Children's fears where lives bogeyman?

Someone who lives in the closet or under the bed, rustling in the dark, harsh criticisms of teachers or parents. What do they have in common? All this - the common children's fears. It would seem that there is nothing to fear, but try explaining that to a child. He still can not distinguish the imaginary from the real, and he does not always help the words used by adults, for example - "the creaking floorboards - it's just creaking." Fortunately, parents can do a lot to help children better cope with their fears.

Various hand children's fears

Fear - is not always bad .  In fact, in some cases, it can serve as a kind of insurance policy .  Were it not for our fear, not many have survived to adulthood, and not all have lived could boast of good health .  Some of our fears are evolutionary in nature .  So many children - and adults - are afraid of snakes, regardless of whether they are toxic or not, although the city dweller for his life much more likely to see a snake on the TV screen than in real life .  This fear was necessary for the survival of our ancestors, which is why many children and adults are still shudder at the sight of the branches, like a snake - it is one of the oldest defensive reactions, which can be very useful, if you go to relax in nature, away from the well-trodden tourist trails .  The same applies to fear of different sounds in the dark - they are now usually do not bear danger, but thousands of years ago, they could mean that the beast lurking in the shadows, which need to be protected .  Sometimes children are a response to the fears experienced by the negative experience; They can persist into adulthood, although it is usually a person learns more or less effectively control them .

What causes fear in infants and young children:

• Loud noises and sudden movements in the field of view;
• Strangers;
• Large objects with vague outlines (large from the point of view of a child - an adult they can be quite small);
• Parting with loved ones (usually - with the mother);
• Changes in the building.

Widespread fears of preschool children:

• Darkness;
• The sounds in the dark;
• Masks;
• Monsters and spirits;
• Animals.

Widespread fears of school-age children:

• Snakes and spiders;
• Storms and other natural disasters;
• Staying at home alone;
• The fear of the wrath of teachers and other adults;
• Scary news and movies;
• Injury, illness, doctors, or death;
• Fear of failure and fear of rejection.

Fears of infants and young children

In an ideal situation the world baby surrounded by robust walls of parental care, and filled with a sense of peace and security. All that somehow violates a picture of the world - loud noises, strangers, and so on - can cause fear. The easiest way not to provoke fear - to arrange a peaceful, predictable from the point of view of the child's life. The number of people who take care of a small child should be limited to parents and a few closest people. Constant maintenance of communication with your child - through eye contact, touch, talk - also helps him feel that he is safe. This last point is most important. Some moms manage to travel a lot and lead an active life with young children, and in spite of frequent anxiety barter situation Anxiety - how to distinguish normal from disease?   the child does not increase - it happens when the mother (father or another person who cares for the child) helps him in any place to feel comfortable.

Fears of children of preschool age

When the child's world expands, he begins to be afraid of new places and people. Sometimes these fears are associated with real-world experience, sometimes - the result of the game of imagination. At this age, children are not able to effectively soothe themselves - in this they need help from their parents. If the child is afraid of the dark room, go there together, holding his hand to make sure that there is nothing to worry about. It is advisable not to turn on the lights, and just walk through a dark room. When his eyes adjusted to the darkness, you show your child that all things are as well as the light, and nothing has changed, except the lighting. Read the book of the child before bedtime Dreams: how to understand our dreams   by flashlight. Gradually, he changed the attitude towards the dark, and he realizes that dark room lit only different in that it is dark.

Avoid harsh methods to combat the fears. For example, closing a child in a dark room that he was convinced that no one was there, not in any case: firstly, because of stress How to beat stress? Create an oasis   the imagination of a child can draw such horrors, which could be the envy of Stephen King, and secondly, after this experience of losing a child can trust the parents.

If the child is afraid of dogs, do not offer him a right to come up and pet the dog another (even if you are sure that this dog - a good animal). Let the child will first consider a dog from the side, will determine whether it wags its tail (explain to him that this is usually a sign of position on the part of the dog), and say hello to her, keeping at a distance. When to come closer, the child must decide for himself.

Fight with all other fears, too, should be gradual, otherwise the result will be opposite the expected.

Fears students

Thanks to information sources around us students feel fear (not unfounded) the dangers of the outside world - fire, thieves, war, storms, and so on.

If the child is afraid of natural disasters, it is wise to check with him a guide for people caught in the zone of tornadoes, earthquakes, and so on .  Even if in your area such disasters does not happen, do it - firstly, it will give your child the opportunity to say their own fears, and this is of great therapeutic value; Second, you can with your child to see where are usually tornadoes and earthquakes, and explain to him that, while you are at home, these disasters will not threaten .  (Do not try to stop the fear words like "do not worry, we have earthquakes would not happen" - the child does not get rid of the fear, but in the future it will be all the less likely to turn to you with their problems) .  If your child has a fear of thieves or punishment in school is to talk with your child about what happens if something does happen from this .  For example, explain to him that in the case of robbery to help the police (if your property is insured - tell us in general terms and about it), penalties in the school can be avoided if a good student, and in any case, because of two or comments in the diary you love baby do not stop .  Do not try to get rid of simple words, for example - do not be afraid, there's nothing wrong .  Calmly explain to the child that can really happen in a situation where he's scared, and how you can avoid the worst scenario .  So you teach him not to suppress their fears and face them and analyze them - this is a very useful skill for the child and adult .