When the relationship is just beginning, I would like to think that this love - forever. But statistics is relentless: almost half of marriages end in divorce. Former spouses are usually blamed for the broken marriage to each other, but as a rule, parting - a consequence of error of two instead of one. So, you should learn from the lessons of this situation and move on.
Why break up marriages?
There are not many reasons why people get divorced. One of the most common causes of divorce - dissimilarity of characters or insurmountable contradictions. Simply put, people are not suited to each other and can not agree among themselves. As a rule, for this reason divorced couple who once rushed to the marriage: the charm of love has passed, and it turned out that the spouses are too different to be together. Well, if the awareness of the incompatibility occurs relatively early, when it is still possible to change something in their lives. Much sadder if by that time the couple had already had children, whose parents' divorce - always stressful
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In second place in the global statistics - partner relationship: alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling
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. To live with a dependent person is very difficult, and sometimes downright dangerous. Divorce in such a situation - a real salvation. In some countries, the dependence of the partner is the leading cause of divorce, which is leading by a wide margin.
Often marriages fail because of financial problems. The lack of money or lack of their own homes - a difficult test for the family, and not all of it can pass the test. Also, money is the reason for divorce if the marriage took place on the calculation and this calculation is not justified.
Many couples get divorced because of sexual incompatibility. Interestingly, most of divorce serves unsatisfied sexual life of women. Men are easier to solve the problem - the plant connection on the side. Treason - is another common cause of broken marriages: not all are willing to put up with infidelity partner.
Some couples get divorced because of the interference with family relatives, the absence of children, long separation, illness of a spouse. Sometimes there are divorces and "convenience": people continue to live together, but in a civil marriage because official marriage they for some reason it becomes unprofitable.
The responsibility for the broken marriage
Many spouses before the divorce and separation process are most interested in the question of what is to blame for the fact that the marriage ceased to exist. Meanwhile, there is no point in spending time and effort to search for the guilty. In fact, it does not matter whose fault the marriage fell apart - in any case it is necessary to draw lessons from what has happened, and try not to repeat the mistakes made in the future.
Mistakes do everything and marriage with the wrong person - the same mistake. Nowadays, few people confined to a marriage, and this means that there is a good chance to arrange their own destiny. The main thing - not to repeat in the new marriage of old mistakes.
Ate relationship broke up because of the appearance of her husband's mistress, razluchnitsa often accused that she had broken marriage. Interestingly, if the reason for the divorce becomes a link on the side of a woman, a man much less a lover wife blamed the destruction of the union. Women also tend to point fingers outside the family. But "take away" a man who does not want it, it is impossible. Responsibility for treason carries betrayed spouse who has violated its own allegiance, and not the other woman.
Is it possible to glue broken cup?
Is it possible to save a marriage that breaks up? Psychologists claim that absolutely all couples experiencing periodic crises which may end in divorce. Yet many couples manage to overcome the crisis and save the marriage, that is ready is about to collapse.
To save the marriage, the need for mutual love and desire to work on a relationship. Tellingly, this desire must experience both spouses - single-handedly save the marriage impossible.
The first step is to recognize the problem and to voice her partner. Many couples prefer to pretend that everything is fine, while the relationship deteriorate before our eyes. Unfortunately, denial of problems does not lead to their resolution. On the contrary, conflicts are aggravated, the claim collected, and understand each other is becoming increasingly difficult. The couple, who find the courage to talk about the problems, there is a good chance to understand each other and save the relationship.
If an agreement is not obtained, it may be worthwhile to ask for help. And it is better, if the aid will have a professional - that is a family psychologist. By choosing a psychologist is approached very carefully: a specialist must be credible and sufficient experience in resolving family problems. Work psychologist there to listen to both sides and help the couple find a common language. Do not wait for a specialist from the ready-made recipes and specific tips: its mission is to help clients to look at the situation from a different angle and to find a solution on their own.
Acknowledge your mistakes is never easy, but the ability to take responsibility for their own actions is very important for an adult. To admit mistakes is not enough - you also need to fix them, you have to make certain steps to reunite the family. If these steps will make only one of the spouses, the situation is unlikely to change the long haul. But if you work on relationships are both, the result is bound to be.
Many happy couples admit that at one time experienced a crisis in the relationship, but were able to overcome it. Jointly overcome the difficulties typically brings couples and makes them more trusting relationship. Therefore, if the spouses are bound not only common property and common memories, and love, is to work on their relationship.
- Family Psychology