Dream

Son - another topic for debate. Many grandmothers difficult to reconcile with the fact that babies placed to sleep on his back: they believe that it is dangerous, because a child can dream Dreams: how to understand our dreams   choke on saliva. Grandma placed the kids sleep on the tummy, but in this case it is necessary to be firm because it is not just a mother's preferences, and the recommendations of pediatricians.

But other grandmothers worried that my mother puts a child to sleep with you in bed. Twenty or thirty years ago it was not accepted. Many grandmothers believe that it is dangerous, they are afraid that the child will not be able to sleep afterwards without a mother, and are confident that the presence of the child in the marital bed interferes with the relationship with her husband.

• How do I report my point of view

Expert advice: if you are not able to properly explain why you are totally against this or that practice, let her grandmother read a book or article that you influenced. It is important that my grandmother understood your point of view. No need to say: "Everything will be as I said! ". There are different points of view, each generation has its own view on the education of children, but pediatrics and child psychology does not stand still, so sometimes you need to "pull" the formation of grandparents.

Psychiatrists recommended to involve grandparents in a child's world, so they can see that all of these "new-fangled stuff" really effective. Ask them to accompany you and your child on reception at the pediatrician, invite them to kindergarten and school. When grandparents are actively involved in a child's life, they are likely to understand and accept your views on education.

Feeding

The study showed that over a third of today's mothers feed their child differently than feeding them, which, of course, is an active disapproval of his grandmother. Even my grandmother, in due time to breastfeed often oppose breastfeeding, stating that if a woman has too hard, it is better to abandon the idea. For example, if due to breastfeeding mothers have no time to eat, sleep and do something in addition to the child may not be worth bringing this sacrifice?

Most modern moms do not agree with this view and continue to breastfeed up to sixteen months. Yes, they have hard, especially at first, but they are very happy with the result. Ultimately, they are glad that did not have to mess around with a bottle, look for a proper infant nutrition. In addition, milk is useful for the child's mother and close contact during feeding helps establish between the mother and the baby emotional intimacy.

• How to defend your point of view

Expert advice: no matter what tries to make you make a grandmother - breastfeeding, feeding him from a bottle, give the baby rice cereal to four months, just say: "I know that this method of feeding has been effective for you, but I like it not suitable. " That is, you acknowledge the validity of the methods chosen by it, but politely refuse them. So my grandmother would not feel offended because her methods seem wrong to you (that is, you consider it a bad mother). You agree that its methods have their place, but they are not particularly suited to you. This is an honest and direct answer that will tell her - without rudeness or insults - that the question is closed and not subject to discussion.

Why unhappy grandmother

• "I like to sit with her grandson, but do not count on me."
• "We should not consider me an idiot - I know how to change diapers."
• "Turn off the TV when I come to visit."
• "It is not passed on to me the duty to discipline the child."
• "I can not stand when I was accused of, I indulge her grandson."

What does she say ... what you hear

• What does your mother ... You did not anoint Vaseline Vaseline: old friend   ass baby?
• What do you hear ... You're doing wrong.
• What she wants to say ... I do everything differently.

• What does your mom ... In six weeks you've eaten solid food.
• What do you hear ... Mom does not understand the formula.
• What she wants to say ... Times have changed.

• What does your mother ... You were such a quiet child.
• What do you hear ... Your child also would be relaxed if you know how to handle it.
• What she wants to say ... I just remember.

Education yesterday and today

Yesterday:

• The child sleeps on his stomach
• Guru: Dr. Spock
• Feeding bottles should be sterilized
• Feeding schedule
• Daylight porridge with the sixth week
• Potty training a year
• Corporal punishment
• Putting a child in the car belt
• Sunburns

Today:

• The child sleeps on his back
• Guru: Internet
• Plastic bottles can be washed in the dishwasher
• Feeding on demand
• Daylight porridge from the sixth month
• Potty training in three years
• Timeout
• Transportation of a child in a special seat
• Sunscreen

When the world revolves around the child - how to find time for yourself

While most grandmothers admired the ability to combine the role of the daughter of a business woman, housewife and mother, they are alarmed by how little time she had left her husband and herself. For many women, the older generation in the first place is always a man, a husband, and then comes the baby and everything. If you think of this modern woman, she just osmeet you. In the first place she always child's interests and needs. The study found that more than a third of grandmothers believed that her daughter's life revolves around the child, and it does not cause them much enthusiasm.

If a modern woman is not busy working, she is busy with the child or family. Rarely, very rarely, she spends time alone and engaged him. Oddly enough, but many grandmothers that attitude to life displeases: they believe that the daughter is young and should spend more time with friends, engage in hobbies or read. Grandmothers outraged that while the daughter is engaged in child and household, her husband finds time to sit at the computer, playing video games, paintball and doing other such things as useless.

Expert advice: listen to the grandmother in this matter. It is true that because of attempts to find a balance between work and family, many mothers do not have time for yourself, it is very important to be able to find the time. Besides, if you do something for yourself, you will have more patience and energy to family. You will become a better mother and wife and a happy person. And your mom's right - you should devote more time and attention to her husband.

No relationship will not withstand the clock "test baby" when you do not leave the baby for a minute, take it with you to the restaurant, where the husband invites you to a romantic date Romantic date - add an element of surprise And a vacation where favorite hoped finally to stay with you together. Parents should find time and opportunity for intimacy. Tell the mother that she was right, you really need to do a manicure or take a romantic weekend with my husband, and perhaps she kindly offered to look after the child in your absence.

Fun and games

At the time of your childhood you thought that you were lucky if you managed to once a week to go to a dance lesson or your closet crammed with toys. Modern children are different: they visit several clubs and courses, their room is like a branch shop of toys: dolls, cars, soft toys, all sorts of interesting gizmos and gadgets. Two-thirds of grandparents believe their grandchildren are spoiled: they have too many toys and time for games. It's not that your parents feel sorry for money for toys. No, just the grandparents believe that if the baby is growing in the greenhouse environment, when he first demand buy your favorite toy, and the handle of the drive from one circle to another, it does not grow independent and can not understand what he likes really that pleasure.

Grandmothers sure too rigid schedule - dancing, aerobics, swimming, foreign languages ​​- is harmful to the child, because he did not have time for yourself, time to stop and think, and what I like? The child should ask themselves this question, to develop, to become a person. Often, when the TV is off and the mother who is cooking, the child does not know what to do. Not to mention the fact that such a comprehensive development of the child is very tiring for the parents.

• How to find a middle ground

Expert advice: in this matter experts fully support the older generation. It is not necessary to load children under four years of developmental activities - they develop their own completely natural way. American study shows that between 1981 and 1987 the free time of children aged three years decreased by 25% (corresponding to 12 hours per week), the games in the fresh air was reduced by 50%, whereas the time spent for the planned sessions, particularly sporting character has doubled. The study was put schedule 3600 children and their families. What do children need? They need a childhood, a normal childhood, with broken knees, crying and resentment. They have to climb on the house and its surroundings, learn to find a common language with other children and adults.

Nevertheless, we should not be left to the child yourself, you need to drive it in the developmental activities, but not on everything. Psychologists also recommend limiting the number of sessions per week two, because the child may be tired, capricious or hornier. If you still want to complete the chores every day of the week, ensure that that the child remained free time Mezhuyev activities. You can find educational classes and at home, such as painting, folding cubes and puzzles - this will distract the child when he is tired or when he gets bored occupation.

Do not forget the grandmother call her and ask when it will be able to come and spend time with her beloved grandchild?