Family quarrels and their consequences - whether it is possible to glue the broken dishes? - According to the rules
November 30, 2013
- Family quarrels and their consequences - whether it is possible to glue the broken dishes?
- According to the rules
Family quarrel all the rules
Before the wedding, many believe that their family life is perfect. Few imagine the fatigue life, quarrels and insults. It seems that the talk until morning, hugs, kisses and sincere admiration for each other will not be the end. Of course, no idyll can not last forever, and the conflict is inevitable. It depends on you, what they will be, you can survive them and whether or not capable of forgiveness.
How to start a quarrel
- The main reason for quarrels can be called jealousy
Jealousy and what to do with it
. Distrust spouse creates secret and overt resentment that often result in the showdown.
- Another fairly common cause of quarrels - routine and everyday life. Someone tired of days, similar to each other as two drops of water, someone forgot to turn off the water back in the bathroom, the lights in the room and once again could not bear the trash. At first these little small things remain, but with time, when is the passion and opened my eyes to many things, it all starts to irritate.
- Not a small role and relationships with family and friends. If one of the spouses spending too much time away from home with friends or relatives admits too close to family matters and devotes all the secrets, it can result in a nasty quarrel.
- Started fighting, and when love goes by the wayside. All the shortcomings that before the couple ignored or regarded them as small or even cute, suddenly become terrible vices. Comes to the fact that once a loved one starts to irritate absolutely everything - voice, manners, good and bad.
- Common problems are solved is not possible for a long time, so do not contribute to the strengthening of marriage. Lack of money, always unfinished repairs, difficulties with children - these problems are often the causes of these scandals.
How to quarrel
Assuming that quarrels in family life are inevitable, then we can try to learn how to quarrel so as to clarify the relationship after the loss was minimal.
- never raised his voice at each other. The louder you yell, the less sense from explanation of the relationship and the greater the resentment after the anger will pass.
- the aim should be no quarrel mutual reproaches, and the search for solutions, rational. So try to engage in dialogue, to listen to what others say.
- do not say anything in their hearts. Very often, during an argument with each other people say such hurtful things that really they do not think. Avoid sharp epithets at each other.
- Take a break. You said one claim, to discuss one critical moment, disperse in different rooms at least for a short time. You cool down and possibly a second attempt to solve the problem, will be successful.
- You talk about what you feel. Instead of insults to the spouse is much more effective to talk about their feelings - an insult and pain. It does not cause aggression and desire to wound more painful.
- is not hoard offense. The longer you keep silent and have a - the negative emotions, the louder will be a scandal when they were still welling out. It is best to sort things out as soon as possible, then it is likely that the conversation did not grow into a quarrel. But it will never start a conversation on emotions
Emotions and culture: how to decipher the emotional code
. Wait a day will benefit both, but to endure a month - is superfluous.
Consequences of quarrels
Unfortunately, any argument does not pass without consequences for the relations. The worst thing, if these arguments are part of the habit. Spouses with time is learning to speak properly and get used to resolve any conflicts of shouting and accusations.
- The more often quarrels happen, the sooner blurred the boundaries acceptable. The pain threshold is reduced, and the couple are looking for new weak points in each other, because the pressure on the old no longer makes sense.
- Lost respect for each other, then there is no room for love. How can we respect and love the person who punctually trying to make you as a patient?
- It is important to remember that from family quarrels suffer not only the couple, but the children and other relatives. Dirty linen in public, as if the couple did not try to keep the conflicts in secret. Constant abuse causes nervous parents and children from the tense situation simply suffer.
- Even if the conflict and families manage to save the marriage for a long time, happy to call it very difficult. Resentment over the years, only to accumulate, to forgive is becoming increasingly difficult, and eventually both spouses understand that the good moments of their life was much less.
Does it make sense in such a relationship? Is it possible to bring peace and harmony?
Work on the bugs
- If your family is hardly friendly, but you would like to fix the situation, it is important not to give up and to try to bring back happiness to the family.
- To begin to speak frankly with each other. Find out the objectives and desires of each other. If your overall goal - the preservation of the family, joint efforts to move forward.
- Try to sincerely forgive each other for all the past grievances and forgive yourself. New life can not be loaded with old problems. In the future, never recalls what it was before. If you started with a clean slate, the past must be forgotten.
- Remember that the most frequent cause of quarrels. Together eliminate these problems.
- Try to be forgiving to the spouse and hard on yourself. Do not push and do not give in to provocations. If both spouses learn to remain calm, a quarrel is much less.
- Take care of each other. All the hurtful words that you previously allowed to be excluded. If you continue to offend and insult each other, everything will only get worse.
- Be responsible. It depends on you, not only your destiny. But the fate of your children. You do not want your children to remember only the eternal scandals? Then, in any case, do not swear at children.
- If the quarrel happened yet, do not declare each other baykot the week or month. Do you have enough, and a few hours to cool off. Do not hesitate to approach the first to make peace. Make it a rule not to go to sleep without making peace.
The main thing in family life is still not the ability to put up, and the ability not to quarrel. Be wise, kind to one another, then many clouds pass over your head, did not bother thunderstorms.
- Family Psychology