- Different generations - different parenting styles
- Sleep and feeding
- Find time for yourself
- Why unhappy grandmother
Many women after giving birth to first child, in no hurry to acquaint him with my grandfather and grandmother especially. They know that my mother will immediately begin to command, leaving them no chance of their own to learn to be a mother.
There is no doubt that your mom has prepared an opinion on any bill: how to dress the baby (it is cold), feed (keep your child longer in each breast), when and where he needs to sleep (you put your baby to bed with? A it will not fall?)
Since time immemorial, there are contradictions between the generations, and it is quite natural. Grandma is bending over backwards to share worldly wisdom, but the newly formed mother did not hurry to take advantage of its advice and does not want to have a cradle behind her shadow loomed another woman. First felt the joy of motherhood, a woman wants to get the recognition of others in this new role for her without help.
On top of that, times have changed. What worked for Grandma thirty years ago, now seems outdated, absurd, or even dangerous. As a consequence, we have disputes about everything: how best to soothe a crying baby as put him to bed, as it is to feed, bathe, how to encourage and punish, finally. These conflicts do not destroy the relationship, but they will create tension. As if to take care of a newborn is easy, and my mother has the strength to fight in-law
In-law - a survival strategy
or his own mother.
Fortunately, there is good news: the grandmother, the majority believe that we, the parents, copes with its task. They admire the ability of modern women to combine child education
Raising a child: who will win?
, Career, personal care and housekeeping, as well as the desire to turn life into a holiday for themselves and their loved ones. Moreover, many grandmother's soul spare their daughters and daughters, because they are destined to live in such a difficult time.
To help my mother and grandmother to find a common language, the researchers surveyed more than 2,000 grandparents and asked them to share their views on education. Experts analyzed these views revealed "stumbling blocks" - the most contentious issues in the education of children - and suggested options out of the situation (or at least a compromise).
Discipline and punishment
The survey showed that it is a discipline often becomes the subject of a dispute between the newly-made mother and grandmother. Most grandparents said that the methods of discipline used by their daughter or daughter in law, inconsistent and insufficiently rigorous.
Modern Mom wants to be a friend for your child and discuss his (bad) behavior on an equal footing, and my grandmother at the time insisted on a strict upbringing and considered the child's behavior from the perspective of the parent. According to many of the older generation, the main problem of modern parents that in their view there is no hardness, which, as it says, "Do not try my patience! ". Grandmothers are confident that austerity and authoritarian parenting style is very effective, as evidenced by find success in life for their children.
Who is the head in this house
Psychologists confirm that the mothers of the twentieth century tried hard to emphasize his authority. This method of building their education: corporal punishment, such as flogging, stern look, a curfew. Moms twenty-first century have focused on the negotiations. For example, young mothers often complain that in-law "urges" to physically punish children from 4 to 7 years, and encourage them to be more stringent. If her advice unheeded, she begins to wipe his feet on the daughter, considering it weak and spineless. Of course, the strength of character should be even with small children, but the physical punishment can not be considered.
Expert advice: if your mother criticized your methods of discipline, try to catch her words a grain of common sense - even if you decide to ignore her actual advice. For example, maybe you gave her daughter five good reasons not to beat little sister on the head with a rattle, a baby crying but argues that she did not listen to you. In this situation, your mom may propose to punish the child as you do not like, for example, to spank her on the pope, but the fact is that your parenting practices are not effective. Listen carefully to the words of his mother, objectively recognize what she is right, and then offered his own solution. So, you can say, "Yes, you're right, my daughter is not listening. But I'm not going to try to reason with her, I'll take a time-out. "