There are people with whom life - a serious test. Such an outsider might seem quite prosperous and enjoyable, and only relatives know that he actually - a real family tyrant. Can you survive with such a member of the family, and what to do to keep yourself under tyranny? And, perhaps, you can re-tyrant?
The concept of tyranny is usually associated with the dictator, to usurp power in the country. Family tyrants - that birds are not flying, they do not threaten to control the state, but fully satisfy their need for power in his own family. It seems that these people piously believe in their own infallibility and right. Only they know how to live, and all other views are considered a priori wrong. Tirana sure that everyone knows better than anyone else, so they just have to control everyone and everything, to close unruly not made mistakes.
Almost always, tyrants, argue that they care about the welfare of the family. In fact, they are driven by the desire for power.
They are intolerant of objections and did not even try to listen to someone else's opinion. And that family members had no doubt that the tyrant is in power perfectly legally, he does everything to convince loved ones in their inferiority. In the course are nitpicking, insults and even physical impact. All this, according to the tyrant - absolutely necessary measures to re-foolish ones.
It is obvious that the family needed the tyrant, which he will demonstrate his power. Without proper environment tyrant just do not become so. As a rule, seekers after power to bind their fate people with low self-esteem, self-doubt and who can not resist giving the abuser. Typically, these people are quite irresponsible and a little childish: they even like that near a person who is willing to make all the decisions for them. In addition, often the initial stage of dating despot cleverly disguises his desire for power touching solicitude.
Many believe that most men are tyrants. In fact, among the fair sex lovers povlastvovat no less. Just ladies do not usually resort to direct pressure and aggression, and get their help with the manipulation. However, whatever method is used, the result is the same: the will of the tyrant households.
Is it good to live with a despot?
It seems clear that to live with a tyrant is extremely unpleasant. However, not all file for divorce as soon begins to command close to home. The tyrant usurping power gradually. He skillfully convinces his half of that in some matters it is more competent than others. The terms of such issues is gradually increasing. This tyrant constantly declares that tries for the good of the family, and gradually convinces households in their inferiority.
As a result of close tyrant can really believe in their own inferiority.
They believe that the tyrant wants only the best for them, even if he goes to physical violence. Living with a tyrant power often choose children of parents who are accustomed to such relations. They simply can not imagine how it is possible to live differently, so continue to live with the tyrant, hoping to somehow rehabilitate his or console themselves with the fact that it should be built as family relationships. The victims of despotism look miserable and "clogged" the people, their lives unbearable, but they are afraid of another life.
Is it possible to fight against tyranny?
If in the early stages of the relationship turns out that a loved one craves absolute power in the family and is ready to achieve it at all costs, better, of course, to terminate the relationship, it is too late. If despotism close manifested gradually, then deal with it much more difficult: it all begins with small things. The victim seems to be that it is easier to give up than to argue. However, a concession should be the other, and then a third and a fourth. And now such concessions are a way of life.
Thus, it should be wary if a loved one calls for a compromise, but he never gives way. This shows his penchant for tyranny, as well as self-righteousness, a few obsessive care and constant desire to teach, guide and control. In such a situation to react quickly:
- Do not be afraid to argue and argue;
- Politely but firmly discourage all attempts to insult and humiliate;
- Clearly identify the range of issues in which the tyrant has only a consultative vote;
- Do not succumb to provocations;
- Strive for open dialogue and not to communicate with the help of manipulation.
Rather, such actions do not like the tyrant. Maybe they do not like it so much that the relationship will end and possibly try to seize power a tyrant more stringent methods - in the second case about the separation should think seekers after power to the partner, if it is, of course, does not want to be a victim forever.
On the re-education of the tyrant is better to forget - it is an illusion, it is impossible to change the other person.
Anything that can make victims of despotism in the family - is to change your own behavior. It may not be easy, especially if the family has developed certain patterns of behavior. Yet it is necessary if you want to live a full life and not languish under the rule of a tyrant.
Is it easy to be a tyrant?
Himself tyrants too difficult to live: to subjugate the entire world or at least the closest people - work quite troublesome and consuming energy. In addition, the tyrants have to constantly think about how to prevent a riot.
Those who found themselves in the portrait of the tyrant and had the courage to admit it even to himself, is a deal. You may have to turn to a psychologist or therapist to find out what kind of fears and complexes led to insatiable lust for power, and how you can deal with their psychological problems.
- Family Psychology