Anger in children one to four years - is another phase of development

The baby cries, screams, falls to the floor and Sucitu legs, arranges a tantrum, throws toys, pushing and kicking objects and tries to hit the surrounding cam? I am sure many moms year-old children, this situation is familiar firsthand. Age and a half to four years - one of the most important periods in the development of the child. At this age, it seeks to assert and defend its independence, so often feels anger when his attempts met with resistance on the part of adults.

Remember the last time you wanted to do something, to get something, but faced with the ban and failure? What emotions did you have? Did you feel angry? Now imagine that should feel a small child who is just beginning to explore the world, to which all interested and who is constantly faced with the prohibitions of adults: "Do not go", "do not do it", "it is impossible." In addition, he sees that you and everyone else around him (and, possibly, his older brothers or sisters), impunity do everything that is forbidden to him. Add to this the limited possibilities of verbal expression of emotions Emotions and culture: how to decipher the emotional code   and underdeveloped communication skills - and get a recipe for frustration (frustration - a mental state caused by the inability to meet a certain need or desire, which is accompanied by a variety of negative emotions: irritation, anxiety, frustration and other things).

Studies have shown that children are able to understand language long before they start talking .  You can imagine how hard it is necessary to your child that understands hundreds of words, gestures and facial expressions, but can not express their emotions and feelings verbally? Therefore, it is not necessary to consider the wrath of your baby as a manifestation of bad temper, a sign of obsession with the dark forces or aggression directed specifically at you - consider it a natural symptom development .  Parents often feel helpless in front of aggression and anger children .  They think that they have to do something, put the baby in place and to immediately .  But such inflated unrealistic demands on themselves only lead to the fact that parents can not adequately respond to aggression on the part of the child .  Parents are a child's behavior is perceived as a lack of education, his own mistake, why panic, lose control and show reciprocal aggression, which leads to worsening of the conflict .  The main thing - often repeating itself, that anger at the child and the natural parents should not blame themselves for that child "naughty", "uncontrollable" or "bad" .  Like adults, children are angry, when perceive the situation as critical .  But unlike adults, they do not have great power and sufficient autonomy to make significant changes in their lives .

Also, unlike most adults, children's system of "I" had not yet been formed. Children live with their parents or other adults to help them in this. Yes, many children do have clearly shaped the idea of ​​self. But they lack the knowledge and experience to correctly interpret their connection with the events of the outside world. Try to put yourself in the place of the child and ask yourself how you would react to each situation or manifestation of a relationship to you.

When anger hides pain

With age, they improve communication skills, become more independent and enjoy all the benefits of the acquired skills. Children who continue to outbursts of anger, after four years, often require professional help to deal with anger. Outbursts of anger that continue or begin at school age, may mean that the child has learning problems or in relationships with peers.

Parents should learn to understand the causes of their child's behavior and determine when he does have a reason for anger and frustration, and when not. When a child shows disrespect to adults, especially those who are for it the authority (such as parents), for example, he declares that he hates them, and name-calling all sorts of bad words, it is difficult to understand how to act in such a situation.

Many parents are the child's behavior is simply baffling. It is difficult to imagine how sweet, affectionate and calm the baby turned into a raging monster (this is especially true for children from four to seven years), who cries, rolls on the floor, swears and throws things.

In such a situation - when a child is completely out of control - certainly proved most parents. The fact is that children learn to cope with strong emotions Emotions and culture: how to decipher the emotional code   gradually.

Unfortunately, many parents believe children are not self-sufficient individuals, such as "rubber men" from which all the trouble just bounce, leaving no trace that simply are incapable of complex emotions, can not long be upset and feel deep feelings .  But the anger proves the opposite - children are not so othodchivy as we would like to think an adult .  Why is that? Because the anger of the grown child - is often a response to pain .  It's like a red alarm, which notifies the fact that something is wrong .  Therefore, the wise parents will not ignore the tantrums of a child or take him to jokes .  Some parents whenever the situation becomes tense and angry child, raises his voice or otherwise demonstrate their anger, trying to joke to relieve tension and reduce everything to a joke .  In this case, children do not learn to deal with their anger and to behave in such a situation .  In addition, the child may think that the way parents want to get rid of its problems, considering them as something insignificant and unworthy of attention .

How to help your child deal with anger and teach it differently, non-invasively, to express the emotions that caused the tantrum? Will a few recommendations:

Try to find out the cause of the child's anger

First of all psychologists are trying to identify the biological causes of anger in children. This cause may be allergic, learning difficulties or developmental disorders. For example, an appointment with a psychologist came to the boy, whose parents complained about his disobedience, restlessness and irritability. Tantrums and bad behavior of the child are found mainly in the spring, and the psychologist suggested that parents check the boy to allergies. It turned out that the child had severe allergy to mold, pollen, and grass clippings that provoked malaise, which takes the form of aggressive behavior. After the child took a course of therapy, his behavior has returned to normal. Anger and anxiety - a common reaction is feeling unwell, inherent not only children but also adults.

Therefore, first of all, should be to seek the biological factors that can cause anger in the child. If you find it difficult to do it yourself, please contact your physician.