Love Triangle: geometry relations
May 12, 2011
On the night of 30 on August 31, 1997 died one of the most prominent women in history - Diana, former wife of Prince Charles of Wales. She was riding in a car with his son Egyptian billionaire Dodi Al Fayed, who, as it turned out, was with her in the relationship. Princess Diana during his short life was a component part of many love triangles. Perhaps the fatal accident would not have happened, if at least some love troubles Princess of Wales in time finds its solution.
If at the top - woman
No matter how many women said that the betrayal - the prerogative of men only that "all men equal" ladies themselves err on the side of connections only slightly less (according to statistics Forty-one percent of wives against sixty percent of men). The reasons for this phenomenon may be different - the extinction of feelings to the spouse, serious emotional and spiritual affection, sex, desire to avenge her husband and others.
The fact remains - a love triangle involving two men and one woman, are not uncommon. Suffice it to recall just a few well-known examples: in literature - Vladimir Mayakovsky, Osip Brik and Lily; in the music world - Pattie Boyd, Eric Clapton and George Harrison; among the characters of movies - Scarlett O'Hara, Red Butler and Ashley Wilkes and others.
At the same time, as a rule, such a situation is different psychological strength - primarily due to settings dictated by society: the woman - mother, wife, homemakers, sample benefactors and moral stability. Shame and remorse to the family, the community finally to itself - factors that make this kind of love triangle short and fleeting.
In addition, there is hardly a man who will tolerate the presence of the third - at least, due to the fact that nature has in it the ability to protect and safeguard their property. Therefore, a love triangle, "He, She and It" there is usually only as long as her husband is still in the dark.
If at the top - man
Quite a different situation may occur when there is a husband's mistress. This situation can last for years. And not because all men - born James Bond, who easily cover their tracks and leave no clues at the crime scene. Rather, because much less remorse, again because of stereotypes - men are polygamous by nature, at least one mistress is a must if only to feel strong and valid.
This does not mean that there is another woman in his life, just as a way of self-affirmation. Despite the fact that in the first place among the causes of male adultery
Causes of male adultery: can argue with nature?
usually put dissatisfaction with sex life with his wife, still much more likely to have a long relationship mistress understanding, loving, tender - the complete opposite of his wife, who for many years together managed to order podnadoest.
Moreover, the presence of two women a man often arranges and does not cause remorse. According to his reasoning, he does not suffer from any one of them: the wife should be happy because he is a good father, provider and source of family income. Mistress - because it is the only one he really loves. And out of the situation, most men look no plans.
Will the love triangle Bermuda?
Meanwhile, sooner or later have to make a decision because, being in different corners of the triangle, suffer, as a rule, everything. Change wife suffers pangs of conscience, especially if the husband - a decent family man and loving father. His wife who betrayed her husband, tormented herself with questions - what, how could he, it's better than what I did wrong?
The deceived husband can forgive a woman only if the great love, the infinite understanding or because of having children together. Meanwhile, inflicting hurt hardly ever be forgotten completely. Suffering and the husband has changed, because sooner or later begins the pressure from both his mistress and his wife. Finally, suffering and others - those whose love to spend evenings and weekends with family, highlighting for secret meetings only rare hours.
Out of a love triangle, each family is looking for self-sacrificing one of its sides. And if possible while maintaining dignity and respect for each other, do not cause injury to children - it is a great success, to strive.
How to become a leader: that is, that does not take away
April 28, 2011
It is hardly possible to say that all, without exception, want to be leaders everywhere and always, but the fact that everyone wants to become a leader either in the professional field, whether in interpersonal communication, whether in more of a sphere, denying silly . Another thing is that wanting a lot, and true leaders in the order of magnitude smaller. But psychologists say that a leader can not be the only one who has a natural innate set of relevant personal qualities. Like, a leader capable of becoming virtually everyone.
Who is a leader
The leader is called a person who has in any group of people, formal or informal, the greatest authority recognized by most members of the group, and which is able to direct the action of the group as a whole and its individual members in one direction or another, to organize the group's activities by certain rules and control their execution. In other words, the leader - a man who listens to the majority who makes decisions and is responsible for their results.
As leaders appear in a variety of composition, the nature of the participants and the activities of the group, then the leaders can be very different, both in form and content
. Leaders may be different for a variety of parameters
. So, you'll find most of the division leaders leadership style, leadership style - anarchic, democratic, authoritarian
. Also, the leaders are divided into formal (in terms of formal groups and occupied positions in it) and informal (or in informal groups, or in a formal group, but without the corresponding post)
. And here it is necessary to emphasize that the concept of "leader" and "manager" are close in value, but not synonymous, there are leaders are not leaders and managers not leaders
. You can lead the classification in other areas: the nature of the activities (universal, that is a permanent or situational leader), the content of the activities (a leader who inspires and guides the leader who submits an example of the case), and so on
. Also recently gaining popularity, especially among the business community, situational leadership theory, according to which there are two equal and in different situations equally effective models of leadership: leaders are focused on achieving this goal, and leaders focused on building and maintaining optimal relationships in the group
Qualities of a Leader
Decide who is a leader, that is something to strive for, povernёm conversation toward what needs to be a leader, what are the qualities that distinguish a person from the group and bring him to the status of a leader. One can argue which of these qualities are more important and which less, but the result will not be because it turns out that they are all equally important. Therefore, in any order, and not according to some hierarchy briefly list these attributes, without which the leader is not a leader:
- the ability to set a goal: this depends largely on the success and the leader of his group, because you can set a goal too simple, the achievement of which will not bring the group and its leader, the special dividend, and you can aim a blow at something quite unrealistic and futile attempts to get a star from the sky in After all, the collapse of the team;
- intellectual ability, education: not only that the leader has to be smart, it should not stop in its development, because the high intellectual and educational status - one of the main conditions of high authority;
- ability to make decisions and take responsibility for them: give instructions to command and can all but decide in a situation where a lot of this decision depends, it is a sign of a true leader. However, not least the ability to take responsibility and the ability to carry this responsibility, and in case of failure and age-old question "Who is to blame? "Do not throw up your hands, and honestly say," I'm the leader here, so my fault ";
- the ability to recognize their mistakes: it is difficult for everyone, but for the leader of this vital quality - if it is not necessarily shifting them on someone's shoulders, which ultimately undermines any leader;
- organizational and communication skills without this man can not be a leader, because in order to unite a group around him and lead it, you, first, by communicating with the majority of team members to enlist their support, and secondly, to organize their activities, arrange for items to formulate a common goal and specific tasks, that is, to show the talent of the organizer;
- combination of confidence and steadiness: Ideally, these two qualities have to be sides of a coin, to leadership qualities and the ability to insist on his interfere with the ability to soberly assess the situation and not to cut straight from the shoulder.
Education of a Leader
All these qualities are great, but most people, an example of them to her, honestly say that maybe some are inherent to them, but to the whole set at once ... But, as psychologists say, the quality is not there a genetic way to educate them in person a vital necessity. And in this way the first and most important step - to objectively evaluate yourself, go through the list of his qualities and determine exactly what is missing in order to become a leader. When you have a specific purpose, for example, to develop communication skills, organizational skills to raise the level of education, and not vague ephemeral dreams, "Oh, I would be a leader ..." progress is a thousand times faster.
This will be very useful not to rely only on themselves, but also to ask family and friends what qualities are present in itself and which are absent - by the fact more visible
. Then, no less important and complicated matter - believe that the way to become a leader of self and self-control can be
. No serious business (and the change in itself is a very serious matter) will not succeed if it is to start without the belief in the reality of the ultimate goal
. However, it needs to be and more realistic and be aware that it is impossible to become a leader, visiting one of the most actively advertised pseudopsychological training, which organizers promise this week to blind you from the leader pomastitee Churchill, Napoleon and Caesar together
. This process will be long and difficult
. However, first of all, you need to think about that, varying in terms of acquisition of leadership skills, while remaining himself and not to sacrifice to achieving leadership in a particular field of everything else
Finally, you need to constantly train the leadership qualities that are already present or just to cultivate, you have to check and educate their practice. After all, these qualities are leadership because realized in deeds and not remain only a theoretical possibility. So do not hesitate and mark for himself the successes that happen on the way to the present leadership. For any road by just walking.