Sexual curiosity in children: taboo subjects

April 16, 2012

 sexual curiosity of children
 If children become interested in their body parts, it is quite normal. One day your kid will find that touching the genitals - it's nice and you will be alarmed when you see that the child touches himself in a diaper (whether it is clean or dirty).

 Sexual curiosity in children: taboo subjects

Interest and study of their body parts - is quite normal in young children. Questions about where the body parts taken from them, or their brothers and sisters, too, are natural. When it comes time to talk to children about this topic, experts recommend that adhere to the following guidelines.

  • Parents should give the child to understand that the main source of information on these matters are only they, and not the neighbor's child or other unreliable sources. Use conventional vocabulary to describe sexual organs (penis and vagina), and unadorned language that allows your child to avoid embarrassment when he heard these words somewhere in a public place. The use of such words does not in itself jeopardize your child's innocence. Parents must instill in the child respect for his body and the functions that it performs. You should not feel shame or embarrassment while talking to your child about body parts. It also means that parents should teach their children how to deal with your body.
  • The child should know that such things are best discussed at home with Mom and Dad, but not with the neighborhood children. If you suddenly find that your child learns his genitals with a friend, do not panic. This display is quite adequate curiosity, only to have to practice. This situation is simply to remind your child that they see the body of the child shall be entitled only to the parents, the doctor or the child, but not strangers. We must warn the child that if someone tries to touch his intimate bodies, it must noisy protest to escape and tell his parents about the incident as soon as possible. Children need to be assured that you will not get angry and upset if something like that happens.
  • Provide information as required. The child is not necessarily listen to all of the sexual system at a time. The child will either be struck or he will be bored if you try to explain too much in one sitting.

 Sexual curiosity in children: taboo subjects


If the child uses profanity, react adequately, do not worry. Unfortunately, our culture is full of indecent images, which destroy the normal world, beauty and sexuality, and you can not completely isolate the child from these negative influences, as if you did not want.

As a result, the child can hear the indecent expressions in the yard, even at an early age (be careful as to what kind of language use at home - it is in any case should not provoke the use of obscene words).

If unpleasant situation still occurred, parents should remain calm. It is unlikely that even a child understands what he said. Quite simply, as in the quiz asks the child the question "Do you know what that means? "Most often children are not interested in what is said, but how it is said, and in fact, the child does not even realize that the mention of sexuality Nine ways to experience their sexuality  Nine ways to experience their sexuality
   or used the profanity.

Parents should calmly explain to your child that the words he / she has just said, are not used in their family, and they do not need to say any house, nor in any other place. It is necessary to emphasize that these words and expressions can hurt other people and upset them, or even scare.

If a child uses indecent expressions, even after your conversation with him, you will have to take appropriate measures. If children continue to persist, and after two or three reminders, tell him that the consequences of waiting for him the next time, and be sure to make you this promise, if need be. If the child begins to use coarse and obscene language, parents should immediately begin re-education of the child and hold a decisive conversation with the person who may have a negative effect on the child.

Article Tags:
  • puberty child

Styles of family education: how to take a stand?

May 26, 2012

  • Styles of family education: how to take a stand?
  • Authoritative
  • Permissive
  • Laodicean
  • Formation of the child's personality

 styles of family education
 Psychologists have long been interested in how parents influence the development of the child, because that parents have the greatest influence on their children's lives, no doubt. Understanding the parents of what children need to think how they need to learn and how they need to be nurtured, is crucial in shaping the future behaviors of growing children. Factors such as genes, environment, culture, gender, and financial position, are less important.

Studies show that there is a relationship between the parent parenting style and academic performance of the child in school, his sexual activity is likely to be involved in criminal activity, aggression, depression, alcohol and drug use, as well as its level of self-esteem.

But to establish the actual cause-and-effect relationship between specific actions of parents and children's behavior is very difficult, because sometimes between people who grew up in very different circumstances, then there is a striking resemblance to the character. And vice versa - the children brought up in a family in the same conditions, can grow quite dissimilar.


Despite these difficulties, the researchers found a strong relation between the style of family education and the influence of this style on the formation of the child's personality. In the early 1960s, it has been allocated four important aspects of education (family upbringing style settings):

  • strategy of establishing and maintaining discipline;
  • a manifestation of parental warmth and care;
  • mode of communication;
  • expectations placed on the child

Based on these criteria, psychologists have suggested that most parents use one of the three main parenting styles: authoritarian, authoritative and permissive. In the future, as a result of additional research, these three styles added the fourth - the indifferent.


Authoritarian Style

For this style of family education is characterized by strict discipline and strict adherence to the rules of a child, a parent- .  Parents give instructions and orders, while not paying attention to the views of children, and not recognizing the possibility of a compromise .  In such families are highly valued obedience, respect and adherence to traditions .  Rules are not discussed ("Because I said so (a)") .  It is believed that parents are always right, and disobedience is punished, often physically .  Expectations of parents of children and their requirements are very high .  Communication in the "parent-child" prevails over communion "child-parent" .  Since children avoid punishment constantly obey their parents, they become passive .  Authoritarian parents also expect more maturity from their children than is typical for their age .  The activity of the children is very low, since the approach to education targeted at parents and the needs and requirements .


Key Features Style

Authoritarian parents:

  • establish strict rules and high standards;
  • placing high expectations for your child, but do not listen to his needs;
  • kept in the expression of feelings, do not express the warmth and care;
  • often resort to punishment with a minimum of explanation, or no;
  • do not leave your child select or freedom of action.



Used parents parenting style influences the nature and the various spheres of life, including its social (communication) skills and academic performance.

Children of authoritarian parents:

  • They believe that obedience and submission - the only way to earn the love and acceptance;
  • Some children exhibit aggressive behavior outside the home;
  • not sure of his success, less balanced and less persistent in achieving the goal, and have low self-esteem;
  • often afraid or embarrassed to other people, especially strangers;
  • they lack the social adaptation, they rarely initiate any activities.


Authoritarian parenting style, "for" and "against"

Since authoritarian parents expect absolute obedience, children who grow up in such a family, as a rule, very well able to follow the rules. However, while they may be a shortage or total lack of self-discipline. Unlike children raised by authoritative parents, children of authoritarian parents do not love and are afraid to take the initiative and act independently, so they never learn to set their own limits and personal standards.

Although psychologists development experts agree that children need rules and regulations, the majority believe that authoritarian parenting too hard; this style lacks warmth, unconditional love and care needed by children.