, important, but you can just do their work, the minimum contact with colleagues. The family relationships also come to the fore and are of great importance to all members of the family feel happy. Psychology of relations an enormous number of scientific studies and popular books, and yet, this question does not cease to excite those who dream of a harmonious relationship with someone else.

Increasingly in recent years, psychologists talk about a new type of relationship - a relationship of virtual. The advent of modern means of communication suddenly made this a very common type of relationship. Virtual relationships have a number of differences from the real relationship, so many psychologists this type of relationship is considered an illusion of communication.


Virtual Psychology

Once there is a virtual reality, which devote themselves to many people, there must be a psychology and virtual relationships. And it exists. Virtual Psychology appeared relatively recently. This branch of science of the soul is studying the interaction between people via electronic means. Scientists are exploring the psychological portraits of people in various virtual worlds; human stereotypes and attitudes regarding the activities carried out by means of electronic media; especially the development of relations at the intersection of the virtual and real worlds.

Key features of virtual relationships from the real:

  • In real life, when meeting focused primarily on external data. In the virtual space of the same come first spiritual qualities of personality;
  • Communicating with virtual interlocutors, people inevitably think out images of opponents, giving them some properties and qualities that may not actually be;
  • In virtual space, you can pretend to be a different person, "try on" the image of an individual of the opposite sex, age, creed,
  • Fires "effect of companion": seeing the face of the interlocutor, you can take off all masks and very frankly tell you about myself;
  • Communication may be interrupted at any time without explanation, and the possibility to restore the friendship.

Many believe that virtual relationships - no more than an illusion. Psychologists warn against such a form of human relations, prone to emotional dependency, sensitive and trusting. If the network has any love relationship, it is better as soon as possible to translate them into reality.

At the same time, virtual friendships in their value: friends in the network can provide moral support at the very moment when it is needed, in real time. There are many cases when communicating on the Internet allowed people to survive the difficult events in their lives.


Healthy relationships

Interestingly, not everyone can answer the question, what is a healthy, harmonious relationship. Examples of such relationships virtually no literature or in a movie, and it's only natural to watch the ups and downs of difficult, painful and dramatic relationship is much more interesting. But as a result of people brought up on these books and movies, have no idea of ​​how it is necessary to communicate with relatives and very close friends to chat gave everything and it was only joy at the same time for all helpful.

Identify healthy relationship is a snap - it's peer relationships that satisfy both sides. Such relationships are respectful and honest, they have no place to manipulation and pressure dependence and passing the buck.

It is obvious that a healthy relationship with their own kind can be built only psychologically healthy people. There are many criteria for mental health, among which occupy an important place:

  • Self-esteem;
  • The real view of things;
  • Learning to live "here and now";
  • Positive self-perception;
  • The desire to develop and improve themselves and their lives;
  • Adaptability to society, adequate communication skills.

That is why those who want to build and maintain healthy relationships, primarily recommended to work on yourself and get rid of internal problems. Otherwise, a person is literally "attracts" to itself unsuitable people that relationship by definition, can only be destructive. And there is no mystery: a man accustomed to contact, for example, with tyrants seem "uninteresting" respectful communication. As a result of such contacts are filtered out in the early stages, and the man turns to a psychologist complaining that it can not in any way to build a relationship, because nobody respects. In this case, you should first work with them to identify their expectations, criteria for choosing a partner. After that, a correction of incorrect settings, and only then you can start to build any relationship.

Family tyrant endure, leave or fight?

December 21, 2013

 family tyrant
 There are people with whom life - a serious test. Such an outsider might seem quite prosperous and enjoyable, and only relatives know that he actually - a real family tyrant. Can you survive with such a member of the family, and what to do to keep yourself under tyranny? And, perhaps, you can re-tyrant?


Portrait surrounded

The concept of tyranny is usually associated with the dictator, to usurp power in the country. Family tyrants - that birds are not flying, they do not threaten to control the state, but fully satisfy their need for power in his own family. It seems that these people piously believe in their own infallibility and right. Only they know how to live, and all other views are considered a priori wrong. Tirana sure that everyone knows better than anyone else, so they just have to control everyone and everything, to close unruly not made mistakes.

Almost always, tyrants, argue that they care about the welfare of the family. In fact, they are driven by the desire for power.

They are intolerant of objections and did not even try to listen to someone else's opinion. And that family members had no doubt that the tyrant is in power perfectly legally, he does everything to convince loved ones in their inferiority. In the course are nitpicking, insults and even physical impact. All this, according to the tyrant - absolutely necessary measures to re-foolish ones.

It is obvious that the family needed the tyrant, which he will demonstrate his power. Without proper environment tyrant just do not become so. As a rule, seekers after power to bind their fate people with low self-esteem, self-doubt and who can not resist giving the abuser. Typically, these people are quite irresponsible and a little childish: they even like that near a person who is willing to make all the decisions for them. In addition, often the initial stage of dating despot cleverly disguises his desire for power touching solicitude.

Many believe that most men are tyrants. In fact, among the fair sex lovers povlastvovat no less. Just ladies do not usually resort to direct pressure and aggression, and get their help with the manipulation. However, whatever method is used, the result is the same: the will of the tyrant households.


Is it good to live with a despot?

It seems clear that to live with a tyrant is extremely unpleasant. However, not all file for divorce as soon begins to command close to home. The tyrant usurping power gradually. He skillfully convinces his half of that in some matters it is more competent than others. The terms of such issues is gradually increasing. This tyrant constantly declares that tries for the good of the family, and gradually convinces households in their inferiority.

As a result of close tyrant can really believe in their own inferiority.

They believe that the tyrant wants only the best for them, even if he goes to physical violence. Living with a tyrant power often choose children of parents who are accustomed to such relations. They simply can not imagine how it is possible to live differently, so continue to live with the tyrant, hoping to somehow rehabilitate his or console themselves with the fact that it should be built as family relationships. The victims of despotism look miserable and "clogged" the people, their lives unbearable, but they are afraid of another life.


Is it possible to fight against tyranny?

If in the early stages of the relationship turns out that a loved one craves absolute power in the family and is ready to achieve it at all costs, better, of course, to terminate the relationship, it is too late. If despotism close manifested gradually, then deal with it much more difficult: it all begins with small things. The victim seems to be that it is easier to give up than to argue. However, a concession should be the other, and then a third and a fourth. And now such concessions are a way of life.

Thus, it should be wary if a loved one calls for a compromise, but he never gives way. This shows his penchant for tyranny, as well as self-righteousness, a few obsessive care and constant desire to teach, guide and control. In such a situation to react quickly:

  • Do not be afraid to argue and argue;
  • Politely but firmly discourage all attempts to insult and humiliate;
  • Clearly identify the range of issues in which the tyrant has only a consultative vote;
  • Do not succumb to provocations;
  • Strive for open dialogue and not to communicate with the help of manipulation.

Rather, such actions do not like the tyrant. Maybe they do not like it so much that the relationship will end and possibly try to seize power a tyrant more stringent methods - in the second case about the separation should think seekers after power to the partner, if it is, of course, does not want to be a victim forever.

On the re-education of the tyrant is better to forget - it is an illusion, it is impossible to change the other person.

Anything that can make victims of despotism in the family - is to change your own behavior. It may not be easy, especially if the family has developed certain patterns of behavior. Yet it is necessary if you want to live a full life and not languish under the rule of a tyrant.


Is it easy to be a tyrant?

Himself tyrants too difficult to live: to subjugate the entire world or at least the closest people - work quite troublesome and consuming energy. In addition, the tyrants have to constantly think about how to prevent a riot.

Those who found themselves in the portrait of the tyrant and had the courage to admit it even to himself, is a deal. You may have to turn to a psychologist or therapist to find out what kind of fears and complexes led to insatiable lust for power, and how you can deal with their psychological problems.

Maria Bykov

Article Tags:
  • aggression,
  • Family Psychology