Self-doubt: what is to blame for "The Ugly Duckling"?
November 23, 2008
A realistic view of their abilities, self-confidence and self-esteem have a direct impact on our thinking and behavior, relationship with other people and life success. Self-confidence does not mean permissiveness and lack of any taboos and restrictions. Just confident people are different from insecure because it does not nourish unrealistic expectations and empty hopes. Even if some of their expectations are not met, they remain optimistic and confident in their abilities.
What is confidence?
Self-confidence is manifested in the positive, but realistic vision of himself and the situation. Anyone who is self-assured, is not afraid of problems and intractable problems, be able to defend their beliefs and courageous enough to recognize their limitations and errors.
Most people are competent in a particular area of life and at the same time ways to recognize that a little versed in other areas. A realistic view of themselves, their strengths and weaknesses to avoid reckless actions or rash. Confident people are not afraid of risk difficult task, it's not paralyzing anxiety and fear at the thought of what he needs to do.
On the other hand, insecure people are afraid of change and uncertainty, can not stand up for their beliefs and panic are afraid to be in an awkward situation, to appear in a ridiculous light. Self-doubt - a distrust of self, doubt in their abilities. Sometimes a lack of confidence is due to past failures, and sometimes it has no reasonable grounds: the man simply "feels" that he had something to fail.
Causes of insecurity
Many factors influence the formation of self-confidence, but often has a decisive influence parents' attitudes
. It is the perception of the child's parents becomes the basis for self-esteem and seeing a child himself, especially in the first years of life
. When parents support the child, take his choice and promote independence, he has formed a solid foundation for positive attitudes towards themselves and others, self-confidence
. The child just thinks: "If Mom and Dad love me, then I'm good"
. Accordingly, if one or both parents are too critical of the child or overly demanding of him if suppress his desire for independence, do not believe in his strength, or think that it is worse than other children, it does not contribute to the formation of a child's self-esteem
. The child thinks, "If Mom and Dad do not like me, then I'm bad"
. If the parents will be more likely to show their love for the child and support him, even when he makes mistakes, the child learn to love yourself for who he is, and will be on the development of self-confidence
Oddly enough, but the lack of confidence is not always justified, and does not necessarily mean lack of ability. Low self-esteem - it is rather a consequence of excessive, unrealistic expectations or standards of other people whose opinion is important for a child (first and foremost, of course, parents). Influence of friends and companies to present themselves on the person may be less than, or even stronger than the influence of parents and the community.
What is a healthy self-esteem?
It's just a love of self. Healthy self-esteem does not depend on success, as in the life of even the most successful person is bound to have setbacks and defeats. Healthy self-esteem is also not a result of comparing yourself to others, because there is always someone better. Healthy self-esteem means that we love ourselves for who we are and not for what we can or can not be.
Low self-esteem and self-doubt - it is a springboard to bad habits
Bad habits - second nature?
and the difficulties of life. Although insecure people are often aware of their problem, it is very difficult to change themselves if they do not first find the root of all evils - low self-esteem, and begin to fight it.
Upset and worry about failure - quite naturally
Moreover, it is a healthy response to stress
How to beat stress? Create an oasis
. Much worse, if failures leave us indifferent. The negative experience helps us to understand what is happening and to make conclusions: it is possible to change? If you can not change anything, a constructive solution can be found? Unfortunately, in the distorting mirror of low self-esteem and self-doubt events often appear in quite a different light, and even the smallest trouble can trigger melancholy, sadness and depression, and a healthy anger turns into an uncontrollable rage. The more negative our emotions
Emotions and culture: how to decipher the emotional code
The more they affect our ability to think clearly, and the less likely structural changes.
Laughter - laughter treat seriously
December 12, 2013
Laughter is contagious, and to a much greater extent than coughing or yawning. When people laugh together, between them there is a tangible connection, and it becomes several times more fun. No wonder there was such recreation areas as laughter therapy.
Laughter triggers the healing process in the body. It strengthens the immune system, gives strength, reduces pain and protects against the damaging effects of stress. Finally, laughter - is a free, secure and easy-to-use drug. Doctors have long noticed this, but the founder smehoterapii journalist Norman Cousins believe that on its own initiative, began a course of smehoterapii when he learned that the terminally ill. After some time, the disease has receded - the exact reason for this, however, is unknown, but he Cousins and many doctors do not doubt that it is - a consequence of the fact that the then terminally ill journalist every day watching comedy and laughed heartily.
Laughter can be used independently at home (if you like comedy, is already going through this therapy, without knowing it), or work with a specialist. Typically, sessions smehoterapii held in groups and it is easy to guess, is not only useful, but also very fun.
How useful smekhoterapiya
- Laughter relaxes the muscles of the body. Sincere, laughter relieves muscle tension and reduces stress. The muscles are relaxed for about 45 minutes after the person has ceased to laugh.
- Strengthening the immune system
The immune system - how it works?
. Laughter reduces levels of stress hormones in the blood and increases the activity of the cells of the immune system, making people become less vulnerable to disease.
- Laughter stimulates the production of endorphins. These substances not only improve mood, but also to temporarily relieve pain.
- Laughter helps protect the heart. Due laughing improved functioning of blood vessels and blood flow as a whole and thereby reduce the risk of cardiovascular diseases.
- Laughter helps to get rid of negative emotions
Emotions and culture: how to decipher the emotional code
. If you often laugh, anger, sadness, depression recede into the background, and in their place come the positive emotions.
- Relaxation. Laughter - a great way to relax, to escape, to temporarily forget about the problems.
- Change of perspective. Laugh at the situation, you can see it from a different perspective, from a different angle and in a totally different light. People who are regularly engaged Laughter, more than any other alternative open outlook on life - they are willing to accept many situations with humor, and because of this they are able to avoid unnecessary conflict and stress.
Even in the thirteenth century, surgeons used humor and laughter to distract patients from their pain. In the twentieth century it originated laughter therapy, and began numerous studies of its impact on people with different diseases. It has been experimentally found that laughter lowers stress hormone levels, relieves pain and stimulates the immune system and improves the quality of life in general.
Now, some clinics are using laughter therapy in the treatment of cancer patients
Breast cancer - the verdict?
. To some it may seem like a strange idea to use laughter where people are struggling with deadly diseases, but this approach gives very good results. When a person laughs, of his consciousness goes all the gloomy thoughts, and reduced levels of stress, which can aggravate the condition of cancer patients. Just three or four minutes of laughter bring improvement that lasts several hours.
Laughter: how to heal themselves with laughter?
While laughter therapy is not widespread - it is practiced only in a few clinics. In most cases, group sessions are held - because, as already mentioned, to laugh together is much better than alone. The principal in the group are not smehoterapii humor and jokes, but the laughter as exercise
Myths about exercise: do not believe
. Typically, members of the group are arranged in a circle, and the instructor stands in the center. Patients applied the fingertips to the cheeks, chest or lower abdomen, and make sounds "ha ha ha" or "hee-hee-hee," until your fingers will feel the vibration emanating from within the body. This vibration has a beneficial effect on the internal organs. During the group perform such exercises, even the most pessimistic people find it difficult to keep from laughing, and if activity begins with the artificial sounds that simulate laughter, then it ends, as a rule, a real friendly laugh.
If you can not walk on laughter therapy, you can use this method alone: see comedy or humorous TV programs, read funny stories and jokes, talk with people who have a developed sense of humor. It is also very useful to play with kids and pets - it's fun, and always give a reason for laughter. Even if you are very serious, respectable person, sometimes you need to let yourself be fooled - for example, to arrange a pillow fight, or play in the snow in a city park. Most kidding, start a harmless practical jokes, and be prepared to laugh, if someone is giving away you. By following these recommendations, you will gradually become increasingly noticing the funny side of life and life itself will seem more fun. This is the main task smehoterapii - change the general attitude of man to life, so be sure to improve his health.