How to choose a husband to get happy marriage?

November 30, 2013

 How to choose a husband
 Choosing a life partner has always been a serious problem. And although modern women can afford to marry many times, no one wants to make unnecessary mistakes. Therefore, the question of how to choose a husband to further not regret this choice remains open. What should I look for when choosing a spouse?

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Intoxicating feeling of love

Almost all the girls want to marry for love. Of course, love - a wonderful feeling that can highlight a boring everyday life with new colors and fill life with meaning. And, of course, love is necessarily necessary for a happy married life. Yet one love is not enough.

Marriages are built on love alone, short-lived and, oddly enough, is not particularly happy. Much more important is the compatibility of the couple and their capacity for understanding. And in order to determine whether such compatibility should look closely at the potential husband, throwing at the time of disturbing emotions Emotions and culture: how to decipher the emotional code  Emotions and culture: how to decipher the emotional code
 .

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Parent Family

No wonder parents are at all times looking for husbands for their daughters of good families. Habits and character traits of adults are usually from childhood. And if the family of origin were adopted disrespect, it is unlikely that a man will be with respect to his wife - he's just not used to this kind of relationship. If the parents of the husband in the family thrive dependent relationship, it is not excluded, who he will strive to the same way of life and his family. And if the parents give the impression of a potential spouse cold and detached people are unlikely to have to wait on the man warm-heartedness.

Of course, children do not always repeat the fate of their parents. The nature of man is influenced by not only the mother and father, but other relatives as well as strangers. Yet the relations parents future husband should look at more closely.

In addition, should pay attention to the ratio of men to children - for example to the younger brothers and sisters, nephews. Caring and friendly attitude to children - a sign that your offspring will be treated as such a man.

It is worth to know about the health of relatives of a potential husband. Perhaps the family have any medical conditions that may lead to the fact that children will be born unhealthy marriage. Particular attention should be paid to mental disorders: Of course, this topic is taboo in most families, but some hints in the conversation may slip. Of course, the health of the relatives of the future wife - not a reason to leave immediately, but may have to make some adjustments to their dream of a life together.

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Compatibility

When choosing a spouse, you should look closely not only to him but also to themselves. With a suitable man woman blossoms: it is completely satisfied with their lives and not worry about the future.

If the spouses have common views, common goals and similar priorities in life, marriage will certainly be happy. It is much better to marry the right person, than to spend years in the search for a compromise on matters of principle. Even before marriage, it would be good to find out what a man dreams of and what he does for his dreams. As he imagines family life? How he plans to rest? As it relates to children? What do you expect from a wife? What behavior considers it appropriate in any given situation? The list of questions can be very long, but they allow you to get to know the person.

We can not remain silent about sexual compatibility Sexual compatibility: how to find your soul mate?  Sexual compatibility: how to find your soul mate?
 . As a rule, this incompatibility in sex is extremely rare. In most situations, partners can learn to take each other pleasure, be careful and if you are patient. But whether the beloved is the desire? Is he ready to make an effort to please the favorite? And maybe, in this area everything is so perfect that it is better and can not be?

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Attitude to money

According to statistics, a different attitude to money - the cause of more than a third of divorces. Stingy woman is unlikely to find a common language with spendthrift, and vice versa, wasteful woman would not be happy with the hog. It is better if the couple will complement each other with regard to money.

It is advisable before marriage about to imagine how the couple will decide money issues. Will the general budget or separate? Who will be responsible for a rational waste of money? Whose will be the last word, if there are differences relating to financial matters? What expenses will be considered necessary, and what can be saved? Answers to all these questions to get better before you hear Mendelssohn's march.

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Unsuitable options

There are several types of men with whom relations can not be happy. And especially, do not join with them in marriage, of course, if you do not want to regret in the future of its choice. These types of men:

  • Dependence. The future husband does not know the measures in alcohol? Or, even worse, drug-free life is not it nice? Or, it can not pull from the card table? In this situation, the marriage can not be considered. Moreover, it is better to leave immediately. Some women naively believe that they will turn away their warmth lover of booze, drugs and games, but this is just a very common illusion. Dependencies are incurable, and remission is possible only if he is very dependent aspires to it;
  • Psychopath. This person is able to fall into a rage because of any nonsense. It is unpredictable and terrible anger. Then he can apologize and beg forgiveness, but is repeated again and again. Prognosis is poor, marriage is better not to join;
  • Womanizer. He is indifferent to the female sex? Constantly he talks about his success with girls and manages to ogle charmer, even kissing the bride? One can hardly count on his loyalty. Those who appreciate a relationship of trust, it is better to find a more permanent gentleman.

Maria Bykov


Article Tags:
  • Family Psychology

How to avenge the betrayal and whether to do it?

November 30, 2013

 As revenge for treason
 The majority of those who claim that comfortable with the treachery, cunning: Infidelity favorite - it is always painful. Deceived wife feels betrayed, feels inadequate and painfully ponders how to avenge the betrayal to her boyfriend felt the same pain, but she was. Similar feelings experienced and deceived spouse.

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Cold calculation

The first thing to do - to calm down. Temper a lot, you can make some foolish acts for which, at best, then it will be a shame. At worst, the hapless avenger face criminal punishment. So hurry in any case not worth it: to begin to think everything through.

It is interesting that men seldom think about how to take revenge on the treacherous lover. They either forgive or (which happens more often) completely sever relations. There are those who for years reproaches unfaithful spouse, but to the place as such is not usually the case comes. Women are more bloodthirsty: they dream of severe punishment for wrong.

Ideally, the better, of course, opt out from idea to take revenge. Just get up and leave in silence, leaving the apostate bite your elbows. It would seem that this is the easiest way to solve a problem. However, not every woman is ready so instantly react and break off relations. Much more attractive it seems a good idea to first torture traitor to punish him, to continue to teach it to change, and then forgive.

History is silent on how effective such educational measures. Perhaps some men really poosteregutsya later change his beloved, so as not to lose it forever. But others will not reflect on cause-effect relationships, but simply feel that they are properly changed such harmful and foolish person.

However, even if adultery does not help influence the behavior will change, it will be useful at least that will give an opportunity to "let off steam" and calm down. It is interesting that, according to psychologists, to achieve this effect is not even required to take revenge - just to dream of revenge. If you want to be sure to act, you should all be carefully considered.

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Method one: to change in response to

"An eye for an eye" - the oldest female way of revenge, although men can take revenge in this way. But to call the betrayal of revenge good idea difficult. Typically, such betrayal does not bring any pleasure avenger. On the contrary, there is a feeling of disgust. It turns out unfairly: she did not punish the traitor, and herself. If the link on the side would be nice, there is a risk to fall in love in a hurry to choose a partner and as a result buy many new problems. Men, too, are rarely satisfied with this method of revenge.

Invalid partner can not recognize his guilt and be offended and leave, knowing that he, too, have changed. Of course, it can not change its reporting, but then the moral satisfaction of revenge will be far less. In addition, there is always the possibility that secret revealed.

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Method two: Petty Tricks

People can be very creative in their quest to spoil the life of the beloved man recently. Among the most popular of dirty tricks are:

  • Pour in coffee laxative;
  • Lost TV remote;
  • "Random" damage a laptop or expensive gadget;
  • Pour sugar into the gas tank of the machine;
  • Use a toothbrush Toothbrushes - make no mistake in choosing  Toothbrushes - make no mistake in choosing
   unfaithful husband to clean cat litter;
  • Using expensive creams wife for cleaning footwear;
  • Ads with contacts offender on a dating site for people with different sexual orientation;
  • Raw egg introduced via syringe under an upholstery seat with his or her car;
  • Little shrimp, accidentally forgotten somewhere on the cornices, and much, much more.

Most often, so "fun" ladies. All of these actions allow somehow occupy and distract himself from the pain. A significant drawback of minor mischief that this method does not bring the satisfaction of revenge for a long time. Is it possible to compare the pain of betrayal and anger due to a missing remote control from the TV? It's just a lack of respect their feelings.

Note that minor mischief did not help to improve relations. A rare man will suffer for a long time such behavior girlfriend or wife. Start scandals, and a reproach, "You cheated on me! "Deceiver will always be able to provide a list of their grievances.

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Method three: pretend to be happy (happy)

Changed? Eka wonder! And cheated partner is not in a hurry to tear his hair and tears to irrigate shoes apostate: he quietly going about their business, something absent-mindedly humming. From it emanates such peace and a serenity that necessarily reflects a liar: but does it for her anything?

This method of revenge, too has its drawbacks. Change a woman certainly reveal fraud. I love a man can simply not notice a happy kind of wife. He can be delighted that his actions go unpunished and continue in the same spirit in the future. Finally, it can be offended and go to his mistress forever.

In addition, for such pretense is truly needed nerves of steel and good acting skills. Otherwise, the whole game will look helpless and sorry - the mountain in the eyes of the deceived partner will desperately discordant with his happy way.

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Method four: to do with their lives

Of course, this method is the most reliable and efficient. First, do not have to grovel, plotting traitor: life itself will punish him, and eventually he will realize that he lost his happiness. Second, this approach is more constructive: it deceived partner actions are intended to create, to build their lives, rather than something to destroy the life of the beloved.

And let revenge may have to wait a few years - the dream of the moment when the apostate realizes his mistake, will help sustain any tests. And it is likely that over time do not have to put absolutely no effort to demonstrate their indifference to the man who once struck offense: it will be completely indifferent sincere. For such a result is to work on building their own happy life.

Maria Bykov


Article Tags:
  • treason,
  • revenge




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