Sexual development of infants and toddlers, parents can seem very distant. But in fact, sexual development begins with the first years of a child's life. In infants and children aged one to three years, and even pre-school children of primary school age with time laid the foundation of emotional and physical sexuality, and this is a very delicate process, invisible to the eye.

When children reach a tipping physical or emotional moment in his life (learning to walk, to know mom or dad), for them comes an important stage during which they recognize acquainted and feel part of your body and realize how to adapt to other people. Emotional connection formed in childhood, help prepare your child for affection and close relationship in the future.

Understanding how children grow and learn, parents can positively influence their emotional and physical development.

Infants and children aged one to three years

The first emotional attachment babies - is the relationship with the parents, which is formed by physical contact and express their love. Infants feel support positive physical manifestation of love, when they touched, worn on the hands, kiss, hug, tickle, or pressed. Exceptional kind of physical intimacy and emotional attachment between parent and baby is the basis for the formation of physical intimacy and love, which manifests itself later as part of a mature sexuality Nine ways to experience their sexuality .

My body. Many parents go to the doctor, expressing concern that their children touch the genitals when they change a diaper (nappy) or, for example, boys often have their erections Erection - what hinders and what helps a man to be a man . Doctors believe that this behavior is perfectly normal, and argue that even infants inherent explore your body. Many children, especially those who are learning to walk, love to be naked. The reaction of the parents, their voice, used words, facial expression - one of the first lessons of sexuality to children. It is important not to react angrily, with surprise and disapproval. So you can teach children that the manifestation of curiosity to his body - a common occupation.

The difference between the sexes. For two or three years the child begins to distinguish between a boy he or girl. This difference is called gender identity. A child at this age begin to understand the difference between boys and girls and can classify themselves as male or female. Some people believe that gender identity is predetermined biologically others - consider it a product of the growth and development of the child. Most likely, the gender identity - a combination of these two factors.

At this age, children also start to distinguish some of the manners of men and women, the so-called gender roles. Gender roles - a product of our culture. What is peculiar to men? What is peculiar to women? What kind of behavior is typical of boys and men? What kind of behavior is typical for girls and women? When deciding what to teach and what children tell them about gender roles, parents need to pay attention to the information that the child receives at home and abroad.

Preschool children (3-5 years)

Most preschool children feel confident boys or girls, and continue to explore their own bodies. Do not blame them for what they have to touch yourself, as this will lead to feelings of guilt and shame. Despite this, children need to explain that, although nice touch you, this should not be done in public. Preschool children are old enough to understand that some actions should not be performed on humans, and that no one (family members or people who are trusted by the children) should not embarrass them by touching the intimate parts of the body.

Preschool children continue to learn from parents manifestation of sexual relations Sexual relations: how to bring passion : Starting with observing how adults react to a person of the opposite sex and to how adults react to nudity.

• Endless questions

Preschool children are beginning to be interested in everything, asking parents a lot of questions, such as: "Where are the children? "Or" Why is my sister do not have a penis? ".

The task of parents - to answer the questions as accurately as possible and honesty. The answer is "You brought the stork" does not quench the curiosity of the child, and the only cause mistrust of the parent when the child learns the truth (in the future, he or she is unlikely to come to the same person with similar issues).

It is necessary to find out what specifically interests of the child, and then to respond specifically to the question, without going into details that are superfluous. For example, it can be said that men and women make the child and that the child grows in the stomach of a woman. If this response will satisfy the child, you can not go into detail about how the child is born and develops.

• Games "to the doctor"

At this stage, children are not only fun to explore her body, but the body of others. If preschool children playing "doctor in" with their peers, the important task of parents - not overreact to innocent children's game (of course, if the game does not involve children or older adults, and should then take care). Easy enough to ask a child to get dressed and to distract him or her a toy or another game. Parents should take note that they are interested in information about the child's body, and should help to meet his curiosity in other ways, for example, read a children's book on the subject, written specifically for preschoolers.

• "Friends" and "girlfriend" Preschoolers

Some parents of preschool children exhibit anxiety when they hear the children talk about friends and girlfriends. When a child uses these words, he or she does not give them the same value as adults. Most experts agree that the best possible reaction of parents - a manifestation of indifference (do not encourage such behavior, but did not express concern).

Imagine that you are walking with your child. Are you sure you teach kids good manners, and he knows how to behave in public. And suddenly, quite unexpectedly for you and others, the child gives tactlessness bordering on rudeness, and all this with a completely innocent. You terrified. It does not matter, said the child the truth or not - we can not say the saleswoman at the store, her blue hair look "scary", and that's it. Here you have good manners. All lessons courtesy crumbled, with annoyance think you ... But all is not so simple.

All parents have gone through this. All mom and dad ever found yourself in a situation where their sweet child told relatives, friends or complete strangers something unpleasant, if not disgusting and not even realize it. No one can not just learn how to combine the good manners and honesty. Sometimes the situation gets out of control. Your child did not do it on purpose.

Anger - is not an option

How would you not be ashamed, do not point your irritation at the child - you want him to learn the "right" to behave, acquired communication skills and self-confidence, and not afraid to open his mouth. Try to overcome embarrassment and a desire to sink into the ground in shame or to be somewhere on the other side of the Earth, and remember that your baby is very small and does not understand what did not. If he demands an apology comment, you must be willing to give them. Then you can tell a child: "I understand that you wanted to say something nice, but the opposite happened. Let's talk about this at home. "

Be careful with "cover"

At the moment of your first social catastrophe (and natural) rush - "cover up" and protect the child, to find a justification for it. You would think that it would save the situation. But can you be wrong? In some cases, the "cover" only draw unnecessary attention to the slip of the child and to what he said. Apologies should be concise and to the point. Trying to fix the situation, you can only exacerbate a bad impression.

Tact is an art -

Tact - is understanding the subtleties of social interaction, which is difficult to master. Some is and is not possible. Sure, among your friends have at least one adult who regularly confuses others indiscretions. If some adults so difficult to comply with tact and not to commit embarrassing blunders, then what to talk about small children? They are doubly difficult.

Perhaps the best way to explain why it is sometimes better to be silent than to speak - is to turn to the main ethical principle ("Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"). Suggest that the child might say in such a situation. For example, you could show how you can make a compliment Compliments and their meaning: do not mistake the words   something that is really like a child, rather than focusing on the fact that it seems strange or ugly.

Learn to accept indulgence of others

As most of us at least once in their lives found themselves in such a situation, many among us who respond to children's tactless laugh or a knowing look. All parents make mistakes in the process of raising a child Raising a child: who will win? And you too will not escape this fate. Of course, there are people who react to the incident with little understanding, but they would do well to remember his childhood.

Do not be ashamed to accept indulgence of others. Discuss the incident with other parents to know that you are not alone in your confusion. Remember: in the tactlessness of the child there is nothing shameful or abnormal, it happens to everyone. In the end (maybe even sooner than you think), you can remember about the situation with a smile.