- How to help your child recover from the divorce of their parents: first of all, attention
- What should children
- How to avoid common problems
How to avoid common problems and mistakes after divorce
Single parents usually face a lot of stress during the divorce proceedings. That traps that await parents after a divorce:
You feel the lethargy and apathy? Everything that once seemed nice, do not give pleasure? If so, then you are under the influence of depression
Depression - a little more than a bad mood
Which can handle, if you make the effort. This disorder is often associated with overeating, alcohol and drug abuse, compulsive watching TV and indecent websites.
- Changing roles - parent-child
The loss of a friend (partner) because of divorce or death can force single parents to reverse roles with children and of "tutors" become "students". Parents who are looking for children for emotional support, often try to isolate them from the outside world and their peers, thereby cultivating thinking "we are against the whole world" that harms children. If it's a girl, it means that "all men are bad and unreliable" ("Look what your father has done to us?"). If it is a boy, the damage will be even greater (see. The following paragraph).
- The problem of mother-son
A single mother can bring up her son, developing in him the qualities opposite to those at her ex-husband, that is,
. trying to sculpt out of him the perfect man for himself
. To do this, it isolates the son from the father and constantly intervenes in his life under the pretext of "I sacrificed everything for you, and you owe me"
. In turn, the son realizes a system by which he can get whatever he wants: for this you need only to execute the instructions of mother
. Paradoxically, this training gives the opposite result: a man begins to be afraid of all the women who can influence his life
. At best, he will not be able to establish a healthy relationship of trust with women
. In the worst case, he was angry at all the female and will be secret misogynist, which can manifest itself in different ways (it may or may avoid any contact with women, and deliberately involve women in a relationship, and then brutally torturing, avenging received mother-of resentment)
What can you do?
Avoid these mistakes and problems is not difficult, it does not take much time. Just remember the following rules:
- Express emotions
Emotions and culture: how to decipher the emotional code
communicating with peers and not with children
If a child is for you - the main emotional support, replace it in this role someone else - a friend, relative, spiritual mentor. Do not choose an adult of the opposite sex, it was in the same situation. Each sensitive when suffering. And it is very easy to confuse sympathy with the romantic interest.
- Listen to the feelings of your children
Trying not to dwell on his own feelings and experiences, or may not notice the feelings of others. Always spend time talking about the feelings of their children. Use while traveling, preparing for bed
Dreams: how to understand our dreams
and walks to listen to the child. Try to summarize what you hear. Remember that it is time to understand your children, and do not correct them.
Children are often exposed to stress
How to beat stress? Create an oasis
because they do not trust other people - including their parents - just doing what they are told. To the children began to trust you, you keep your word and fulfill the promises on time. Careful and responsible parents can help children to renew confidence and cure loneliness.
Hugs, wiggle, shake and other movements, showing friendliness to help renew confidence. Even young men may positively take back rubbing the walls of the house. Do not be shy.
- Do not impose excessive demands to themselves
Since you do not have a partner to share parental responsibilities are not overreach. Do not try to do everything, focus on the essentials.
Dysfunctional behavior often manifests itself after the crisis. Rather than seek solace in food, alcohol, or sex, find other ways to recharge. Read a book, take a walk or enjoy a favorite sport.
Write three words that can describe it, how would you like to see your children. If writing does not coincide with reality, try to achieve that. We all have difficult times. Just be sure to have your bad days did not develop into a bad habit.
If you have a single-parent family, or if you want to prevent the occurrence of this problem - remember that life does not give guarantees. We all learn from your mistakes, your children will also have nabyut than one lump before come to the right path.
- Family Psychology