The first signals of discontinuity when to sound the alarm?

December 2nd, 2013

  • The first signals of discontinuity when to sound the alarm?
  • What to look for

 the first signals of the gap
 The sudden rupture of relations - like a bolt from the blue. It is staggering: yesterday it was all so good, and suddenly the situation changed dramatically. To the parting is not caught by surprise, should always treat a loved one carefully and pay attention to the subtle symptoms at first - the first signs of rupture. Such signals are always there, the main thing - time to decipher them.


Track changes

How to understand that separation is not far off? It should only take a closer look to the partner. Do not have appeared if he had any unexplained habits, which did not exist before? Not if he suddenly began to disappear without explanation? It is not excluded that the closer people are already adjusted to the separation and gradually preparing for this partner.

Alarming symptom - the disappearance of common friends. Sami then remain friends, but for some reason prefer to communicate with only one member of the family. They probably know about the impending break-up and make their choice.

Changing nature of the relationship as a couple. Can start a fierce argument. It is known that people try to love each other and take care not to offend even a great anger. If during a quarrel partner tries to "beat on the patient" and to humiliate a loved one, it is likely that he had already decided that the future together with this person he will not.

The reverse situation: the quarrel cease altogether. There is no relationship without conflict: clarifying the relationship, people are trying to find common ground, to come to some mutually acceptable solution. If the partner suddenly becomes calm and refuse to discuss relationships, it may mean that the relationship is already indifferent to him, and he does not want to expend energy on something uninteresting to him to discuss the issues already.

Loving people try to support each other. If the problems in one partner from another cause gloating and become a cause for ridicule - it is an occasion guard.

Sex is too rare and formal, or, on the contrary, unnaturally hot. The latter occurs if the partner wants to, for example, to leave about itself the best memories.

Outbreaks of unexplained irritability Irritability - you try to control my temper  Irritability - you try to control my temper
   against the partner may be associated with anything. And yet, very often, they are a sign that attitudes are moving to the final.


Can the prevention of parting?

Each time, starting the relationship, I want to believe that this love - forever. But the reality is that almost every relationship sooner or later come to an end. This can happen in fifty years after they met, but can - and within a week. And universal way to avoid breaking up, of course not.

Still, you can try to avoid at least a sudden rupture. All you need to do - build a relationship of trust. It is not easy: it is necessary to speak honestly with your partner and always take his point of view, a willingness to compromise and to support a loved one. It is important to discuss the problems in relations Seven of problems in relationships and how to solve them  Seven of problems in relationships and how to solve them
 And not expect that they will somehow disappear. Miracles do not happen, and mutual irritation builds up to then lead to separation. Parting, which might well have been avoided if both partners time to change their behavior.

It is not necessary to hope that a loved one will wake up telepathic abilities, and he guessed that he was not told. Most often this error allowed the girl: something they do not like the behavior of a young man, but they are silent, hoping that he would guess to change their behavior. Of course, this does not happen, and the wounded girl vomits relationship. But it was enough just to talk time.

Of course, in life anything can happen: sometimes the gap may be surprising even to the initiator of this gap, which yesterday did not think of parting. However, most relationships are declining gradually, and everything can be fixed, to be closer to your loved one.


Can I change something?

Thus, signs of impending rupture there. Is it possible to change something in this situation depends on whether there were still a partner at least some sense. Fortunately, the feelings do not usually disappear in an instant, so the chances to change the situation still is.

First of all, we should talk. Talk about their feelings, while avoiding accusations. Ask for help and advice. Try to find out what a partner wants from the relationship, if it is from them, of course, he wants something.

There is a risk that during such a conversation will hear the words of parting. They can only accept. But the chances that your partner is ready to further work on saving relationship too. And it is likely that a frank discussion will allow both parties to understand their mistakes and change their behavior to the relationship became even better.


How to make it clear favorite that will break?

Decide on separation is not as easy as it seems. Not everyone is ready to trample on the feelings of the partner, many people want to prepare the favorite last person to parting, that he did not suffer too much. Of course, this is not always possible, and yet the effort is worthwhile. After partner certainly not to blame for the fact that love has passed, and cause him unnecessary pain - too cruel.

It should start gradually move away from a loved one before a person. And this should be both physically and emotionally. Rarer. Most go somewhere without him. Less calls. Less tender catchphrases and jokes. No worries. Less listen less to agree, communicate less in general. Let the partner gradually withdraw from dialogue - so it will be easier to move the separation.

Unequal marriage - when the comparison is inappropriate

February 1, 2009

 Unequal marriage
   Under the unequal marriage can be understood as different variants of marriage; We'll talk about marriage between people with a significant difference in income and age. Cultural differences spouses belong to another topic, if only because it called unequal culture would be fundamentally wrong, but any significant difference between the couple can have a significant impact on their marriage.

 Unequal marriage - when the comparison is inappropriate

Unequal income

Stereotypically it considered normal when the husband earns a bit more of his wife, or when they have the same income. About misalliance can say when the income of one spouse is greater than the income of another several times.

How can this affect a marriage? Even if you think that love can build a bridge over any chasm, married to a man who earns much more than you do, it will be difficult to ignore the fact that he or she almost does not look at price tags in stores, quietly allow themselves to pay for lunch at a restaurant a few thousand, dressed in such a way that the experienced eye will immediately see a difference in your financial status. Social circle, expensive hobbies, recreation - all of this you will constantly face living in a marriage.

Perhaps you and your partner is not a big deal. But society as a whole is such that its members like to discuss the unequal marriages; sometimes even home spouses are such a marriage with a hidden or obvious disapproval.

What to do to such a marriage was doomed? Pre-think and talk about all the difficulties. Get ready to ignore any talk of your marriage. Indeed, ignoring here - the best solution: you do not have to make excuses for his decision to marry this or that person, as well as to prove that the financial component in your relationship - not the main thing.

 Unequal marriage - when the comparison is inappropriate

Big difference in age

Marriages with a large age difference The age difference between spouses: what is optimal?  The age difference between spouses: what is optimal?
   becomes more and more, but they still come in the conviction that surprisingly, the debate about normality or abnormality of the relationship. If you have any doubts about the latter - I remember that the love between two adults, and appropriate people nothing but the rules can not be.

Nevertheless, the difference between the couple can cause some problems. Probably the two most serious of them - sexual energy and understanding.

At the beginning of a relationship sex is beautiful almost all pairs. However, living together may expose the fact that the older partner's need for sex is much lower - and is unlikely to increase over time. In addition, when the first emotional outburst takes place, a young partner notices the gray hair, wrinkles and other signs of aging that are used to not paying attention. It's hard to argue that the aesthetic component in sex is of considerable importance - and such a discovery could affect the quality of sexual life. At the same time we must remember that sexual appetites can be very different and peers, and completely perfect body are found only in thoroughly processed photos.

Understanding - a problem to deal with which can be even more difficult. People of different generations may be completely different interests and views on life goals. If a young husband seeks to make a career, raise qualification, to travel, to explore the world from various sides, a senior partner can no longer be all that much to be quiet. However, this is not generally a low energy level does not always depend on the age.

The basic rule here: to talk about the potential difficulties before marriage. Ask each other what you want out of life, and if you find that you have a very different purpose for marriage is better to wait.

Love can overcome many things, but - not all. To enter into marriage, which stereotypically called unequal, need to know exactly what you need. This is a healthy pragmatism. After all, love each other is possible without marriage. Marriage is more necessary for people who have a common goal - if you have them, no inequality does not prevent your happy life together.

Article Tags:
  • Family Psychology