"Answer me when I'm talking to you! "Or force a child to listen to you

June 7, 2012

 how to get the child to listen
 If your child is intentionally ignoring you, pretending not to hear your requests, refuses to shake hands with you or anyone else, you need to know some tricks to cope with children's behavior, until it brought you out of yourself. Get your kids to listen to you.

Children of parents deliberately ignored because it gives them a sense of power and control over the situation. This gives them the opportunity to feel like an adult. Pretending that they can not hear you, they play on your nerves. Try to figure out what's important to you as a parent and what is important for your child.

 "Answer me when I'm talking to you! "Or force a child to listen to you

Assessment of the situation

When your child talks to you - hurt you or does not respond - try to ask yourself, "What does my child need from me right now? "Most of the necessary framework, expectations and consequences made by you so that they understand what to expect and what they risk. Believe me, they do not need moralizing or quarrel, it will only aggravate the situation and "throw wood on the fire." The only thing you need for your child - to be left alone.

Do not use force, use effective methods. Use techniques that will be useful for your child and for the family that is healthy and safe. Naturally, you will be hurt because the child who does not want to shake hands with you, or with other people, or do not want to answer the question about how his day. No need to fight with your children.

What not to do is to give children the power and inflate the scandal because of the little things. This is a bad job, as your child goes through certain stages of development and tests prescribed limits. It is also important to remember that children need to provide the right to choose and the right to independent decision-making.

You can often see teenagers who openly show discontent and become terribly naughty. And that behavior, in most cases, it looks like a riot, though it can be quite harmless and innocent. From this behavior does not suffer no one but the rules of social behavior and good manners.

Parents should be prepared to accept the challenge of the child. In some cases it is necessary to defend the opinion. If the child does not greet guests at home or refuses to comply with reasonable requests, time to remind him about the family rules.

 "Answer me when I'm talking to you! "Or force a child to listen to you

The child refuses to shake hands with other people

When children refuse to greet your guests and friends - is rude and impolite. Rudeness should be punished. After the departure of the guests tell your child: "We are good to your guests, if you do not carry the same, and our, you know what to expect." Show the possible consequences of such brutality. Let them be simple and clear. If the child will try to refute them and begin to argue, say, "Do not talk to me like that, we'll talk after you calm down" and turned around and leave the room.

 "Answer me when I'm talking to you! "Or force a child to listen to you

The child does not want to communicate with the brother / sister

If the child does not want to communicate with the brother / sister, it is unlikely you will force it. The only thing you can do is to explain to a child that age younger want to spend more time with children their own age. When you notice this behavior, you say: "You offend little brother, ignoring him." This means: "Decide you, but you insult me, the offending brother."

Do not allow children to annoy you or hurt, even passively. Explain the situation to younger children: "You know, when your older sister is tired or angry, it is no one wants to talk. I guess it's a good thing. People sometimes need to be alone to calm down. " Teach children to put up with such behavior of senior instead to stick to them.

 "Answer me when I'm talking to you! "Or force a child to listen to you

The child ignores requests to help around the house or doing homework

Children often ignore requests to turn off the TV, help with household chores or homework. So they are trying to avoid the performance of your instructions. Often without even noticing it, you turn into a "broken record", which repeats the task, "Get in the room, bring the trash, do homework."

Before you say, "Help me in the house right now! "Specify the deadline for the assignment. And then, instead of arguing, when to begin the task, you say, "If you do not cope with the task to 16:00, then the consequences will be as follows." So you give your child a choice. You can only add: "This is what happened ..." and not to quarrel with him.

This ultimatum should not sound like a punishment, but as a reasonable measure of control. "If the work will not be performed until 16:00, no video games until the job is not. And if, instead of working on the homework you will fulfill this request - your problems, lessons still have to prepare. " On the other hand, be careful with the time allotted for homework, because at that time all the gadgets child should be turned off. If the child has no homework, you should give him time to read something or teach. In other words, you need to limit your child's frequent use of gadgets: computer, game console, and so on.

 "Answer me when I'm talking to you! "Or force a child to listen to you

The child listens to me, not your precious iPod

If a child hears the player or remove the headphones when you talk to him, do not stand on ceremony - your child ignores you - he does not respect you. In this case it is necessary to stop any action until he removes the headphones. Do not try to talk to him when he's in the headphones, even if he says he listens to you - it's disrespectful. Parents need to be consistent in these cases.

Remember, mutual respect is becoming increasingly important as children grow older. Parents are very difficult and painful to deal with children who ignore them and other family members. It's just disgusting. But on the other hand, the less you will treat such children's behavior at his own expense, the easier it is to treat them in the future.

Article Tags:
  • education

If my child is lying: how to be?

June 7, 2012

 child lying
 Some parents complain that their children are constantly lying. They lie about homework, what they ate for lunch, whether or not they brush their teeth. In addition, children often exaggerate their stories look more spectacular, or made a strong impression on the audience. Sometimes the situation comes to that all parents stop trusting children. These children can not be called bad, the parents just do not understand why they are so often lie, especially when a lot easier to tell the truth. Many parents wonder, "What do you do? "

Children lie sometimes embarrassing or annoying, even many parents. Unfortunately, the vast number of children and adolescents 9-12 years often lie or tell only half the truth. Psychologists say that children lie for different reasons: to hide the consequences of their actions to avoid what they do not want to do or to feel confident with their peers. Sometimes they say the so-called "white lie" to protect other people.

 If my child is lying: how to be?

Be bold - do not be fooled

Imagine this situation. The child is talking to one of your relatives on the phone, and refers to bad communication, to end the conversation. You see that poor communication - is nothing more than an excuse, which he uses to not say, "I do not want to talk to you at the moment." You ask him why he lied. The child says he does not want to offend people, saying he did not want to. Simply put, it was easier to lie.

Some teens are not the habit to speak the truth or exaggerate stories about some of the things that is absolutely unacceptable. They think, lie, get what they want, or else they will be able to get out of a sticky situation because of lies. Like many adults, children are not telling the truth, because they think that it is not interesting. Also, children can lie to try to attract attention, to look more powerful and more attractive in the eyes of others, to get the support or sympathy, or because they lack the skills to solve problems.

 If my child is lying: how to be?

Lying about risky or dangerous behaviors

It is important to distinguish between a lie, which is used to mask the bad behavior of the child (for example, use of alcohol), and "household lie" which tells teenagers because of their habit or they just so convenient. Parents should immediately react to the lies that covers the unsafe or unlawful actions of the child. If your child is lying about dangerous things, such as use of drugs, alcohol, theft or other questionable behavior, you should seek support from the local community.

 If my child is lying: how to be?

Why does my child does not understand that the lie - it is not good?

Adolescence - a very difficult period in the life of every human being: he is trying to integrate into the society, said that he was unjustly criticized, do not understand or restrict his freedom. At this age, children are trying to look strong in the time when they are absolutely helpless. Teens face on its way to many potentially dangerous situations, which represent a challenge for them. Some children lie helps to cope with stress How to beat stress? Create an oasis  How to beat stress? Create an oasis
 They receive in their teens.

According to the American Academy of the psychology of children and adolescents, the identity of the child lie - is not a reason for concern. But the constant lies and exaggeration require attention, but not all parents know how to react in such cases.

Many parents believe lies a moral problem, but psychologists say that it is not. If your child tells a lie, you are unlikely to change their behavior, reading him a lecture about why it is wrong. In most cases, the child does not take into account your words of wisdom. On the other hand, if you are still exposed the lie of the child, you should explain to him that all know. Spend a conversation with him and try to find out what problem it is now trying to solve.

Ask your child if he tries to avoid trouble? Does he think that it is easier to lie than to be afraid of offending someone? Did he really believe that lies will help him to join the company? When a child will respond to all these questions, listen to him very carefully.

 If my child is lying: how to be?

When children lie to get rid of trouble

Most children believe that it is advisable to lie, when there is some trouble. Lying seems to be the best solution at the moment. Once you understand what your child is trying to get the benefit, using the lie, you can help him and offer the best solution. If the child is lying, to avoid trouble, for example, said that he brought garbage, but in fact it is not so easy to understand the rules of conduct specify it in your house and describe the consequences for violating those rules.

 If my child is lying: how to be?

The exaggeration and lies for the sake of falsehood

If the child is lying, not in order to avoid trouble, you may need to make a little effort to find out what's really going on. Try to start as follows: "I noticed that you often lie about things that for me personally seem strange. For example, when I asked you where the phone, you said you did not know, and you do not. Then I found it in your room. You would have been in trouble if you tell the truth. Can you explain why you lied? "

If your child is exaggerating when telling a particular story, you can ask the following: "I was interested to hear your story, but then it seemed to me that you started adding things that did not actually occur. Can you explain to me why you decided to do so? "

Of course, the child can not give you a sensible answer to these questions. Some teens just shrug their shoulders and that their view is the best answer. But, pointing to the false morality without reading and lectures, you give your child to understand that cheating will not help him to get what he wants. Thus, you also give your child understand that you know that he was not honest with you.

Children often do not realize how much pain can cause false. But you have to convey to them that even if they do not know, it gives them the right to lie. Parents should start talking to your child about truth and lies, and find out why the child has decided to cheat them. And remember that you need to concentrate on the problem that tries to solve the child, rather than reading notations about lies. You may not be able to get the child to stop this daily lie, but you give him to understand that there are other ways to solve problems.

Article Tags:
  • education